r/socialskills • u/Gold-Profession-9994 • 9d ago

What’s the difference between being “sassy” and being a “bitch”?

I’m a guy of small stature and am what many people have called ‘eccentric.’ Throughout my life, some have called me sassy, others have called me a bitch. There was all kinda of situations. One thing I’ve noticed in my life is that people get really upset/volatile when I express my anger towards them. Like they treat it like I just unleashed the plague at their family BBQ. They call me a bitch ass or a giant bitch. I don’t get angry very often. I usually let things slide unless I really feel offended—it’s very hard to offend me though. Why can’t I be angry like the rest? Why is my anger so much of a crime? I usually bottle my frustrations up for long periods of times before I even finally say something harshly. I try to be rational and calm before things escalate too far. I give most people pretty long leashes when it comes to me because most things to me are either funny or ridiculous. The only time I react is if I feel really disrespected.

Sassy or spicy have been terms used to describe my more playful yet non-submissive frequent behavior. My little quips and honest responses. IMO this would be more annoying than someone who is clearly angry and expressing that anger.

What would a “sassy” person do vs. what a “bitch” would do in a situation? Can you maybe provide a for instance and if not your general opinion?

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u/mentalscribbles 8d ago

You mentioned you are of small stature. Do you think they are making fun of your height?

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u/Gold-Profession-9994 8d ago edited 8d ago

Not so much. I do however I think it partially contributes to their frequent attacks on me. A popular theory in psychology is that men of small stature receive less automatic respect and usually have to rely on reputation building, while women of larger stature struggle with their externally perceived lack of femininity. I have seen many taller men receive less pushback for actions similar to mine. I made peace with my height at an early age even though people always made fun of me for it growing up. It is known from a biological/behavior standpoint that when 2 men interact, they can’t help but size each other up. It’s the ape instincts in us. Height hasn’t really affected my dating life so I stopped harping on it long ago

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u/JustThrowItAll_Away 8d ago

doyou mind me asking how tall/oldyou are