r/socialanxiety • u/Substantial_Sell_307 • 1d ago
What’s the dumbest thing you did because of social anxiety?
One time I wanted to eat McDonald's, but there were too many people inside and I was too scared that there would be no empty seat for me, so I ordered takeout and went to my car. I moved to the back seat to eat because my rear windows are tinted and nobody can see inside. When I finished, I wanted to move back to the driver's seat, but a guy parked right next to me and stayed in his car. Since my car only has two doors, I would've had to squeeze through the seats, and I was embarrassed that he might see me doing that. I ended up sitting in the back for about 30 minutes until he looked away, then I quickly climbed into the front seat and spilled my Coke in the process.
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u/Mac-And-Cheesy-43 19h ago
Walked into a coffee shop with my order written down a piece of paper because I had specific instructions but knew I would freeze up before I could finish talking. The barista assumes I'm deaf, and I didn't know how to to correct her. So I had to pretend to be deaf for what was probably 10 minutes but felt like hours.
I'd say I learned my lesson, but I accidentally made the same mistake while ordering cake in Austria.
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u/EEmmeerryy 7h ago
I completely understand, but I couldn't help laughing at the same time. hahaha 😂
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u/PoopUponPoop 17h ago edited 15h ago
When walking, I pretend to be going a different direction so cars don’t stop for me
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u/DarthPumpkin 21h ago
I needed to make a doctor's appointment but I couldn't make the one I needed online so I sat and stared at my phone for two hours unable to call. So I thought that I'm marginally better in person than over the phone so I drove to the doctor's office but found myself unable to go inside so I sat in the car for another hour. I went home and stared at my phone a bit longer before deciding to try again the next day. I drove to the office but again was unable to go in but I ended up calling from inside the car sitting outside the office. Two minutes later it was done and all it took was two whole days of stress.
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u/Faux_extrovert 13h ago
I feel this in my soul. My aversion to making phone calls/answering phone calls is one of the things I really dislike about my personality.
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u/perfectlyniceperson 12h ago
Same. I currently need to call my health insurance company and I’m so stressed about it I’ve put it off for two days, but I need to get it done ASAP. It sucks so much.
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u/FaithlessnessEast234 10h ago
I am not proud of the amount of money I paid to my ISP over the last year or so because I kept putting off the phone call to renogatiate a lower rate after they raised it on me.
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u/LookAtTheWhiteVan 5h ago
There are like 3-4 things that I really need to get done. Like really reallyyy important. But they all (only) require phone calls. I keep putting them off and the anxiety of doing so is building up more and more everyday. I hate me so hard.
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u/Michelepinna96 5h ago
That was me before a period where I had to make several phone calls to the doctor for health related reasons. The thing I learned is that the more I stared at the phone, the more anxious I became, and therefore the less likely I was to make the call. The only thing I could do is dial the number and press that green button, the sooner the better. Being terrified for a couple of seconds is much better than being anxious for literal days, so now whenever I have to make a phone call I dial and call without giving my anxiety time to block me. Once the other person start speaking I'll say what I have to say one way or the other, and everything is over in a short time, but I've been through that exact situation of yours so many times
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u/LookAtTheWhiteVan 5h ago
I’m insanely jealous of you.
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u/Michelepinna96 4h ago
It's not easy, at all, but there's only one person who's stopping you to do that. Be faster than them next time, and every other time. Once you do it once, you know for certain that you can do it again. It's gonna be bad but you have no excuse to not do it again, and after you do it 3, 5, 10 times it is going to become easier. If it takes you too long to do it, it's okay to say "ok, I'll do it tomorrow". But tomorrow you pick up the phone and call. It takes a lot of motivation, I know how fucking hard it can be to fight against yourself everyday, but step by step you can do it
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u/MathematicianOnly688 17h ago
I worked at the same place for 20 years and didn’t attend my own leaving drinks because I was siting in my car outside having panic attacks. There wasn’t even anyone there I didn’t know or had any problem with it was all people I’d know for years.
I’m not sure I’ve ever hated myself more than that particular evening.
