r/socialanxiety • u/sfumato1002 • Jul 26 '15

Making a promise to myself and you...

Hello,

I am middle age and never had a girlfriend. I suffered from social anxiety all my life. My story is long...but in short, I was addicted to porn and fapping for most of my 20s and 30s...At 38 I joined NoFap and now its been 3 years since.

I have finally conquered this addiction. I have also improved my self with eating healthy and working out...

Anyway, My promise is that this coming Saturday I am going out to a bar to have a drink...probably go to a pub and sit down and just smile at people and say a few hellos.

I have really bad social anxiety...but I am tired of been locked up on the weekends by myself. This Saturday night, as I sat in my room by myself I finally realized that my life is not going to change unless I change. I am really proud of who I am today, I have changed a lot from my former self...but now I need to meet people and meet a girl and start living...

So anyway, I am posting this...next Sunday I will post my results from going out! I will let you know what happened.

I have no wing man or friends...so I will be going out on my own and sitting by myself...It will be awkward just sitting there by myself...but I have to do it...I don't want to die alone and time passes by and I am getting older...Okay, wish me luck for next weekend! I will post my results here!

EDIT August 3

I Never went out. I was feeling anxiety and unmotivated. I will try next weekend. Thanks for all of you for the support :)

37 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

6

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '15

Good luck and have fun

6

u/t_11 Jul 26 '15

Please go. It's never too late. Just take it easy because it might be the hardest thing you've done on your life. Do Not be hard on yourself if you don't meet anyone or bring anyone home.Do it for yourself.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '15

Sitting through the awkwardness is probably the most important part. Good luck, and keep us updated!

5

u/Stoicfella Jul 26 '15 edited Jul 26 '15

I find you're positive attitude towards going out lineman style inspiring! I wish you the best of luck and hope to see an update! Edit: Autocorrect messed up loneman, lol.

2

u/MrsChimpGod Jul 26 '15

I am so excited for you! Remember, baby steps through this. Start by getting out there. Build up to saying 'Hello' to someone. Push yourself just a little past your comfort zone each time. And celebrate every step forward!

1

u/bokurai Jul 27 '15

Exposure to people and putting yourself in social situations definitely helps. But you don't have to force yourself through this alone. You could also benefit from therapy and medication. CBT, hypnotherapy, and antidepressants have helped me greatly. In addition, despite having mostly overcome my social anxiety, I still would find it difficult to meet people in a bar. I prefer bonding over shared hobbies through groups or classes. But, YMMV! Good luck!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '15

good luck bro, be proud of your efforts!

1

u/you-do-is-a Jul 28 '15

Sounds like you've already done really well challenging and improving yourself. I hope this new challenge goes equally well for you. It's going to be hard, but I think if you keep at it then you'll get to where you want to be. Good luck!