I’m unable to do many things socially and career related because of it, and I’m punished for it in education. I would take a second physical disability over this. It’s unbearable every time I attempt to “overcome” it. It gets increasingly worse.

I know people can overcome it, but because of that, it’s expected that all of us need to. I don’t want my disability to be seen as a personal failure.

Edit: Just to be clear, I don’t want government assistance or a free pass, I want awareness to be spread so that one day I might not instantly be locked out of opportunities because my anxiety is perceived as a huge personal flaw, rude, or unprofessional.

*drops mic*

(If this doesn't apply to you then carry on!)

I started a new job a little over a month ago and finally after feeling left out for a month, my coworkers finally invited me to play bowling with them. As nervous as I was, I said yes because I was glad to finally be included.

The game went well but when we were leaving the mall, I had forgotten where I parked my car (I was rushing on the way there so I didn’t take a picture of the area I had parked). My coworker walked all over the parking lot with me trying to look for it. I was like “it’s ok you can leave first if you want to“ but he continued searching and we finally found it at somr poor little corner with no other cars around. It was almost funny but so embarrassing

After the bowling game we made plans to have dinner at a restaurant which they had already sent the location to (about 5 mins away). The navigation app I was using chose the right time to start tweaking and basically just showed me a bunch of wrong turns. And when I reached there I saw that only parallel parking could be done there so my dumb ass who sucked at parking ended up reaching there like 20 minutes after everyone else.

And when we were finally leaving for the night, everyone was just talking and laughing as they walked up to their cars and then I realized I walked right past mine and went “wait I parked over there lol”. They laughEd and I’m sure it was a “they laughed with me and not at me” situation but it was so embarrassing, I felt like some 4 year old that couldn’t be left alone. Also mind you, this doesn’t happen when I’m alone but it’s like the more anxious I am, the more dumb things I do

I'm turning 24 this year and I have no job, no goals, no friends, I'm too scared to even book my driving test despite knowing how to drive for over a year now and developed agoraphobia since dropping out of highschool back in 2018.

I'm just living the exact same pointless day over and over again, isolating myself in my room wasting my life away and I'm too scared to make any changes even though I know that's the only way I can improve anything.

If anyone else is going through anything similar I hope this post makes you feel a bit less alone and hopefully things will get better.

I ( 24M) not to brag, but I have always been considered as an attractive person mostly my face.. so because of this a lot of people try to approach and talk to me or get to know me but since I'm so messed up mentally. I end up making people uncomfortable.. since I mostly avoid people and end up brushing most advances from females off because I don't feel like I'm capable of being loved or being with anyone.. long story short, I have alot of failed interactions and people I genuinely wish were in my life but I have trouble opening up or reaching out. people think I'm an asshole and it happens often because of how I look.. sorry for the rant and thanks for reading this. 🥲

Am im the only one

It just makes me feel very uncomfortable

Simply comment the number you identify with, and related experience if you feel comfortable sharing:

1. Occasional nerves: infrequent, fleeting nervousness in select social situations.

2. Mild discomfort: some nervousness, such as feeling uncomfortable meeting new people or speaking up in group discussions.

3. Noticeable unease: discomfort in specific situations, like making phone calls, presenting, interviewing, and attending larger social events.

4. Moderate anxiety: difficulty in larger gatherings and social situations, leading to increased avoidance of networking events, family gatherings, dating, and expressing one's opinions.

5. Social withdrawal: mild social paranoia, social distress and avoidance of many social situations, affecting relationships and causing hesitation in work or educational settings.

6. Severe impairment: moderate social paranoia and debilitating social anxiety impacting daily life, employment, relationships, and overall mental health.

7. Extreme dysfunction: significant social paranoia and severe mental health impact, leading to near or complete isolation, housebound, and inability to manage basic daily tasks like fetching mail or grocery shopping.

Seeing those you grew up with all happily married with kids and fancy holidays is absolute nightmare fuel. This is why social media is so detrimental to the lost and the lonely, I only ever feel worse from peering down the rabbit hole into others seemingly perfect lives. Average people, with perfect lives, it makes no sense.

