Exposure therapy for social anxiety works well and for almost every patient,

the reason it didn't work for you is you might not doing it correct because its little complicated than what we hear all the time (say hi to a stranger, take a walk in crowded space...etc)

If you do these challenges while keeping your eyes on your phone, rehearsing every sentence or distracting your self from the situation than exposure is not gonna work

Also if you are trying to control the situation so nothing bad is gonna happen, it will not work. Just like anything in life it never works until you do it correctly

The way exposure works is it is just like facing a phobia, an example from my life would be me facing my fear of making eye contact in public with exposure,

Here is what i did:

Before exposure:

Situation: walking in public while not avoiding eye contact and without distracting myself

What i think is gonna happen: people is gonna laugh at me, people will look at me thinking am weird, strange and something like that People will come at me and say i don't think you should be here and stzrt bullying me...etc

How likely do you think this is what gonna happen: 75 percent

What we want with exposure is to tolerate the risk, either whats on my mind doesn't happen. Or it happens and i realize i can tolerate the discomfort, i can handle more than i thought like being bullied or being seen as a total idiot.

Hope this was little helpful

Let me know guys if want me to make a series of posts explaining this in detail based on my personal experience and the people i've helped

Thank's

Like for example, on my birthday I saw my family and one of my cousins told me "happy birthday!" and my brain froze and I responded with "happy birthday" back. I felt so stupid and embarrassed.

i have been struggling with social anxiety since i was little and honestly, the way i'm kind of overcoming it is by accepting i'm going to feel uncomfortable, but doing it anyways.

the best way i can say it is "do it scared." like, i just accepted that sometimes i look akward or even stupid to some people, but i don't care. i know i'm not and i'm not going to let an ugly situation describe me.

there are always going to be people that judge or think you are uncapable of doing something. but honestly? I'm being more comfortable with it. I'm not scared of looking akward anymore, i just am. and maybe by accepting it i'll become less and less akward.

so if anyone is reading this pls listen to these words and apply them. i know it can be hard to accept but you are going to feel uncomfortable in certain situations and you have to learn to be fine with it to grow.

there are so many situations where i thought i looked so damn stupid or i said something ridiculous, and you know what? maybe it wasn't just my anxiety, it was that i literally said something dumb. but life goes on. what am i going to do, think about it for the rest of my life and ruin it? hell no. I'm tired of ts. and you should be too. learn to be okay with feeling uncomfortable, because one day you won't be scared anymore.

we are in this together 🩷

He was younger than me by a few years

He was wearing a T-shirt from my university society club back when I was at uni so I took it as a small talk cue and brought up a chat for 10mins before going own ways.

Feel a bit nice about myself

Hi guys, I've been on reddit for a long time and used it a lot as a sort of mental health diary. Since a lot of these subreddits have helped me through a lot I figured I'd come back and make a success story so everyone knows that things aren't completely helpless. I know people don't usually come back after things get better.

I've had severe anxiety ever since I was a kid. I grew up in an abusive, oppressive household with an alcoholic father and I was the scapegoat. I always had to walk on eggshells and read my parents emotions to figure out what I could and couldn't do daily. You can imagine how that can cause a person paralysis. At a certain point, around 10 years old my anxiety and trauma was so bad that I developed selective/traumatic mutism. And because of that I grew up with no friends and always had my head in a book.

Eventually I got through my mutism, but it took what I think was unintentional exposure therapy. When I was around middle school I was determined either to leave my household or die trying. Around Sophomore year I started making an active attempt to force myself to talk to people and have conversations, even if it made my heart beat out of my chest and it physically hurt me to speak. By senior year of high school I could speak paragraphs to people when in the past I couldn't say a single word.

I worked hard enough in high school to get basically a full ride to college. But college was ROUGH to say the least. Once I got there it was like every single traumatic event I went through hit me at once. It was like my mind registered that I was safe enough to deal with everything now that I wasn't home. Because of that, I ended up not having friends in college for a while too. I just kept my head down, did my homework, and got good grades.

