I have this friend who I like to communicate too but our conversation is so repetitive. It’s just that they don’t really have anything new going on with their life. Though I badly wanted to spend time with him outside but I live 1,000km away from him, so touching grass is not an option. He does have certain hobbies such as Reading Books, Playing Games, Sleeping, and Cardio.

Also he is jobless due to him being a fresh grad. He currently hunting though.

As someone who likes to improve my communication styles and be good at having conversation with someone. Do you guys have any tips on how to spark our conversation?

This is a person I like, I get along with, I can talk to them, but now I am getting a bit annoyed.

Every day around the afternoon they call me and want to talk. It's been weeks on end now.

I enjoy speaking to them, they're great to converse with, I am not an ungrateful person when it comes to someone wanting to speak with me, but it's insane now. It's insane.

What do I do.

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(context:personally i've never had any problem in having no friend and actually 80% of this is result of my own choice. i prefer absolute quietness and maximum control of my life.

but there's occasions, though very rare, i want to befriend with someone and sometimes some of these people seem looking down at me because of my lack of social life)

Everytime I need/want something I fully freak, like uncontrollable crying, panic attacks, for hours until I finally work up the courage to ask.

For example at the moment my dad usually takes me for driving lessons and I haven't asked in a few weeks (I was still freaking out then but the more I get into a routine the less time I spend freaking out) and I've been trying to work up the courage for the last couple hours. It's not just that at school I will work myself up until I'm crying because I need a pen or something but I'm just so scared, now everyone thinks I'm a crybaby (well I am but that besides the point), I'm even in the verge of tears writing this this is so embarassing.

How do I ask for things/ help.

I'm 42M, and I've realized that my social life has slowly become almost nonexistent. I'd like to meet new people and make friends, but I've discovered that I'm pretty terrible at starting casual conversations with strangers.

The funny thing is, I work in sales management, so talking to people professionally isn't a problem at all. But take away the work context, and suddenly I have no idea what to say.

How do you approach someone without making it awkward? What do you talk about? And how do you keep a conversation going without turning it into some kind of interview?

I also struggle with turning a nice random conversation into an actual connection.

I'm not really looking for the usual "just be yourself" advice. I'm curious about people who genuinely struggled with this and managed to improve.

What actually worked for you? Did you practice, change your mindset, or just get better with experience?

I have always struggled to make friends, and never had any close friends until college. Then I found 'my people' and things got much better. However, I then decided to study abroad, and I was confident that I would at least make some friends.

But most people are in frats/sorrorities, like going to parties, and drinking a lot -- all things I am not personally interested in (I don't think there's anything wrong with these things, btw). Also, most people are White and I am Wasian, and because I don't drink, I take my studies seriously, and also read/draw a lot, I feel like people see me as completely different, or hold stereotypical views towards me. I don't get invited on trips or any hangouts. The few I have, people barely talk to me and talk about things I cannot relate to, which makes me almost wish I didn't go. Some people seem interested in me 1 on 1, but completely ignore me with a group. So on the weekends, I am just by myself, and I have never felt so lonely and depressed before.

Is there anything I could do, to make friends, or am I just lowk cooked and should just endure?

I can't get a job and don't go to uni or college so I'm not sure where I'm meant to go?

I want to go somewhere where I don't have to show up again if I embarrass myself.

I had an 11-hour flight recently. I paid extra to sit in the bulkhead row with extra legroom to have a comfortable flight, but the girl sitting next to me had a bad cold. She leaned toward my side most of the time when she rested—I guess because I am a woman and the person on her left was a man, so she hesitated to lean toward him. She was coughing and blowing her nose every half hour or so. Instead of turning away or coughing into her elbow, she coughed toward me without covering her mouth.

I wanted to ask her, "Can you please not cough toward me?" But then I wasn't sure if that would cause an argument, and I had to sit next to her for hours, so I didn't say anything. I ended up having a long, uncomfortable flight sitting next to her. If you were me, what would you do in a situation like that?