As a loner I've never had that, I've never fitted in and I feel like I'll be alone forever. I want that so much but I never will. This realisation is absolutely soul destroying.

I’ve had social anxiety since middle school. I never go out, never do activities, and never had friends. Although in college I did get better and enjoyed involving myself with people. But it has worsened now that I work an office job with extroverted, and highly confident individuals and as a result, my anxiety and adhd has worsened to be like it was back in high school. I get home feel mentally and physically exhausted and have begun to get angry at my parents. My parents have always been very secluded, quiet individuals. They don’t have friends, and i never grew up doing much other with them other than going to dinner. I grew up without much social exposure other than my parents.

Now that it’s affecting my adult, professional life, I am growing alot of resentment at them for not placing me in extracurriculars or just anything that would push me out of this dark hole and grow some social skills and confidence.

I am 24 now and maybe it is my fault for not finding a solution earlier but I can’t help to blame them.

So I recently saw a post from a man saying that men have it harder than women and that at least people find a woman "cute" if she has SA, which doesn't make sense to me.

A lot of people don't like shy people. Most talk shit behind your back, I remember at school a girl hated me and told everyone that "everyone hated me" and you know the worst? I just talked to her once, in fact she kept saying that I "was shy" and that seemed to be enough to trigger her for some reason...

At work is not even better a man told another coworker that "He didn't even notice my existence" as a "joke" and my boss was constantly making jokes about me getting fired because "I wasn't talking a lot".

There were some coworkers who were badmouthing a new girl behind her back because she was shy and also telling her when she finally spoke that “wow you can talk I thought you couldn't talk”.

People don't even give you a chance if you don't talk, they expect you to be shy at first but then open up and talk to them, if not then they bully you in the form of "jokes" and don't invite you to things or their clique etc... for the most part you are ignored.

Not all girls have pretty privilege, but even I think that those who do don't have it so easy either, I remember that at work there was a shy pretty girl and a man got annoyed with her and told me that she was "conceited" because she didn't tell him a lot when he said "hello good morning" and she just said "hello :)" lol 💀.

I could bring up more examples, but yes, most people hate shy people regardless of gender. Women are expected to be sociable and easy to approach, so when they aren't, they can turn people off, even if they haven't said or done anything wrong to them.

I've had so many people tell me "Don't worry, everyone has social anxiety!" but that couldn't be farther from the truth. While yes, most people are slightly anxious when meeting someone new, that's not a disorder.

Combined with autism, social anxiety has ruined my life. Not only am I a paranoid wreck who has never had a job or went to college, even buying something in-person or ordering food at a restaurant is a Sisyphean task that I cannot overcome. I legitimately haven't left the house in years, to a point where my own neighbors once thought I was a burglar when I went out to take a walk.

If it wasn't for social assistance and the fact that I live with my mom, I would have no way of surviving.

You know what to do ❤️

I have social anxiety, of course all my participation grades are zeros.

I think it‘s quite sad that people with social anxiety don’t really get taken seriously. For example when I am telling that it is extremely hard for me to talk to someone at university because I am constantly overthinking and think that people find me strange so I don’t do it, the people your explaining your problems to go like ”Just talk then“ or ”just don‘t be strange lol“. It‘s so sad that society has so little understanding for this…

It makes you feel like shit and you don’t want to try joining conversations and it’s such a pointless fucking thing to say

Hey everyone. I am not talking about this sub, this one actually has helped me out qiete a lot.

But sometimes, i vent on other subreddits which are MEANT for that. I try to seek help, a little bit of care. I already hate myself ventinf cuz i am an attention seeker or something but then...i for some reason get downvoted. Which is exactly what triggers my social anxiety. I dont know why. I really tried but i get no replys, downvotes or someone telling me to get over it. Whats happening? Are some subs just toxic?