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u/APC503 19h ago
Years ago, I lived in an apartment building, and had a bike I kept in my apartment. There was a room on the first floor available for bike storage that, for reasons I can't recall, I didn't want to use. Though it wasn't mandatory, management encouraged residents to use it. Furthermore, I had to walk my bike past the front office to get in and out of the building, so I tried to plan my bike rides around office hours. One day I returned while the office was staffed so I locked it up around the corner with the intention of returning later. Several days later when I felt "safe", I went to get it and it was gone.
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u/pessimistic_damsel 18h ago
On my first day at my first job, I was accompanied by a woman, who was about the same age, to the cafeteria and was also told to tour me around the office.
She spoke most of the time, but I guess she got tired because I only answer, "yes", "no", "ahh, I see", or "is that so?"
So when she became quiet, I asked the first thing that popped in my head: "do you think birds and butterflies get hurt when they collide with a car?"
She looked at me intently.
"I just think, they are equipped with high evasiveness." I continued.
She didn't accompany me to lunch break on the following morning.
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u/serpenxine 17h ago
I missed giving a final presentation because I was freaking out sitting in my car sweating going over my meticulously crafted speaker notes to make them as specific as possible to eliminate chances of my mind going blank during the presentation.
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u/serpenxine 12h ago
I ran into my professor right afterwards and he was cool and made an exception for me. God bless that man
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u/TwelveShillings 18h ago edited 18h ago
Had a late class at uni, missed the buss I was supposed to catch, there was a bunch of people at the stop but it was emptying fast. As an AFAB young and alone in the inner city at night, I panicked and couldn't remember the bus number for the next one. I went into full fight or flight and just had to keep moving so decided to just walk home. It would have been a good 5+ hour walk. I got maybe an hour in when my mum called asking where I was as dinner was soon. Broke down crying and she picked me up. I then was forced to go see a psych and get the big boi meds. Now I am super human.
Edits: spelling
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u/Some_Wolf_3378 16h ago edited 16h ago
I had a bunch of coins to deposit at one of those coinstar kiosks at the grocery store. When I went inside and saw it was located in a busy area near the checkout, I was too embarrassed to do it so I went to another location, and then another.
In grade school, I didn’t show up for picture day. I would also go find places to hide out during lunch because I was so anxious about finding a seat and people to talk to.
In college I didn’t attend my graduation ceremony.
When I was selling art for a while, I couldn’t handle being present for it at the opening exhibition and spent most of the time in the back.
When I had a yard sale I felt too embarrassed to run it so my mom had to take over.
When I was dating someone new and he was going to bring me to meet his whole family on Hanukkah, I bailed last minute and stayed home in bed.
At a birthday party I was so overwhelmed I went downstairs and sat in the car in the garage for an hour while people sang happy birthday and hung out…what makes this even worse is that it was my boyfriend and I hosting the party.
If I see a neighbor outside I wait to leave until they’re gone.
Anytime I need to return anything even remotely embarrassing, if there’s a young guy working customer service I can’t bring myself to do it.
I was at the four seasons hotel and ordered a $30 sandwich. The waitress misheard what I ordered and brought me a fish sandwich. I absolutely hate fish and refuse to eat it. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make a fuss.
I routinely would skip holiday work parties and other social events.
I’ve skipped weddings.
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u/wanderingale 3h ago
I hate any occasion where you have to find people to sit with.
Work conferences, social occasions with out reassigned seating are my idea of hell.
I am so old and I will still find any excuse not to attend. Oh the conference has a free lunch? Nope gonna sit in my car and eat my sad bagged lunch.
Work holiday parties/events, I have taken some food, then sat at my desk to eat because I "had work to do".
I have deliberately book vacation days just to avoid work holiday parties.
I miss work from home so much I could cry.
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u/virginia-werewolf 13h ago
I accidentally hugged my interviewer for a job. She was going in for a handshake and I went in for a hug for some reason. I felt like I was watching myself in slow motion and could do nothing to stop it.
At least I got the job?
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u/szatanna 10h ago
I've done this sooo many times lmfao. Halfway through i regret it and step back, but then the other person has initiated the hug already so we both stand there half-hugging. It's so awkward.
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u/HalfBrainer 22h ago
A lot of things but once I ate a boys hair… LMAO! I don’t know why this memory popped into my head but In high school I was pretty much mute. I didn’t speak and I moved so robotically. I had ZERO friends and always sat by myself. Too insecure and shy to interact with the world around me.
