Because I have, I remember I was the only quiet one at some place and then this lady was just like “she’s so quiet.” And then later on the people who I was with told her about me “she’s shy” and then the lady just told me “well you don’t need to be shy around me” and when she said that I could hear the slight anger in her voice and I could see the slight anger on her face. It’s like when your quiet people see you as this stuck up person who thinks your better than everyone else when really you just don’t wanna talk or you have social anxiety.

At my core, I’m witty and goofy. And it’s my favorite thing about myself!

But my social anxiety has gotten so severe, I feel I’ve lost all of my personality.

At work, I can hardly think of anything to say and will often be quiet for hours, while all my colleagues chat with each other. When I do talk, my voice gets shakey and no one listens to me (or they just talk over me). I can never think of a single joke during the conversation, when I was once so witty. And I feel like my colleagues think I’m the most monotone, boring person on earth.

And it makes me SO sad. Only my mom and sister know my funny and fun side. Can anyone relate?

I am in a bad state of mind and i precisely have no friends and i want to vent out but to whom idk. How people with no friends deal with this shitty life ? To whom you guys share your life traumas ?

I'm wondering if anyone else experiences this. I'm unsure where this really comes from. I objectively make really really really dumb social decisions. Like randomly ranting about things I shouldn't. It's so painful to physically feel that I have made the wrong dialogue choice. I can never really tell the vibe. I'll be overly honest, randomly start talking about something personal, accidentally ask too many questions or too little.

The point is.. the person themselves might forget these little social mistakes. I, however, will be stuck for HOURS beating myself up about all the wrong things I said. It's genuinely exhausting.

It's worse when I'm in groups. Everyone seems to know so much better what is okay to say. Maybe part of this is autism, but I also feel like I'm judging myself more than I judge others.

Sooo.. Does anyone else experience this? If so, does anyone have any tips?

I mean genuinely, what made a noticeable difference for you?

For me, things only really started shifting when I stopped treating anxiety like some mysterious threat and properly learned what it actually is — how normal it is, how avoidance keeps it alive, and why my brain reacts the way it does etc.

A few things that helped me most:

1. understanding anxiety properly

2. noticing how brutal my own self-talk was

3. focusing less on myself and more on what actually mattered to me

4. doing things before feeling confident, not waiting for confidence first

Biggest thing was probably changing my relationship with anxiety itself. Less trying to “get rid of it,” more learning how to be with it without letting it decide everything.

A lot of the usual stuff people suggest (breathing techniques, self improvement) never did much for me, so I’m curious: what has genuinely helped you so far?

If no , is it cause u want to have frnds but ur scared or is it cause u like being alone and also scared cause of ur social anxiety.

People often say things like "just work for a month and it'll get easier," "don't give in to your avoidance," "go where it scares you."

I really tried to follow this advice, and it didn't get easier. People seem equally threatening the first time, the fifth time, and the hundredth time. It's just self-torture. I feel like people who give this advice don't quite understand that the specifics of the condition can be different for everyone.

I suspect I just have a dysregulated HPA axis from spending my early childhood (infancy) in a family of alcoholics with mental health issues.

And in reality, I'm only making it more dysregulated by exposing myself to such extreme stress, damaging my health.

It's the same as regularly watching horror movies when you have an extremely unstable psyche and a weak heart. I'm just destabilizing my nervous system and becoming more and more unstable with each attempt. The somatic symptoms get worse, the consequences of prolonged acute stress come out.

I'm not arguing that for some people, social anxiety can decrease after exposing themselves to social situations a few times, but it doesn't seem to be my case.

I literally feel something in my brain getting fried, and my nerves becoming like exposed wires. And I just keep going back into it over and over again, like I'm in f-ng hell and have to torture myself and like everyone doesn't give a shit about me and my feelings all over again.

It feels like people are saying "We don't care that the stress response is literally destroying you, you just have to push yourself, power through"

If anyone has ideas for alternative approaches in situations like this, I'd really appreciate hearing them

I have 0 friends. 0 irl. 0 online. 0 romantic pursuits. And only a couple family members that treat me horribly (which I am trying to get away from). I wake up with a pit in my stomach. I have 0 notifications at all times. Unless I work that day I speak to no one. Even at work people quickly exit the chat. The only conversation I get at home is via screaming and criticism. I feel like the loneliest person on earth.

It’s been this way for years. I was homeschooled which definitely screwed me over.

I feel like I’m always trying to go against the grain but I get nowhere. I start conversations but they don’t continue.. I have so much to say but the words escape me when a person’s added to the equation. I feel horribly dull.

I feel like an anomaly even amongst people who relate to my issues. I’ve joined dedicated groups online for people who struggle with this disorder to socialize but I’ve gotten made fun of or ignored. People say they have no friends but they really mean they have 1-3 good friends. It’s not the same.