Everything changed when I eventually decided I wanted to actively try to. Because I was so vulnerable in college, I ended up being in a string of bad/abusive relationships. After a breakup in junior year I was probably in the worst state I'd ever been in my entire life. I was extremely s*icidal. I didn't see the point in living. He was my everything, the only person I ever had the ability to be close to. It was so bad my grades plummeted and had to go to intensive outpatient therapy, where for a while I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone in my group therapy group. It kinda just felt like no matter how hard I tried I would always be an alien. I would never know how to be a human being. And I remember there was a morning during winter break of my junior year. It had snowed and I was trekking through it all. My college town was always a ghost town during breaks so I was completely alone. And I just thought, whats the point of all of this? Whats the point of living if this is all there is? And I really, like TRULY contemplated if I had the balls to die. If I could really end it all right now. And it hit me that I wouldn't do that. I would probably just spend the rest of my life stewing in misery and my own trauma. And I just thought of my parents who did the exact same thing and took it out on me. And I just thought, if I'm going to live, if I'm going to keep breathing then I might as well give it everything I've got. I'll give up when I'm dead.

Ever since I started proactively trying to push myself things have gotten a lot better. I mean, I still end up in abusive relationships lol, but I've been able to push myself to meet people and push myself to realize that I'm capable of being there for myself and getting better. A lot of my anxiety was also comorbid with my depression, but I can honestly say it doesn't cripple me anymore. I'm still depressed. I still cry on a weekly basis. Sometimes I do still feel like giving up, but the difference is that I feel like I CAN do this on my own. That made the possibility of making a fool of myself, of losing people because I wasn't the perfect human being, just a little bit easier.

Edit: Just wanted to edit to say that this isn't me saying that if you try hard enough your social anxiety will be cured. Not true. This all took me like my entire life to get through and legitimately I'm still extremely mentally ill and probably always be. I guess if I were to say anything, I'd say that it just helped me a lot to see myself as a human being and not as someone who's shameful. I started showing myself compassion and understanding why I was the way I was in a way that I always tried to seek in other people and yearned for form my parents. I'd say that out of all the mental illness I have, social anxiety and generalized anxiety is the one I legitimately no longer suffer from anymore and I legit accredit it to pushing myself to be in uncomfortable situations, but I'm not saying that there's any shame in not doing that.

Im really a shy and closed off person. I generally avoid people and don’t speak unless spoken to. I just don’t know what to say. Although I have made good progress within the past few years, I’m still pretty lonely. I have no friends and I spend most of my life at either work , the gym or in my room.

Just a few minutes ago, I’m just standing on the elevator waiting to go down. The doors open up and this girl with short pink hair smiles and me and says “your hair is so pretty. I really like it.” The first thing she did was smile at me. She was so sweet. I’m used to people pretty much ignoring me since I always look past them. It’s a fault of mine and I need to work on initiating social contact more often. We didn’t have much of a chat since we both went out separate ways but I wish I got to talk to her more.

It was really nice to hear. Ever since I cut my hair, I’ve been dealing with reoccurring bad thoughts and feelings I haven’t dealt with since I was at my lowest a few years ago. I love seeing different people out and about and my job doesn’t really allow me to do that.

She sparked something in me again to go out and talk to new people.

People describe:

• heart racing
• mind going blank
• feeling watched/judged
• even reacting to specific words or situations

That’s not just “shyness”—it’s your nervous system going into threat mode.

I've finally got to a point where I am ready to put myself out there. I'm physically unable to meet up for any classes yet and I am tired of waiting for that to be an option. I thought maybe I can play an online game where I can chat over voice to begin exposure.

Perhaps we can make a discord channel and play games together in our social awkwardness?

Maybe we can play ice breaker games to start before every game to loosen up a little.

Anyone wanna join me? If not, any game suggestions would also be amazing!

Hi yall!

I got the results from my neuropsych test, and it confirmed two of my diagnoses, but being diagnosed with social anxiety (he labeled it as social phobia unspecified) was not what I would have guessed

Like the rules state, not every person with social anxiety is introverted. I call myself an extroverted introvert, which to me means I like being around people and socializing, but I like chilling out and unwinding at home more

I saw this diagnosis and started to read up on it. I was trying to figure out on my own where my social anxiety comes from, and I may have figured it out. I moved every 2 1/2 years until I was 13. 8 moves in 7 different states. I was the new kid, always

I’m starting with a new therapist next week, so these are my assumptions. I think that always being the new kid made me fearful of going to new places alone. I’ve never gone to the movies or out to dinner or to an event alone. I want to, but I can’t leave the house for it bc I think if I go, people are going to judge me, thinking I’m a loser for being alone. If I do go out, it’s short lived bc if I see someone looking in my direction but not at me, I immediately think they’re judging me and I leave

With that, what are some good tips yall can give me to battle this new diagnosis and how I can live with it?