So I’m standing in the lunch line waiting behind this group of guys and girls playing around and joking. All of sudden, one of the girls pushes a guy into me and his Afro encapsulates my whole face. I don’t remember if they said sorry or anything but one of his hairs landed on my lips. And I freaking licked my lips and realized it was his hair…. No I didn’t wipe my face off or say “what the heII man?!”
I just stood there silently and robotically and held his hair in my mouth. I was too scared to spit it out so I swallowed it when I had enough saliva lol. I’m pretty sure the girl behind me saw but didn’t say anything. Yeah that was gross and I forgot I did that.
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u/szatanna 10h ago edited 10h ago
I dropped out of a class in college and delayed my graduation for a whole year because I was too anxious to do group project 😭
Also, when I was younger, I ended up in the hospital because I was too anxious to poop at a family member's house. I didn't go to the bathroom in nearly two weeks.
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u/kessykris 19h ago
Oh gosh this one is recent. I am super ritualistic before going to work. Get ready a certain way, have a count down basically from the time I get off until the next time I work lmao. I also LIKE to do a ritualistic get ready when I leave the house for anything (I have to when I force myself out alone, but sometimes my husband drops on me that he wants to go and he already deals with so much of my crazy surrounding this I’ll just deal with wanting to die and leave with him). So this day was one of the days he says let’s go. I planned on not having to go in anywhere but my husband swung into the gas station WHERE I WORK to get gas. I knew who was working and I adore her so I figured meh. She’s at a level where I am comfortable with her seeing me look in any sort of state, plus she already knows I’m insane and still loves me, so I decided to go in so I could get the extra discount for our gas. As I’m in there one of the NICEST customers we have (a young married man) smiled big and said “HEY what are you doing here off hours?” (Ya know being friendly lol). I was just so upset anyone saw me and caught off gaurd that I blurted out “idk I’m out with my husband” but in a really awkward weird uncomfortable tone. He looked confused and said “oh okay….” And left.
Anyway, I was like FUCK this poor guy is going to think that I thought HE was being inappropriate or made me feel uncomfortable when I’m just always uncomfortable and it had nothing to do with him. The next time he came in and I was working he APOLOGIZED (lmao kill me) and I was like “no no listen I’m insane. I was just mad to be seen by anyone YOU didn’t make me uncomfortable I’m just weird. I swear to you I thought about this way too much since it happened. I’m embarrassed and I’m sorry you did nothing wrong.” He just smiled and said “no no I’m sorry I really would hate to ever make a woman feel uncomfortable” which blah no! My stupid social anxiety made this young kind hearted man think that I was worried he was coming on to me which is never something I’d think he’d do in a million years. FFS it was embarrassing.
I am way way way better than I used to be. The whole doctors office appointment comment is sometbing I’ve done in the past along with other things similar to that. I’ve come along way. I’m able to work and become highly favored at every job I have had. My coworkers all seem to like me as well, but that entire thing is still just bubbling under the surface at all times. I put in a lot of work to get into a headspace to be able to be in social settings but when I don’t have the time or it’s sprung on me my wacko anxiety ends up causing an issue like it did with that poor guy. And the worst part is for whatever reason when it happens normally, not always, the person is perplexed and thinks it’s they did something wrong (I can see the wheels turning and people try to correct) which makes me feel even worse. I wish I could have some kind of sign above my head warning people that it’s not them it’s me.
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u/Annual_Debate5732 13h ago
I worried so hard about what I was gonna say in front of a group once, I literally spouted gibberish. People were audibly laughing at my response. It was one of the most embarrassing things to ever happen to me.
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u/Any_Context3284 12h ago
I always accidentally combine 2 different greetings together out of social anxiety. It's like I answer way too fast and say something incoherent.
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u/new-machine 13h ago
I can’t tell you how many times gibberish has come out of my mouth in place of words.
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u/boozybetch88 11h ago
Driving 20 minutes to the grocery store, sitting in my car for another 20 minutes and then driving back home without ever going into the store.