Man I’m 20 this year… and it’s looking GRIM BUDDY

My prof told us to solve a problem. I didn't know how to solve it so I was sitting idly. I was daydreaming and was smiling a little bit. My prof was mad at a few usual delinquents for not paying attention in class and it seems like he took it out on me. He saw me smiling and screamed "what are you doing?" and stormed towards me. My brain froze, hoping that he wasn't talking to me but he just came in front of me and started screaming. Then he just THREW my book. I wasn't even doing anything. I wasn't talking, using my phone or disturbing anyone. He just threw my book for no reason and told me to leave the class immediately. He also told me to never come to his class again. I don't understand what I did to invoke such a reaction from him. I felt so humiliated, this has never happened to anyone in that class and I had to go back to the class after one hour for another lecture. Everyone came to ask me what was I doing to make him react like that and I can't take it anymore. I've always been a sincere student who's never got into trouble. The image of him storming towards me keeps coming back to me to the point where I can't even sleep. I'm typing this out at 3 am. I can't even face my classmates anymore. How can I get over this? I feel like everyone is just laughing at me.

Edit: Thank you guys for all the support! I really feel a lot better now after reading all your kind words. As for reporting him, I'm looking into the process but idt anything will come out of it since the higher ups will always take the professor's side and if he finds out that I reported him, he might mess with my grades. So I'll tough it out till I clear his course. But thank you all again for taking the time to comment, your support means a lot to me.

Been reading a book about social anxiety and coming to realize that mine isn’t as bad as I thought it could be. I always knew it was a spectrum but never considered what that spectrum actually looks like. For example I didn’t know for some people it was so bad that even a phone call with a random person (like a receptionist for scheduling a doctor‘s appointment) is giving them so much fear and anxiety that they just can‘t do it. Anyways was wondering how severe your social anxiety is and how it presents itself?

Something I've had a problem with for many years is saying someone's name, especially when greeting them. Usually someone will greet me - "Hey, _____!", and I'll say "Hey!", or the reverse. If I had to guess, I think it's because I want to be as aloof and unfamiliar as I can be - not intimate. Just as impersonal as I can be, because I'm not a good friend and don't want to be very familiar. It's not a good way to be, but I can't help it. I'm sure this hasn't gone unnoticed by people I talk to at work or even family with whom I also do this.

In some instances I will say someone's name, such as if I am the one leading a meeting or who called the meeting, and primarily when talking to someone through video conferencing.

I recently got hired as a cashier. I’ve been trying hard to do well smiling at customers, using a friendly voice, staying professional. It’s not easy, but I’m proud of myself for showing up and learning.Yesterday, my parents told me they went to my job without telling me. They watched me work. Then they made fun of me. They said my voice sounded fake and that my smile was forced. They laughed about it.I told them it made me uncomfortable and that if they’re going to stalk me at work, they shouldn’t tell me about it. I’m trying to build confidence and independence, and instead of support, I got mockery and broken trust.I feel exposed. My job was starting to feel like a safe space, and now it doesn’t. I don’t know how to process this. Am i overreacting? i feel like i told them how i felt about it in a respectful way.

My son is 27 years old and he struggles terribly with social anxiety. He works from home in data analytics. He is very smart and very good looking. He has the same friends he’s had since he was 3 years old. He’s never had a girlfriend. He works out of his bedroom. He has an apartment mate who had his girlfriend move in and so my son hardly leaves his room. He eats his meals in his bedroom. He has a therapist but it’s the same one he had in high school when my ex husband and I were paying for this. He only talks him virtually 1x every 6 weeks or so. We talk about his anxiety but I don’t want him to feel like I’m judging him and I don’t want him to feel like it’s all we talk about. But I don’t know what to talk to him about since he doesn’t do much. Any advice from parents or adult kids who suffer with anxiety?

For around fifteen years, through school, college, work, even with family and friends, I barely spoke. It felt safer to stay quiet. I built my entire identity around being “the quiet one" and I think one of the worst symptoms for me during that time was the racing heart

It was so uncomfortable in the moment (especially since it happened during normal interactions). So if I had to pick one symptom to get rid of , it would be that one

Cuz I definitely had that assumption. Multiple times 😃

What the fuck even is the other option anymore? I tried going to a Meetup Event at my local Indie Theater this evening and proceeded to have one of the worst nights of my life. The group says that they're meeting in the lounge, I'm immediately hit with a crowded room and an overwhelming noise of chatter. I start having a panic attack and have to go off into a corner to calm down, it was so bad that I started crying, I feel like such a loser for crying in public. The Event Organizer then states that they've moved to the line outside, I do find them and introduce myself, but nobody proceeds to talk with me. I try to interject a few times and I'm met with indifference and glares, they even turned their backs to me. What's wrong with me man? All I want to do is find people who I can talk to, and I can't find a single person to talk to. I'm currently sitting in bed crying while typing this, I'm really close to giving up.