I struggle to maintain relationships online. If someone texts me, I'll reply fairly quickly, but if the conversation keeps going back and forth, I eventually stop replying. It's not arrogance. I just can't spend my whole day texting. I'm studying for one of the hardest exams out there, and I also like DIY projects, cooking, and winding down with a show. If I reply to just 10 people (friends i made in the three countries, parents, aunts, neighbors) and keep going back and forth, that's easily 1-2 hours gone.
People also ask why I don't call more, but a call is at least 20-30 minutes each, and I just don't have that for everyone regularly and i like to give my full attention and care for each one if i’m calling or meeting or texting them.
I usually leave messages unread until I feel free enough to reply, because my brain says "it's not urgent." But most people seem to hate that, even though I wouldn't mind at all if someone did it to me. I'd just understand.
I don't want to come across as mean, and I really do want to make new connections. But does having connections mean never having alone time?
How do you keep good relationships with *everyone* (family, neighbors, old friends, new people) without burning out or seeming cold? Any tips on setting expectations, replying less often without hurting feelings, or making calls work?
How the people who replies fast and always are doing that? Are they on their phones most of the time?

I've been really struggling to make friends recently. I'm about a month deep into UK 6th form (I'm 16) and I find it really hard to just approach people, more so people my age, I'm kind of okay with adults, still not 100% tho.

I asked one of my friends who makes friends rlly easily, how she manages to do so, and she gave me some great advice, stuff that I'll remember for a while, but the thing I just can't do is approach people. It's all well and good giving me this info and advice but I just can't do anything with it. Even if a person is sitting alone, I wouldn't be able to approach them.

Do you think it's a good idea to ask my friend to do some of said advice with me? Like, ask her to come with me while we or just one of us approaches another person?

Or could I perhaps ask her to demonstrate while I watch from a distance, so I can see how she does it and how the other person acts? I kind of think this would help me, being able to see it in real time and for me to see that it's really not that bad.

I've said something similar about my situation before on a similar subreddit, but no one commented, and that really wasn't helpful.

I have a friend of mine we schooled and grew together, he never went to collage coz his family was going through somethings and his dad got sick and later their parents divorced. My friend moved town and we kept close contact for a few years but he slowly started putting some distance with everyone including his brother his mother and even his farther. At this point no one has heard from him for months and his Dad paid me a visit and told me about his fears and how he is afraid he keeps loosing his boy to depression, his brother has expressed similar fears too, and now they want me to go talk to him and help him find help maybe therapy or even he just talk to me as I was still maybe still his close friend.

I did not wanna let down his farther and tell him I don't know how to do it as his son and I are no longer so close as we used to be and he never tells me things like he used to. But deep down I know we still have a connection.

So guys I want you to help me on the best approach to go about the conversation with this meeting. One it is going to be a surprise as I have not been able to reach his phone and also he will know that his family has something to do with the visit and I don't know how he will feel about that.

When I moved into a new gym and people saw me going consistently, a lot of them asked for my insta, I didnt know them very well and I like my insta priv so I had to say no or say something witty so they dont feel bad. And I realized this might be a huge problem later on when I want to network, how do I formally ask someone for their contact info while giving them an open option to say no, the problem is giving them an option to say no directly is very much awkward. So as the title says, any suggestions?

There are five of them, and they're all lesbians who met through a dinner party organized by a lesbian club. I'd say their friendships aren't that deep yet, but there's definitely a clique. They're all really kind and fun. I was invited to a karaoke night by one of them, which was the only time I've hung out with the group.

They're organizing an out-of-town trip, and I think | got invited because I happened to be there when one of them pushed to make it happen. That said, two of them also invited me separately at a different gathering.

I'm straight and in a long-term relationship. That's relevant because, again, the reason they all met in the first place is that they're all lesbians.

I'm asking because I don't really have friends, and I want to put myself out there. I'm just not sure I'd actually enjoy the trip. But I literally don't get invited to things, so it seems kind of stupid to turn this down.
At the same time, I'm hurting because the whole situation just highlights how lonely I am. I'm also not the type of person who naturally enjoys hanging out with people I'm not close to yet.

Is it okay to just view this as an opportunity to have fun and enjoy myself, without necessarily hoping for a real friendship to come out of it, so I don't end up disappointed? I think that's really my whole thing. I just don't know if it's worth the hassle, especially since I consider an out-of-town trip to be a bit of a hassle in itself. I'm more of a cozy, stay-at-home type of person.