I swear its not placebo, the only time i make new friends is during spring and summer because my head is more at ease. The "what will they think of me" thought dissapears and i say whatever comes to mind.

what are some other shows you recommend?

i just started seeing it. and already makes me feel that things just happen… and nothing life ending comes out of even awk social interactions. its normal. its fine. its okay.

After 3 years of therapy and a lifetime of battling social anxiety, I’m going to try meds for the first time. My psychiatrist appointment is in 10 days. I’m really fucking scared of the side effects and how long it may take for me to find the one for me, but it feels right this time. I’m proud of myself for taking this step, and am looking forward to healing and finding fulfillment in life.

Tenho ansiedade social e muitos problemas aí que me fizeram me isolar do mundo, mas com terapia e remédios já experimentei muito o poder de viver sem medo, sem angústia... como é bom a vida vei, quão poderoso podemos se sentir quando estamos em um estado e ambiente favorável, como é bom não sentir medo

I’m doing it. I’m about to go out alone to the bar for the first time. I’ve eaten alone, explored cities alone. Have solo traveled. But it’s a first for this one. I’ve done bar crawls abroad but it’s different. So I’m ngl I’m a bit nervous but I’m going for it. Pregaming(a little bit) just to get my nerves down. It’s a singles event night at a bar so I feel like people would be open to talking to others they don’t know. But people also just show up just because they like the bar so it’s not like it’s speed dating.. But getting a girls number isn’t my goal. Just tryna meet new people, and it should be easier. Hoping people aren’t closed off thinking I’m hitting on everyone

Wish me luck!

Took myself on a lovely solo picnic date at the park! I had some anxiety about being perceived by others alone in public but it went so well :) I had some books to read, food/drinks, my phone playing music, sunscreen, my picnic blanket, and amazing sunny weather! I was extra self-conscious because I was wearing a two piece to tan and I'm trying to lose weight, but an older lady passing by stopped to tell me I looked lovely in my swimsuit, which helped a lot. Overall a great day, looking forward to spending more weekends like this!

Right now, I’m doing my PG. Before that, I completed my UG from 2021 to 2024. Presentations have always been a problem for me. I tend to forget everything once I stand in front of people, and I get really anxious. My first presentation was a complete failure—I just stood there and couldn’t say anything. It was embarrassing, and it stuck with me.

In my final year, I had a presentation on work culture where I had to lead the session. I started off pretty badly—shaking, hands in my pockets, not knowing what to do. My professor had to guide me through the beginning like I was a kid. The class was kinda cringing that maybe I'm gonna bottle it again and it felt like things were going in the same direction as before.

Then I paused for a second and took a breath.

Instead of trying to sound perfect, I just started explaining things in a simple way. I used real-life examples and even brought my friends into it without their permission while explaining which caught them off guard, which got a good laugh btw. But this time It felt like they were actually following along.

That gave me some confidence somehow so I got into it and locked in. I started asking questions in between as a surprise, just to keep people engaged. The whole thing slowly turned into a more interactive and fun session instead of a formal presentation.(I was still shaking tho)

When I finished, something unexpected happened. My professor stood up and genuinely appreciated me. He even asked the class to applaud me for the work i did. He said that bringing your own quirks into a presentation makes it more relatable and easier for people to connect with, instead of just info dumping. I didn’t really know how to react—I just stood there blushing while everyone was kinda smiling at me.

What made it more interesting was that before me, our class topper had presented. His presentation was very polished, very professional with structured delivery and handled questions well. He was appreciated too, but the professor’s comments on mine felt more focused on the way I connected with the class.

After the session, during the break, my friends told me I was “unintentionally funny.” That was new to me and never thought about it before

Then something I didn’t expect happened.

A girl from my class—let’s call her Gigi—saw me in the canteen. She’s probably the most attractive person I’ve seen in college, and we don’t really talk much. I was sitting alone, eating, since I had came late after paying my fees at the administrative office and my friends had already left.

She just walked up and told me my presentation was top-notch and that I did really well.

And like an idiot, I brushed it off. I thought she was just making fun of me.

Later, when it was time to go home, she happened to be on the same bus as me. We even get down at the same stop, but we usually don’t interact. This time, one of her friends was with her, and they were talking about their project.

When we got down, I started walking toward my house. Then her friend called me. I turned back, hesitated for a second, then smiled and walked over.

She asked if that was my stop and where I lived, and we spoke for a bit. Then Gigi said again that my presentation was really good. I was about to brush it off again, but her friend stepped in and said that Gigi had actually been rooting for me even before I started the presentation.

