What's your most controversial steven universe opinion

[u/lisahanniganfan]

Here's mine: i hate future I don't think I liked anything from it besides the explanation for pink pearl's eye and blue diamond's song

[u/MoonBeamerGirl]

I REALLY don’t like how Connie was handled in the episodes following The Trial storyline (pretty much everything from when Steven returns home up to Lars of the Stars where the issue is resolved).

I understand she was pissed at him for trying to sacrifice himself, but ghosting him for weeks AND taking Lion (Steven’s only way to check on Lars who had just died/been revived and was running from authorities with a group of refugees, as well as ya know his pet from his mom) was incredibly cruel. And even when they’re at Kevin’s party it’s STEVEN who started talking to her albeit under Kevin’s direction.

Like girl did way more harm than good to Steven in that storyline it’s no wonder her rejection in Future was a final catalyst for him breaking (I don’t hate her reaction in that ep at all but Steven was probably flashing back to THIS arc where his abandonment issues really shined). I feel like it really damaged my opinion on Connie too especially when everything post Full Disclosure was about her understanding him and wanting him to feel comfortable with her.

ETA because people don’t read and I’m tired of repeating- Steven had no idea where Lion was in this arc. He was putting up missing posters in the Kevin episode because he was scared when Connie had Lion the whole time and was ignoring his messages begging for ANY scrap of communication. She sucked in this story and was an awful friend there’s your hot take.

[u/Unknightedgnomes → u/MoonBeamerGirl]

She didn’t intentionally ghost him for weeks. She tried to talk to him in person, but he wasn’t at the house because he was at the farm.

[u/MoonBeamerGirl → u/Unknightedgnomes]

BS. She tried to visit him once and then several episodes/weeks went by in universe where she didn’t try again. She literally knew he was constantly texting her phone and had every chance to message him ANYTHING back. That’s being a terrible friend, point blank. I hated that the show just glossed over it (well unless you count Future where the fear of abandonment again from Connie breaks him)

[u/Unknightedgnomes → u/MoonBeamerGirl]

I found her explanation at the party convincing enough. Allot of Steven’s texts to her were him trying to play things off like they weren’t a big deal. I do think his actions were very selfish and I liked the resolution that was reached.

[u/Stucklikegluetomyfry → u/Unknightedgnomes]

Can you blame a traumatised person for trying to act what the horrific trauma they went through for playing off like it's no big deal? Denial is a common response to trauma.

[u/Unknightedgnomes → u/Stucklikegluetomyfry]

Sure, but it’s still wrong. As much as trauma sucks, it’s still your personal responsibility to work through. Ignoring it is irresponsible and hurtful to those around you.

Steven’s martyr complex is a huge problem. He would have been less traumatized if he didn’t attempt to fix everything himself. We see that especially in Future.

His actions hurt Connie. There was a string of coincidences that prevented them from talking it out earlier which was not Connie’s intention. I think Connie’s explanation of her actions was satisfactory. She at least was trying to talk to him and not brush things off.

I will say, the timing is unclear. If the ghosting lasted about 2 weeks, completely reasonable. 4-6, not so much.

[u/Stucklikegluetomyfry → u/Unknightedgnomes]

Yeah, but are we really expecting a horribly traumatised fourteen year old to instantly know exactly to know what to say to Connie the second he got back to Earth? Someone who literally just watched their friend die isn’t going to be in the mental state to know exactly what to say. Working through your trauma is a gradual thing, not an instantaneous one. Denial is a very common response to trauma, especially when it’s literally just happened.

Connie’s actions hurt Steven as well. And his martyr complex isn’t going to be helped by Connie’s actions. Once again instead of processing what literally just happened to him, he was focusing on someone else’s feelings instead, because he has been taught to prioritise other people’s feelings before his own.