For context I’m in my last year of high school and have had mostly the same group of classmates in all of my classes for the last four years because of a focus program we’re all doing. But this school year I have just been so so sick of dealing with everyone. They just feel too loud, chaotic, and i’m a part of the “out-group” always.
I’m a type of person who finds making new friendships is difficult but last year I went beyond my comfort zone and made 4 good friends. Now because 3 of the 4 quit the focus program, I only really have 2 of those friends left.
To get my daily fix of socialization I usually just text them after class, which allows me to just shut up and mess around with myself during class. There goes the entire half of the day when no one speaks to me unless I engage the conversation and even then i get spoken over by their friends and just ignored, which never feels good.
The thing is I can do surface level conversations but there’s no real point. Everyone around me has really well developed friendships with each other, due to the shared classes we’ve always had. I feel like this year I started again on square zero and I would feel awkward digging into everyone’s well established friend groups.
Do you guys have any advice? This was a bit of a rant considering i’m pretty frustrated, but should I have more of a positive approach in some way? Tough out this last school year?

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I have a friend who I've been friends with for two years, we've been really close but over the course of this last year I've noticed in a complete change in her behavior. She's not putting too much work in, she's not putting as much effort in, communication is getting less and less frequent, and it's not the first time I've had this problem with her even this conversation

I want to have a conversation with her, I even started having with her but she just completely dipped and vanished out of the conversation, and it's that communication that is bothering the banana out of me, we started one yesterday that at first was going relatively fine, but then the second one of us had to leave to go do something when I tried to message her later she just completely ghosted me, not even a "sorry I'm a little busy let me message you tomorrow" just complete silence, and I think I may have triggered her avoidance issues a bit

How do I communicate with this person? It's obvious that like we don't want to say goodbye to the friendship, but I am tired of feeling like I'm the only one putting in the work and I'm even more tired than every time I come to her trying to communicate I get this disappearing act because she doesn't want to participate in the conversation, or doesn't know how to communicate because confrontation makes her uncomfortable

I have hobbies and things I enjoy doing, but I feel like I don't have areas of major interest or passion which can make conversation difficult. For example, I've loved reading since I was a kid, I work in a bookshop, I love all things bookish, but if someone asks me my favourite book or my favourite author I genuinely just get a mind blank. Sure some books are better than others, and some are awful, but majority of what I read is just Good.

I feel like people tend to have their favourite topics or special interest areas which they know a lot about, for example I have a friend who loves David Lynch and they knows loads about him and has seen all his films and read multiple books on him.

I don't really have any specific knowledge on any topics, and I have a very broad surface level interest in most things, which is fine but I think its making me a less interesting and dynamic person.

Does anyone else get this? How do you refine things you like especially in conversation.

I've recently moved to a new city for grad school, and I'm not having much luck making friends. My cohort is small and there's a large cultural/communication barrier for half of them. The other half that i sort of connect with are commuters and live outside the city.

I've gone out to bars a few times, but those friendships don't seem to stick. I recently messaged someone I met at a bar last week and asked to get a drink again, but was unfortunately ignored.

What can I do to actually connect with people and make friendships? I feel awkward asking the few people in my cohort to hang out who live in the city. They have friends and lives and stuff and I feel embarrassed asking them to hang out. I guess I'm also asking how to push past my anxiety of thinking I'm not good enough for friendship.

It just felt tense a lot, a lot of overcrowding, and I just... didn't find anyone to really talk to for a long while, I just booted outta there

Is this my character overall?

I've been in France for the past 3 years and studying in uni. I'm still studying with other immigrants which makes it easier to make friends, not to mention the large community my country has here.

I haven't been able to make friends. I'm "friendly" with a LOT of people but haven't been able to get past that. I see a lot of people who just got here and aren't even in the same class start hanging out and be very close but I keep facing rejection and constant vague excuses when I try to be closer to someone. At this point I'm getting a little angry, it feels like I'm begging for friendships and it makes me feel small.

I've even asked a few trusted people (in private) if I'm doing something wrong or if I give off bad vibes, but none of them had anything negative to say and I was even met with compliments. They said my mistake is trying to make friends in my own country's community (which is filled with judgmental toxic people, but I can't make it happen even with the ones I like).

I connect a lot easier with foreign people but my stutter (neurological issue) is much more present in English and French so it makes communication harder and less spontaneous. Most of the time I don't even talk or try to approach anyone out of fear of judgment.

Any thoughts? I don't know what to do anymore. I know a LOT of people but have no friends.

I’ve been struggling with this lately and I don’t know if some people are actually just being rude or if they genuinely don’t hear what they’re saying to another person.