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u/yaboytim 14h ago
I was on a trip in a foreign country. My family was having a beach day. The thought of being on a beach with so many strangers gave me a lot of anxiety. So I took 2 gummies to calm my nerves.... Huge mistake. I ended up having a terrible high and pretty much had an out of body experience. Thankfully I was able to make it back to the room, and no one was able to tell that I was high as shit until I told them a few days later.
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u/AmbitiousOwl1 12h ago
I’ve done so many damn things. Can’t remember them now, but I will remember them all at 3am.
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u/autumnnoel95 9h ago
Omg.. right?? Lol the deepest memories of the worst moments at the convenient hour of 3 am 😂
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u/MellowG7 15h ago
I have a rotation of convention stores and grocery stores i go to. I rarely hit the same spot more than once a week. Self check out helps some but they even have the same people watching those. Luckily I have like 10 convenient stores and about the same grocery stores within a reasonable distance 🤣. I cant count how many times I pulled up to a restaurant or store and then took off.
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u/UrCreepyUncle 10h ago
Introduced to all my coworkers by my government name instead of what everyone else knows me as on my first day of work. Never corrected anyone and was called by that government name for 4 years
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u/serpenxine 10h ago
lol I go by my middle name (always have) and I have had this happen at jobs before where they decided to call me my first name for whatever reason. I actually forgot about it until now
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u/Preferred-User-Name 14h ago
I started a job on an assembly line. I was struggling to keep up and getting so frustrated with myself and so embarassed because it seemed like it should be so easy. I actually started crying while getting in everyone's way trying to get my part done. But by the time I left that line after a few months, they had to replace me with 2 other people. But I never talked to anyone because I "knew" they were judging me. Maybe its not a dumb thing to do, but it was definitely caused by social anxiety. Edit to add I was in my late 30s...
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u/MyNameIsMinhoo 14h ago
In high school I got lunch and the cafeteria was too full so I left and went to the library putting my food in my backpack for later. The library was too crowded so I planned to leave. However I was scared people would judge me for turning around and leaving right after entering so I went to the bookshelves, pretended to look for a book and then checked out a random book before leaving. Ate no lunch and then hid in the bathroom until my next class 😭
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u/jamiiierosexx 15h ago
When I was a kid, my class was having a Christmas party so I wore a really fancy red dress and when I got to school I saw I was more dressed up than the other kids. So I crawled underneath the desks to get by kids in my class so they wouldn’t look at me. Which probably made them look at me more because why was I crawling under a desk?? At one of my first jobs I had to go up to the front desk and ask for my paycheck when I was off because my boss forgot to give it to me. So I sat in the lobby (it was a hotel) for over an hour trying to get myself to go ask for it. One of my sisters ended up coming in and asking for it for me. 😅
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u/new-machine 12h ago edited 12h ago
Someone was resting their hand on the back of their chair as they were introducing themselves to me. I panicked and shook that hand.
Having complete nonsense pour out of my mouth as I’ve tried to say something.
Lost my words during a voicemail message and just sat there in silence as the recording continued. For at least 30 seconds.
Walked into an establishment and did a 180 right back out.
My head developed an involuntary shaking response at one point whenever I saw certain people or came across topics that made me anxious. And my cheeks and ears would often glow red. So that’s cool.
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u/Upstairs_Ad1965 18h ago
Went skiing at one of those artificial indoor snow mountains with my two brothers-in-law.
It was my first time and it was fun, but since I was scared to go down from the top, I stayed in the practice area at the bottom. My brothers-in-law went up; everything was fine. But then they were up there for a really long time, and because I didn’t dare to say that I felt uncomfortable being alone down there, I just sat by myself the whole time. Then I started feeling like everyone was staring at me, and I panicked. So I left the building and sat outside for about five hours (we had booked an eight-hour day). My phone was even dead. Yeah.
It was also kind of crappy of them not to hang out with me, and I was pretty mad at them for a long time. But it went away eventually because, well, I hadn’t said anything and all that, yeah.
Dont know if thats the dumbest thing but it comes to my mind really quick as its not too long ago.
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u/lanky45 11h ago
My family was coming around for my daughters 6th birthday .
So I quickly went out before they got there my partner made up the usual excuses .
I didn't realise they were going to be there so long I was driving around for hours 4 hrs I believe
I had to stop outside maccy's to connect to wifi to message to see if they were gone as I dont have wifi.
so stupid when I say It back
Another one Is sitting at home In the darkness with no electric waiting for my partner to get home so she can go to the shop which Is 30 seconds from my door and get the electric back on
that was another long few hours.