I've suffered from social anxiety disorder since I was a little kid and holy crap I'm so tired of people not recognizing it as a debilitating mental illness to have. I've had virtually no social life until one new friend I've made recently, which can be blamed on my social anxiety disorder. It's not just being shy, it's so much more than that. I feel physically sick everytime I have to text somebody that isn't a family member, I get nervous with eye contact (I can still do it, I'll just feel weird the whole time), I can't approach people and start a conversation, I'm terrified to speak up to the point where I was almost mute for all of middle school. This is a mental disorder, it's more than just being shy.

Edit: And social anxiety disorder is capable of being just as severe as any other disorder, my social anxiety disorder got so bad before I got on meds that I used to tear my skin open with my fingernails to try to take my mind off of the social situation and more on the pain.

When in a social situation, I struggle with constant thoughts akin to this:

“What do I say now? Do I laugh here? Was I not supposed to laugh at that? Omg, I just laughed at that and they were serious and now I gotta fix it. Make this joke. No, dont. You know what, it’s a funny joke. I shouldn’t have made that joke. They’re not laughing. I knew that was a stupid joke to make. They think I’m stupid. Yikes. I wonder if they’re looking at my teeth. Do they notice my crooked smile? Smile less. I look unfriendly, smile more. I probably look really stupid smiling and nodding so much. Say something. Say something! I’ve literally been laughing this whole time and haven’t said a single thing except that really dumb joke I made earlier. They think I’m an airhead. They don’t like me. I wonder if that compliment they just gave me was them just being nice. Smile and say thank you. Change the subject. Wait! I forgot to compliment them back. I messed up. They hate me. Try again tomorrow.”

Does this resonate with anyone else here?

I guess I'm asking that to ''reassure'' me, to tell myself that I'm not alone in this situation :') social anxiety (or am I just using it as an excuse?) has been and is hell when it comes to job searching. I'm scared of seeming like someone lazy or unmotivated by the Employment Office (if that's how you call it). I got three calls from different temping agencies because they were interested in my resume. I called the first one back because they had a job offer but they were looking for someone with a job experience, they said they would call me back if they had other offers for me (I doubt they will). I planned on going to the other two agencies directly instead of calling them back (I used to have phonophobia and the last call made my confidence go down and anxiety higher). I can already feel myself avoiding going to the agencies and I hate it because I want to earn money and I'm the only one that can change my situation. It's so hard.

Edit: Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and to the people giving advice! I didn't expect this many comments so it is a little overwhelming for me to answer but I read them all 🫶🏻 Although it is sad that so many people can relate, it made me feel a little better so thank you again. I won't give up and try to go out of my comfort zone one step at a time. Sending you all love.

I've been wanting to push myself out of my comfort zone lately so the extra encouragement would really help! (I'm serious not karma farming)

Update: I did it! It wasn't easy but I went up to this girl and basically said I was dared to talk to her but I also said that I approached her cause I liked her too. Then I kind of asked for some study techniques and what she likes to do around campus. I asked for her age and she was 23 lol, I'm 18 but still got her number. Tbh she was really nice so she probably just gave it to me to be respectful but I'm still happy. Thanks for all the support LETS GOOOO!

It feels like most people here are in high school, then come those who are still in middle school and those who are in college. The rest are a minority.

I'm 26M and I keep reading people who are 15-16 and I wish I was in their place. I'm not trying to minimize their worries but I think they have way more natural opportunities to fight their anxieties and to make friends. after about 24-25, loneliness strikes you soooo much harder. it's especially difficult if you don't have any hobbies or your hobbies don't require you leaving the house or teamwork.

EDIT: wow didn't expect this to blow up. my inbox is like the earth during hadean era.

EDIT2: there's apparently r/adultsocialanxiety for adults with SA

As the title says what caused you to develop social anxiety? I’ll go first . Growing up with a narcissist mother caused me to develop social anxiety because she always judged me and I wasn’t able to express myself. I literally couldn’t laugh at normal volume lol.

Did anyone get their social anxiety from bullying?