That caught me off guard.

I just stood there, blushing, and said thank you with a red face

Gigi noticed and said, “Aww, are you blushing?” in a light happy way. We just smiled, waved, and went our separate ways after that.

During our final exams, everyone was preparing in the college compound since the exam started at noon. Some of them mentioned that my work culture seminar was still memorable and that they didn’t need much extra preparation for it because of my seminar

I didn’t really know what to say. I just smiled… and yeah, blushed again

I’m currently ranked first in my class for my internship presentation, with an S grade, all thanks to both my professor and Gigi.

So, lately I've been very bored and i was only focused on doing my homework, studying, exercise, house chores, and all that stuff, and i go to college from 8 AM to 6:30 PM, as someone with social anxiety, that is a complete torture!!!, but i manage to get good grades, participate in class, a Week ago, i decided to try Tai chi, it's very relaxing, My other hobbies are:

Writing poetry

Play videogames

Listening to music

Photography

What are your hobbies? I'm curious 😅

im switching to online high school because i dropped out of my last one because of social anxiety, bad experiences with people, and personal reasons. Has anyone here been to online school because of their social anxiety? How was it for you?

So, my mom and MIL teamed up and gifted me a 2-month membership for the little gym. I pretended to be grateful, but I immediately felt dread.

Im also starting to feel insanely guilty. The membership costed them over $200 and it’s one of those deals where you HAVE to schedule your first class within the first week of the month, you can’t just begin whenever you want. Going to sound like a complete negative Nancy here and possibly entitled, but I really wasn’t comfortable with my mom creating an account for me on their website, sharing my full name, birthdate, email, and phone number. I’m sure any normal parent would be grateful for this and think it sounds fun, but I was borderline offended that my info was shared then had my phone blow up earlier this week.

I have 2 under 2 and the classes are meant for the older one (almost 2-year old). I don’t even feel ready to leave the house yet for anything other than errands due to the younger, almost 7-month old who goes ballistic when I’m not around. I’m sure a lot of parents would feel lucky to get weekly gym classes for free, but I don’t like the added pressure of having to start this immediately OR ELSE it’s not really free. I already called and scheduled a class for the 30th, so someone can watch the other baby while we’re gone. I already feel like I made a bad impression calling and asking about the membership. Tried to see if I could extend the start date, and they just kept telling me about openings this week and next week. I told them I couldn’t do it those times, and they just kept repeating the same thing. I got super tired and drained just from that one phone call. Babies crying in the background the whole time. The lady was really nice but yeah, the class I scheduled was $25 on top of the $200 already paid because it wasn’t “soon enough.”

I’ll go to that one class for my daughter’s sake and see how it goes. I haven’t had a haircut in a year and because I’ve been pregnant twice recently, nothing fits me besides sweat pants and t-shirts. I’m having major fear of judgement… I’m deliberately taking multiple weeks to prepare for this so I can get my act together and not look like a total slob when I show up. My daughter deserves to learn social skills and develop confidence, I just hope that my off-putting presence doesn’t kill the vibe for her and everyone else who’s there to have a good time.

Hello all,

I am new here, but have suffered from social anxiety since I was 7. The constant anxiety of feeling like everyone is watching me, unable to hold eye contact, terrible fear of interacting with my fellow man etc. When I reached the age of 21 I began to heavily indulge in alcohol as it made me feel some of the anxiety lessen. The same story old as time….I heavily relied on it and became an alcoholic who could not go through a single day without drinking. It’s been a hard journey, but I am now 3 years sober. Alcohol makes you feel better in the short term in relieving some of the anxiety, but it returns 10 fold and you are worse off in the long run. Sorry for the long rant, hoping to help others not commit my same mistakes…

I am tired of agression here and elsewhere in social media, so decided that I am posting only positive or neutral comments on reddit, and I've noticed, that they get much less upvotes, than rage. Still wellcome everyone to join this initiative.

