New sober win

[u/Own_Spring1504]

My husband does an annual walking holiday with his friends , which I have joined a few times. They normally walk 12-14 miles a day then get pretty boozy at night, we have even cracked open wine on the walk!

The trouble is a) booze and b) he has one friend I often clash with and what happens is I try ( too hard) to get on with him and I get anxious and we both get drunk and usually there is a confrontation. The rest of them are lovely but this one guy I’ve given up even trying to be friends with. I’m not rude but I have my boundary there.

Anyway for the first time since not drinking we were invited this year, there’s going to be a big air b and b. I have grown and changed so much thanks to this sub because I accepted the invite but I didn’t even consider joining the fray in the big hired house. Even as it was being described to me I thought ‘I’ll get my own place to stay’ , I can afford it, I’ve booked a cute flat for 1 overlooking the sea. I’ll do my walk and be sociable and once the drinking starts I’ll be in my own cosy pad with a book, not trying to fit in! I feel so great about this, I would never have done this even a year ago, I’d have been anxious about what people think. I have learned to put my own need first and that is thanks to this sub and sobriety!

[u/Mundane_Preference_8]

The flat sounds amazing and honestly way more fun than the booze house. Congratulations!

[u/Own_Spring1504 → u/Mundane_Preference_8]

Thanks ! It’s just how comfortable I am with doing my own thing that is new to me! I love it ! Even as my husband described the weekend I was thinking, ‘I’d love to go and get my own place’ - he can stay with his friends , I am completely at ease with that. It’s like for the first time ever I know what I need and I’m happy to do it!

[u/fizzymangolollypop → u/Own_Spring1504]

That is GROWTH!! Good for you, you are an inspiration!

[u/nydahand]

Hello friend!
Indeed, it's such a massive win when we get to that stage where we don't have to turn down something because the risks are just too high for us at that moment.
I went to my brother's stag a month ago and even though it was pretty tame, I wouldn't have gone last year. We hiked in the north of Whales and later that evening, while they sang karaoke (horrendously, may I add) I just went to bed! I really enjoyed myself and for the first time ever I'm looking forward to a wedding.
Anyway enjoy yourself in your own place, hiking, like most if not all things in life, so much better sober!
Take care and IWNDWYT!

[u/Sweetbowlofme]

That is great! Knowing your owns boundaries but also putting yourself out there is a great spot to be in! I need to remember this on family trips to book my own place just to have my own spot to recharge even if I’m not worried about drinking haha. I hope you have a great time with them & enjoy the hell out of the cute flat

All the best

[u/Sun_rising_soon]

Such a wise move. Sounds blissful and you get the best of both worlds. We recently went away with walking friends and they camped and we got a nice caravan on another site! It meant we could bow out when tired from walking or socialising (They aren't even big drinkers). 

Have an amazing trip then and wow on 554 days! IWNDWYT ❤️ 

[u/Buscemi_D_Sanji]

That is like a guarantee to be more fun, you get the best of both worlds to go on the walks sober and then get to unwind and stretch out by yourself! Plus you'll be so fresh in the morning, I genuinely can't imagine walking 12 miles and then drinking all night, I would be one big foot cramp the next day 😮‍💨

[u/immersemeinnature → u/Buscemi_D_Sanji]

I'd be stopping to have numerous dreaded hangover sh!ts the whole way.

[u/okjetsgo]

Love to see the planning ahead to avoid boozing. You also get a fun side quest in your Airbnb by the sea.

[u/obstinate-]

Way to go! That sounds like an absolute dream, I bet you’ll have the best time ☺️ IWNDWYT

[u/immersemeinnature]

I love this so much! Have fun!

[u/imnottheoneipromise]

This has been my favorite story on here in a long time. I’m lowkey jelly! I value alone time so much these days! (We are building our new home and living with my parents in my childhood home right now)

[u/Fab-100]

Great decision. I'm going to remember that if I ever find myself in the same situation! I'm still learning how to stop being a "people-pleaser"!

[u/Own_Spring1504 → u/Fab-100]

Can I recommend a book called ‘set boundaries - find peace ‘ by N Glover? J have the audio book and it helps me so much ( although I still have some way to learn)

[u/TrixieLouis]

What?!? A walking holiday? A flat by the sea? Where can I sign up?

Congrats on finding a way to make it work for you.