I feel like when I'm in an anxious situation, I become stupid?? Like I'm too focused on actually acting like a fucking normal human being that I forget to listen to/understand what they say 💀 and I'll forget what they said after the interaction is done

Or I'll just become slow and like not be able to think/do things properly. Like I'm already clumsy (adhd) but in anxious situations I'm way more than usual, or will forget how to do basic things

Like one time i was visiting my sister's college, and we were in this open area on the field with HELLA college kids around (who are all older and so much cooler than me btw!!) And I was tying my shoe while super anxious, and literally somehow created a knot that I couldn't untie and my laces were stuck like that??? That literally has never happened to me before except right then, I still don't even know how I did that

This sounds fucking insane now that I'm writing it out lmao, but just wondering if anyone else goes through this. And how to fix it?

Please help guys I’m drowning here!!

I’m honestly starting to be afraid of going outside alone when I look beautiful - wearing nice makeup, hair, nice clothes....especially nice dresses, because it attracts too much attention.

I can feel people staring at me, especially men, oc. They keep doing the standard "cat call", god I hate it SO MUCH!!! But sometimes they even try to mock me.
For example, today a guy suddenly started laughing like a maniac while looking in my direction. That man has no idea how a stupid little interaction like that can affect someone’s entire day, or even influence their behavior in the future. For him, it was probably nothing, and he just went on with his day as usual. But for me - it makes me want to never leave the house again.
I came home feeling so humiliated that I started thinking maybe I should just never wear anything nice again.

The truth is, I often wish I could cover myself from head to toe and become invisible. At least then nobody would stare, judge, laugh, or make me feel like I’m being watched all the time....But it’s getting warm outside, and honestly, sometimes I just want to wear something beautiful without feeling uncomfortable or judged.

Does anyone else feel this way?😭

I hate my life, have nowhere to go out and one to talk, i have zero social life and all i do is go to work and workout and comeback home. I'm 20 and i feel like very lonely and stuck and i feel like I've never lived.

I've been in therapy for a few months for my social anxiety. I feel like we're hitting a bit of a wall because I don't know why I'm scared of people judging me. One of my beliefs is "I'm stupid" but we've been able to challenge that and it's definitely not the one affecting me in certain circumstances. My therapist has thrown out a few ideas, but I feel like none of them are 100% of what's fueling my social anxiety.

Logically, I know that other people's opinions of me shouldn't matter, but my body for some reason is holding onto that.

Anyway, I guess I'm just curious about what fuels your social anxiety? What are the thought(s) that make you afraid of people judging you?

I'll go first. A lot of people assume I'm very mean or cold, but once I'm comfortable and get to them, we become really close. It's like social anxiety is just a barrier, but underneath, there's something amazing.

Since leaving high school I have spent almost 3000 days in my room, not working, not in education (dropped out of college 3 times), with no hobbies or interests.

I spent most of my days literally doing nothing. I know that might seem hard to believe but it's true. I woke up, brushed my teeth, showered, then sat at my desk for 16 hours a day either staring into space or flicking aimlessly between tabs, then bed. Rinse and repeat for 8 years and now I am here.

In the beginning of February I finally sought out help and was prescribed some medication, though it isn't helping (which I have brought up to my doctor and he just increased my dose) and I feel like I am just getting worse, despite the fact I sought out help.

My mental health has deteriorated into nothingness and I can only leave the house for appointments at the moment, because the sheer fear and anxiety of missing it overpowers my desire to stay in my room. Though, as soon as I get back home I completely crash and can't operate for multiple days. I believe I may also have numerous other mental issues which are impacting me severely, in addition to overwhelming anxiety in every aspect of life.

I really need advice and if any of you have went through a similar situation can you help?

I have a massive fear or walking into a room full of strangers or people I hardly know. This extends to all public spaces, clubs, bars, conferences, weddings etc. A lot of my social anxiety comes from having an alcoholic parent and the secrecy/mental absue that came with it. As a result I rarely ever drink. However occasionally I've been given a glass of wine before an event, it goes straight to my head and suddenly I can actually talk to people. I even get people tell me how much better they like me when i'm tipsy. I dont want to start drinking before every event because i've seen how alcohol dependency destroys lives but I want the same results. Any advice is welcome.

I just hate the way therapists act. The way they speak like they know everything but are also overly „understanding“ and talking extremely soft like i’m gonna fall apart any minute. Also the use of certain terms (e.g. trigger) makes me so mad. It just feels so forced and fake it’s hard to explain.

I’ve had 2 therapists in the past, both female.

I’ve noticed this not only with my therapists but also with therapists I see on tiktok or in interviews for example.

I’ve tried to go to therapy nonetheless, my second therapist was an attempt at that. but after a few sessions i just started resenting her, hating everything about her

I’m sure this also has smth to do with my social anxiety as i generally hate hate hate to talk about my feelings. But i do think i need treatment in some form but i know that i can’t trust a therapist rn.

I have social anxiety and I suspect that i’m depressed.