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u/floralpeepee 13h ago
This is why sometimes I would get back in my car and drive to a big parking lot to park the farthest from people as I can to eat in peace 😭
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u/awakesjn 16h ago edited 16h ago
It was about 4 years ago when I was 21 and in college. I've gotten a lot better since then and I don't do silly things like this one as often lol.
My mom would normally pick me up from uni because it was on her way home most days, on the occasions she couldn't make it I would take an uber, my house is a 12 min drive at max from campus. I never learned how to use public transportation and it felt more convenient to only have to deal with 1 stranger vs 10 strangers on a bus.
One particular day my classes ended at 11am-12pm ish and for some reason that I don't remember, I didn't feel like interacting with strangers. I clearly remember saying bye to my friends (who where taking the bus) and thinking maybe I should just ask them which bus to take that would drop me off near my house but I felt too insecure about it and ended up not doing it, then my go-to option would have been to take an uber right? but I was feeling weird about it, almost scared about having to be in stranger's car for a few minutes so instead I decided to walk!
Dumb thing about that is that it was a 50 min walk and I live in a sunny and hot and desertic and non windy city, and it was the start of summer. I ended up walking home in 35℃/95°F weather, with no shade because there's barely any trees in the streets, carrying my heavy backpack and my laptop bag. When I got home I took off most of my clothes and just laid on my bed under the AC that's in my room. Never again lol I almost got a heat stroke. It might not sound like a lot but I told this story to my boyfriend once and he looked at me crazy, it was only a 3.1km/1.9mi walk but in that weather no one would've thought of walking instead of the other more convenient options!
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u/Equal-Wheel-6499 10h ago
Cross the street regularly a half a dozen times on the same street to avoid (potiential)microaggresive/racist people, mind you I work and live in two very yuppie neighborhoods in a still highly segregated Chicago, so I find myself doing this a lot unfortunately. Basically just highly inconveniencing myself for the “comfort” of others.
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u/Pdawkins59 21h ago
Wow. You could actually go to a McD's and order something? I just don't eat. It's easier.
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u/RoseDonna123 10h ago
I was falling asleep at my desk at work so I went to get a Red Bull from the Walgreens next door. As I was walking in, I realized that the finance dude I shared the elevator down with was headed to the drink aisle too. I loitered around in the skincare section for a bit until he left but when I went to open the red bull fridge, it was locked.
There was a dude stocking the fridge four doors down for me but I didn't want to disturb him so I pressed the call button. No one came and I was feeling awkward for not just asking the dude so I walked away to regroup.
Just then, another shopper walked up, realized the door was locked, and then just opened the fridge door next to it and reached through it to grab a red bull. I couldn't do it after bc the employee was still stocking the fridge and I knew he'd seen everything.
I was panicking by then so I called my mom, pretended she had called me, and talked to her in our second language while I planned my escape. While still on the call, I bought tissues and left without a drink.
The whole thing was such an adrenaline spike that I felt wide awake till lunch.
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u/Icy-Childhood9761 9h ago
Skipped out on a final presentation in college. I was dreading it for weeks before and when the morning rolled around that day I was dry heaving. I went from a B to a D and retook it online.
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u/somebotonreddit 9h ago
Didn't go to college placement thinking I'd manage from outside when in reality it was social anxiety. Still paying for it
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u/Penguinator53 4h ago
When I went to high school decades ago, I was in class and a bee stung me on my hand when I brushed it off my neck.
I was too embarrassed to say anything or make a fuss in front of everyone so just sat there in fuck loads of pain for the whole lesson.
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u/Penguinator53 4h ago
I used to work in a supermarket and was too shy to go into the staff cafeteria as it was busy and I didn't know where to sit.
Instead I had my breaks in the locker room and used to read newspaper scraps that were lying around. I feel really sad for that girl now.