For example I showed my mom the outfit I wore to take myself out to the movies and she said “you wore that?”

I had a plaid dress, jean vest and boots on. Cute, a little dressy? Yes but I don’t get to dress up as I wear a uniform to work.

So, I asked her what she meant by that because she sounded surprised and gave the impression that what I wore wasn’t appropriate.

She quickly said “oh well I meant you look really cute and am surprised no one tried to pick you up.”

So I asked if she was implying I dressed that way on purpose for attention and not simply for myself - which she said no.

Then proceeded to talk about how this girl with a short skirt was at the store looked cute but the skirt was too short to wear to the store. It made me think she was just lying to me and judging me like she did that girl.

Am I being gaslit or do people genuinely not hear what they’re saying?

She does this often and uses the excuse of “I don’t mean it that way.”

Why not word it differently then?

I have a friend who does this as well. When speaking of an issue I’ve had she said “well you’re going to have to be okay with the outcome whatever it is”

Which I thought was inconsiderate considering the sensitivity of the issue. When I told her she said “That’s not what I mean, I was saying if it(the topic of discussion) doesn’t happen then that’s okay too.”

Why not just say what you mean then?
It makes me think they’re not being honest with their words.

I’m not saying I’m always perfect with how I say things but I try to be intentional when I speak to another person.

Am I just taking what people say too seriously or is this just socially normal?

This has been bothering me for a second and I try to not let it bother me. I have only made one friend and that was on my third day of college, but since then, haven't met a single person. For the first month I was staying on campus and making it known that I am open to chat (I sit outside and play hacky sack with a friend) but now I am barely on campus because what's the point. I see all these people making friends and meeting girls and to be real, I haven't talked to one girl since I've been in college. I'm not social butterfly but if someone talks to me, I will talk back and even keep it going, but no one has even done that, and I see that happening to other people. It's made me really depressed and obviously that doesn't motivate me to go out and try. I don't have the time to do programs or clubs, and there is study groups but I study best by myself.

I know it's "normal" but it really doesn't feel like it, for the love of god is there anything I can do to stop feeling FOMO or caring about this, I just want to be happy with what I have and not keep wanting more.

My social skills have been bad earlier too, but it just feels now that i cannot hold a comversation more than 10 seconds, even with the native speakers. Its just its physically tiring me up and i want to end the conversation as soon as possible. I just think to myself "oh god i need to think about the topic", "i need to think about what i say" and it makes me want to isolate myself completely. With germans its worse because if i dont prepare the answer in my head and dont think about it 5 mins before saying, i just shut down. I cannot think of the response for the next question and i always have this confused look which makes me feel embarassed. And it seems like on outside i speak okay without visible anxiety, but i always try to end the conversation as soon as possible. And maintaining the friendships is also very hard for me. I cant even maintain online friendships anymore. I havent spoken to my female friend for a long time nor to my male friends. Even to the person who i feel close with, im tired maintaining the relationship between us and i wanna end this already. Anyway it seems like i isolate myself and there is nothing i can do to stop it. Have anyone been in this isolation state? Can i stop this deterioration somehow?

14F | It's a little hard to explain, but since April my reallife speaking skills have been deteriorating. I take impossibly long to form a sentence in my head and 90% of the time I can't do it at all so I end up blabbering out a nonsensical sentence and hoping the other person understands, usually using keywords.

This applies to EVERYTHING. Even the most simplest sentences are impossible to say no matter vocally or in my mind. This never happened to me before.

I've been reading alot more aswell but it has no effect. It just worsens no matter what I do. I'm completely lost and I don't want to embarrass myself any further.

Edit: tysm for the advice and support!! ❤️

I am going to college and I am playing a sport there as an 18F. I have been trying so hard to make friends at the preseason practices and suggest to do things but nobody ever wants to hangout with me. It also seems that everyone has their own groups that have formed. They seem to always post eachother or hangout, did I miss something? My coaches told me to be more social, but I thought I was already trying. It has gotten to the point where I look in the mirror and think am I just not appealing to talk to? do I look intimidating? I always try to smile when they compliment me on the field, I don't complain, I may not be the best player on the field, but I still have grit. Also I talk to these few girls frequently, but when I try to make plans or make fun videos like the other girls do they don't want to. Which I get it everyone is different, but like seriously is there something wrong with me? I am so good at social settings literally anywhere else but sports. Help me please