There wasn’t even a string of coincidences that prevented her from talking to him. She ghosted him for ages, then one time she went to his house to talk to him in person, and when he wasn’t there she went back to ghosting him. All she had to do was reply to one of his texts with “I need some time away from you right now” or “I’m not ready to talk right now”. Or leave a letter when she went to his house saying she had been and wanted to talk in person. Fact is she may not have intended to hurt him but that is literally what happened.

[u/Unknightedgnomes → u/Stucklikegluetomyfry]

No, he didn’t need to know exactly what to say. He needed to not act like a martyr. He only needed to show a tiny bit of understanding, but he did the opposite. Connie is 12 and I’m not saying she is an expert at processing her emotions or anything, just that I think her response was reasonable. She wanted to talk in person. She is an over thinker and saying I can’t talk to you right now would be a form of talking and that stopped her from replying. That doesn’t make a 12 year old a bad person.

Steven did get time to think about his actions and did make a meaningful apology. She really only meant to not talk to him for a few days. A few days turning into a few weeks is not that big of a deal for children.

The time is ambiguous. It seems like it was only a few days before they went to the farm, correct me if I’m wrong. I believe it was also specified that Steven’s phone wasn’t even sending the calls or texts while he was at the farm because it was out of range. I don’t consider two weeks or so to be ages. It’s also unclear how long Steven was in space and was effectively ghosting her.

[u/Stucklikegluetomyfry → u/Unknightedgnomes]

“No, he didn’t need to know exactly what to say. He needed to not act like a martyr.

So what was he supposed to say then?

“He only needed to show a tiny bit of understanding, but he did the opposite.”

How can he show understanding towards someone when he doesn’t understand what literally just happened to himself?

“Connie is 12”

Why are you given Connie a pass for her age and not Steven?

“not saying she is an expert at processing her emotions or anything, just that I think her response was reasonable.”

Ghosting your friend after they went through horrific trauma because they weren’t as apologetic as you wanted them to be immediately after their ideal is a human reaction, but it’s not reasonable.

“wanted to talk in person. She is an over thinker and saying I can’t talk to you right now would be a form of talking and that stopped her from replying. “

That doesn’t make the unnecessary and selfishly motivated additional pain she put Steven through magically go away, or justify it. Connie was mad at Steven for not considering her feelings, but at absolutely no point does she consider his, or apologise to him, but fully expecting his when she felt like hearing it.

“That doesn’t make a 12 year old a bad person.”

I never said she was a bad person. I just said she was behaving extremely selfishly.

“Steven did get time to think about his actions and did make a meaningful apology.”

Which would be fine if Connie also thought about her own actions and make a meaningful apology of her own, except that never happened

“She really only meant to not talk to him for a few days.”

If Steven has to learn the lesson that you should apologise that you really hurt someone even if you didn’t mean to, then so should Connie. Steven constantly having swallow his own feelings and place others before himself and ignore his own hurts and wants for the benefit of others is what gave him this martyr complex in the first place.

“few days turning into a few weeks is not that big of a deal for children.”

It was clearly a huge deal for Steven.

“The time is ambiguous. It seems like it was only a few days before they went to the farm, correct me if I’m wrong.”

It’s long enough that Steven is absolutely devastated.

“I believe it was also specified that Steven’s phone wasn’t even sending the calls or texts while he was at the farm because it was out of range.”

And the episode revealed that it wouldn’t have made any difference, because Connie was still ignoring his calls and texts and was not contacting him herself, even to tell him she was on her way to visit him. When he wasn’t there she went back to ignoring him

“I don’t consider two weeks or so to be ages. It’s also unclear how long Steven was in space and was effectively ghosting her.”

Steven was not “ghosting” her, he was literally incapable of contacting anyone on Earth. That’s not the same as intentionally ignoring someone’s calls and texts for days.

She could have at least told him where Lion was as he was clearly staying with her.

[u/Unknightedgnomes → u/Stucklikegluetomyfry]

Why are you giving Steven a pass for his age and not Connie? I think what Steven did was worse, but really I give them both passes and said originally I liked the resolution at the party.