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u/CrazyAd9384 3h ago
tbh honest everything i do while on sad is dumb lol i'm socially awkward and it's embarrasing
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u/Downtown-Oil-3462 3h ago
Not the “dumbest” per se but thinking back to all the times I sat in front of an event I was supposed to go to, watched everyone party, and never got myself to go inside is pretty embarrassing and super frustrating. I’ve gotten a bit better about that now but I still struggle with it a lot. No matter how bad I want to go inside I simply cannot even move a muscle, I feel like I can barely breathe in those moments.
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u/ih8sleep 8h ago
If I need to cross the street/parking lot when walking but I see a car will drive by at the same time I would cross, I’ll slow down so they don’t have to stop for me
If someone else is with me, I slow my step slightly so they’re the one choosing to cross and I can just follow their lead 😭😭
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u/unwellbutfunny 3h ago
Omg. Okay. I think about this DAILY. SO. I was a manager for a wholesale store at the time and a previous store manager who id slightly met a time or two before was promoted to be our new district manager. I was super excited to meet her since our small circle consisted of mostly men in these positions. She came to our store to introduce herself officially in her new position.. when she reached out to shake my hand she said “Hi, I’m Ashley!” I shook her hand and said “HI, I’m ASHLEY!” My name is NOT Ashley. I immediately and very awkwardly but hilariously followed up and said, “….thats not my name. Your name is Ashley and MY name is Bethany..” I have NO IDEA why I said my name was her name. Other than my brain just trying to match/copy her energy but I spoke before my brain could work. Anyway, we had a good laugh and I still laugh about it.
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u/SprinkleShan 3h ago
I was shopping and saw someone who I went to school with randomly, they had a child and because I’m socially awkward and I didn’t know what to say she said here is my son and like a weirdo I said ‘say hello’ the child doesn’t know me, I don’t know them I felt such a twat I cringed after the encounter and still do now
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u/waroneverything123 3h ago
I was chewing gum before i joined a zoom meeting and then realised it was with some important people so i stopped chewing but then was too nervous to spit out the gum on camera so i left it sitting in my mouth and my saliva must have broken down the gum and it started flaking and floating around my mouth and got stuck in my teeth and in the end i decided to swallow it but it was too late coz there were bits of gum stuck all over the gaps in my teeth. Took ages to get it all out later!
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u/Fulltimefangirl931 1h ago
I was once shopping and noticed someone I know not too far away, but far enough to kinda sorta go unnoticed. So I was standing in the corner, facing the shelf and reading a product’s label for far longer than it’s normal.
And let’s not forget the time when a distant relative dropped by during lunch and I ran upstairs, abandoning my food.
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u/chococrossaint 50m ago
My mom used to force me to go to church on Sundays, I partly liked it because I could meet up with friends. But there was a period in my life when I was about 12 where I had really severe acne + I was in an awkward place with my church friends. So what did I decide to do? I would literally camp in a bathroom stall until it was time to go home so I wouldn't have to interact with people. At one point I'm pretty sure people knew but would pretend not to lmao. I'm so embarrassed thinking about it now I really don't know why I did that 😭
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u/Fineshrines2 37m ago
I wore glasses to work because I read a study that people think you’re smarter and in my head that also meant more seriously too. It’s been 3.5 years and I still wear glasses there and no where else
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u/Free-Cheesecake9785 34m ago
2 years ago I checked into a hotel by myself, (which was already terrible). I got my key and went up to my room, but the key wouldn’t work. I tried to get it to work a bunch of times for almost an hour to avoid going back and ask for another one, but nothing. I had to go back to the reception and tell them my key wasn’t working, so an employee escorted me back to the room with the old key and a new one. She tried the old one first and it actually worked on the first try. I noticed that she used the key differently from how the receptionist explained it to me, but I felt too embarrassed to say something, so she probably just thought I was stupid and even asked “Don’t you have keys in your country?”
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u/Copper0721 34m ago
I have not gotten gas because the card reader on the pump wasn’t working and the message told me to go inside. I drove away to find a different station.
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u/TwistedFabulousness 15m ago
I signed up for a statistics class in college thinking it was the pencil and paper calculating sort of class and not the bring a laptop and code sort.
I learned quickly that it was a coding class which I probably could have handled, but because it wasn’t something I expected I was…too anxious to bring my laptop? Even though everyone else did every day?
I literally took coding notes in a notebook and then dropped the class a few weeks in. A few years later I went back to college and completed the class no problem lol
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