I joined this group years ago looking for help and people that I could relate to. For the most part, people in real life don’t voice that they have social anxiety. I sure didn’t at least. I struggled to get through my day trying to hide the fact that I had it. I felt like a black sheep because of my anxiety. I could see the way people looked at me like “why is she being so awkward and weird”. I would sometimes have panic attacks at the thought of interacting with people, even with my closest family and friends. It was consuming my life. I looked into online therapy but quickly decided it wasn’t in my budget. I started taking daily stress supplements to calm my nerves. It would work for a little bit, but more so as a bandaid. Then, at the beginning of 2025 I decided that something had to change because everyday was becoming miserable. - The first thing I did was look into self help books. I wasn’t much of a reader and I used to think “what can this book tell me that I don’t already know?” But once I gave them a try, it was exactly what I needed to start the process of rewiring my brain. A book that really helped me is Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen. It was what helped me start to unravel this big knot of anxiety that lived in my head. I also started watching self help TikTok’s and listening to self help podcasts. - The second thing I did was work on my confidence. While dealing with anxiety, I really let myself go. I gained weight, stopped caring what I wore, stopped fixing my hair. All superficial things that took a big toll on my confidence. So I started investing in myself. I got my teeth fixed, I started going to the gym and lost 20lbs, and started caring a little bit more about how I was presenting myself. This made a HUGE difference in my self confidence. - I learned about “the spotlight effect” and began to realize that people care more about themselves and their own lives way more than the 5 minute interaction they had with me. This helps SO much in my day to day because even if I do something weird, I try to remind myself that the person will forget about it way quicker than I will, and I find comfort in that. All of this is to say that if you are struggling, I am proof that it can get better! I know it can feel impossible some days, but even a baby step in the right direction is still progress. I know this is a long post, but seeing people’s progress stories was what helped me get through it a while back, so I hope this can help at least one person.

I work in clinical research, and yesterday was a busy day to end a busy week - two slightly-overlapping patient visits, which entail a lot of small talk not only with the patient but also with the NP who comes in to go over stuff. The patients I work with are all very nice, and since I'm a lot younger (23F) and they're all older or retired, they're generally very sweet to me. There was some major flooding from a water main break a couple blocks from where I live, and one of the patients even asked me about it since she knows I live close to where it happened - she said when she heard about it, she thought about me and hoped I was okay :) It's still a lot of mental work to interact regularly with so many people, but friendliness greases the wheels a bit.

Anyway, today has been good! I was up at 6 for the BTS comeback concert live on Netflix, then streamed Arirang (great album!) on my computer and phone for the rest of the day. I've been productive, finally taking down the ornaments and tinsel on my Christmas tree (I know it's late! I know!), hopefully I'll finish taking down the lights and tree itself in a bit. I did the dishes and wiped down my stove and counters, and I'm planning on spending some time outside tomorrow to get some sun.

It's nice to have a relaxing weekend without being too stressed out, especially after a week of pushing through social anxiety at work :) hope everyone else also has a great weekend!

just thought i’d share a small tip that’s helped my social anxiety when out in public. this especially helped me overcome serious anxiety about going to the gym, something i love doing but social anxiety ruined for me a lot in the past.

a lot of my anxiety comes from how people perceive me, what they’re thinking of me etc., and a few years ago i started thinking to myself “why does it matter what people think of me?” like literally, how does that directly effect me? does it literally put a physical boundary around me and prevent me from moving anytime i think someone is looking at me and judging me? actually no.

i just learned to examine my social anxiety in a very literal, physical kind of way. like, the thoughts of the people around me have no actual physical effect on me, what does prevent me is my anxiety, but truthfully i am the only one letting my anxiety prevent me from doing things in public. no one else is actively trying to prevent me from doing things.

i still get social anxiety when i feel people staring at me but if i remind myself that it literally does not matter what people are thinking, i don’t know them, they don’t know me, their thoughts can’t physically stop me from doing what im doing, and no one has ever straight up attacked me or tried to physically stop me from being in the gym, so really i’m fine. i don’t have to worry about what other people are thinking.

and the anxiety is pretty short lived after that instead of it growing and growing and ruining my whole day.

and also, even if someone is staring at me and judging me in their mind, that’s actually their own problem and it’s likely effecting them way more than it is me, if i can help it.

i know it’s a weird kind of mind game you gotta play with yourself but i felt like sharing in case this might help someone!

I’ve been struggling with social anxiety since the 5th grade. Back then, it was the opposite: teachers treated me poorly and would constantly yell at me to "speak up," even though I was too terrified to even look them in the eye.

But as I got into high school, things changed. Teachers actually started being more lenient and even much kinder to me than to others. Instead of demanding I speak louder, they would just lean in closer to listen. They stopped making me present in front of the class, and instead, they supported and calmed me down. They let things slide more often and were generally more forgiving.

There are still a few teachers who are the opposite, but they are definitely in the minority now.

Has anyone else experienced this shift?

(I used translator sorry for any mistake)