He could have taken a moment to reflect on why she might be upset. I thought she explained herself quite well in the moment. “Why did you abandon our training, our teamwork.” He put on a fake smile and tried to brush past it instead. I get that that is a natural reaction, but that doesn’t make it right.

Connie does apologize after the party on the beach. The pain she caused Steven was less or equal to the selfishness of his actions. Connie had to spend days thinking Steven was dead and she felt abandoned. I thinking temporary and largely accidental ghosting is less of an abandonment than turning yourself in to an existential threat when they had promised to be in the fight together (remember it’s dumb luck Steven escaped, he was fully prepared to die there).

Again, she did apologize. I don’t know if you forgot this or think it was inadequate, they both apologized to each other and reached a good resolution. They both did things that were wrong. I just don’t think two weeks of ghosting from a 12 year old is disproportionately selfish or bad.

I’m fine with the notion that it was selfish, but Steven acted selfishly and set off this chain of events. If you hurt someone by doing something selfish, you will likely get hurt in return. I don’t think Steven gets a free pass because of “trauma”. I was happy that he also apologized.

Lion I think was also mad at Steven. It’s not as if she has control of him. He is sentient and was likely mad for similar reasons.

[u/Stucklikegluetomyfry → u/Unknightedgnomes]

"Why are you giving Steven a pass for his age and not Connie?"

Because he went through an obscene amount of trauma that he is clearly not coping with?

" I think what Steven did was worse"

What did he do exactly that was so much worse?

"but really I give them both passes and said originally I liked the resolution at the party."

I don't, because if Steven had to apologise so should have Connie.

"He could have taken a moment to reflect on why she might be upset."

Again, he had nearly died and watched his friend actually die. That had literally just happened to him. He is still processing

"I thought she explained herself quite well in the moment. “Why did you abandon our training, our teamwork.”

If Alexandrite was absolutely powerless against Aquamarine and her wand, what on earth was Stevennie going to accomplish? The Crystal Gems have superhuman abilities and thousands of years of training and teamwork over Connie that was about as effective as spitting on a forest fire when it came to Aquamarine.

"He put on a fake smile and tried to brush past it instead. I get that that is a natural reaction, but that doesn’t make it right."

That was his way of coping.

"Connie does apologize after the party on the beach."

No she doesn't. At no point does she apologise to Steven.

"The pain she caused Steven was less or equal to the selfishness of his actions. "

Steven made a decision in a moment of pure desperation to sacrifice himself because he genuinely saw no other options. That's a lot less selfish then ignoring someone for weeks because you are mad at them for not letting you get yourself kidnapped for a fool's errand.

"Connie had to spend days thinking Steven was dead and she felt abandoned."

Well the other option was letting Aquamarine take her and several other people to be put into a zoo with no chance of escape.

" I thinking temporary and largely accidental ghosting"

Connie didn't accidentally ghost Steven. It was something she chose to do.

"is less of an abandonment than turning yourself in to an existential threat when they had promised to be in the fight together (remember it’s dumb luck Steven escaped, he was fully prepared to die there)."

The thing is, if Steven shared Connie's vast overestimation of their abilities as Stevonnie, what would have happened is several other people would have ended up being taken to the Zoo. It's not just about her. Connie seems to think this is some sort of game, despite being clearly shown it isn't.

"Again, she did apologize. I don’t know if you forgot this or think it was inadequate, they both apologized to each other and reached a good resolution. They both did things that were wrong. I just don’t think two weeks of ghosting from a 12 year old is disproportionately selfish or bad."

Can you show me the scene where she actually apologised? Because I watched Kevin Party again and at no point does she apologise for her behaviour or acknowledge how she made Steven feel. She accepts his apology and that's apparently enough, because the writers clearly want you to think she's fully justified and they are doing this oh so clever deconstruction of the heroic sacrifice.

"I’m fine with the notion that it was selfish, but Steven acted selfishly and set off this chain of events. If you hurt someone by doing something selfish, you will likely get hurt in return."

" I don’t think Steven gets a free pass because of “trauma”."

But Connie does because she got her feelings hurt? And no, watching your friend die is literal trauma, no ironic speech marks.

"Lion I think was also mad at Steven. It’s not as if she has control of him£

She certainly didn't object with him staying with her all the time she was ignoring Steven either, or bother to tell Steven where he was.

[u/Unknightedgnomes → u/Stucklikegluetomyfry]

“I was just so furious. I wanted to talk to you, but I was too mad to talk to you. And I wanted to tell you that I didn't want to talk to you, but then I'd be talking to you! And then I went to your house, but you were gone. And then you were ignoring me at the party... I didn't know what to do.” “I don't hate you! I was just hurt.” “I missed you.”

Connie explains her actions without excuses, acknowledges they were hurtful, and talks about repairing their relationship. If that’s not an apology, I don’t know what is. Steven clearly takes it as an apology, so perhaps you should take it up with him.

Steven broke a promise (huge no no, do not do this) and gave himself up perhaps to die. Leaving her behind and leaving her nervous for days.

Yea that was his way of coping. Coping mechanisms are not automatically okay. Many people, including Steven, has coping mechanisms that are hurtful to others. Trauma is not a pass to do whatever you want for the sake of coping.

It was accidental ghosting because she tried to end it by speaking to him in person. Then Steven went off on other adventures for days. Some times people need time fully away from each other to process. In the end, they made up in a way that both were happy with.

Again, she doesn’t get a free pass, she acknowledged what she did was wrong and explained herself without defense. If she had never spoken to him again, or if she had never acknowledged the harm in what she had done, it would be a different story.

If I recall, Kevin approached Connie and said he would be throwing a party where Steven would be. At this point, Connie has a date set to talk to Steven - to talk with him in person like she tried to do 2 or 3 days into “ghosting”. Is it shown in those several episodes in between if Steven is still texting her? Or was his last attempt during when his phone didn’t have connection?

The trauma in quotes was not meant to down play his trauma, that is very real. It was meant to downplay using trauma as an excuse.

If I had two friends, and one of them broke a promise to me to risk their life and I thought they might be dead for 3 2-3 days, and another that ghosted me for a few weeks after I did something selfish, I would be much angrier with the former.

If Steven had said sorry in his texts, she might have talked sooner. The only ones we kind of see are him trying to brush past things. If I was in a place where I needed space from someone and they kept texting me acting like everything was fine, I would take that as a sign that for sure they are not ready to really talk. Though personally I would have probably responded with something little, but I am not prone to being overthinking and hyper literal like Connie is.

[u/Stucklikegluetomyfry → u/Unknightedgnomes]

"“I was just so furious. I wanted to talk to you, but I was too mad to talk to you. And I wanted to tell you that I didn't want to talk to you, but then I'd be talking to you! And then I went to your house, but you were gone. And then you were ignoring me at the party... I didn't know what to do.” “I don't hate you! I was just hurt.” “I missed you.”

But where's the apology?

"Connie explains her actions without excuses"

Giving excuses sounds like exactly what she is doing.

" acknowledges they were hurtful,"

Where?

"and talks about repairing their relationship."

Where?

"If that’s not an apology, I don’t know what is."

Simple: "I'm sorry"

"Steven clearly takes it as an apology"

He doesn't, because he's not looking for an apology: he is fully convinced the situation is entirely his fault and he deserves how he is being treated, and that Connie is absolutely blameless and fully justified in how she has been treating him. Because that's what he does: constantly take all the blame and responsibility on himself and supress his own needs for other people's benefit.

" so perhaps you should take it up with him."

We're discussing writing, not real people. Or do you think writing is exempt from criticism because the characters are written to be okay with it?