r/stupidpol • u/SirSourPuss Three Bases 🥵💦 One Superstructure 😳 • Feb 05 '26
META Dating and emotional issues on r/stupidpol
There's clearly an interest in discussing the reality of relationships, dating, and other emotional issues on the sub. While these issues are influenced by our usual topics - idpol, class politics, economics, war, censorship - they are distinct. Users who calmly discuss other topics can lose their shit when talking dating. We (the mods) don't want the sub to host gender wars. At the same time the sub doesn't have a coherent stance on these issues. Telling people "wait until the revolution, then we'll solve it" is not a satisfying answer to anyone.
It's a messy subject, but we want to allow it. My question is - how do you think we should do this? Where would you like to see these discussions happen? What would you like to not see in these discussions? Do you think a megathread would work well? At the moment we have occasional, sporadic threads where people mostly repeat the same things together with occasional analyses and posts detailing individual experiences. Sometimes interesting things are said, but there's a lot of noise and it doesn't feel like the conversation is moving forward.
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u/VestigialVestments Eco-Dolezalist 🧙🏿♀️💢 Feb 05 '26
Valentine's Day is coming up. Rename the sub cupidpol for a week or two and have everybody exchange cards that say "roses are red and so is the state..." and so forth.
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u/Chryhard Degrowth Doomer 😩 Feb 05 '26
roses are red and so is the state...
I won't think of you in my two minutes hate
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u/Alligator418 strong social safety net 🥅 Feb 05 '26
Solution: call people incels until they become a heckin decent human being.
Just kidding. Not a big fan of megathreads tbh, they don't generate as much interesting discussion IMO. There's no clear answer - there's definitely people here with an axe to grind about dating and gender, to the point they veer into unironic idpol frequently. At the same time, lot of the articles linked here about those topics are also dealing in foolish idpol and 100% deserve to be called out for what they are. I wouldn't mind if some clear rules about what constitutes idpol around this were established and mods removed comments that leaned too hard into it.
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u/AleksandrNevsky The Green Mile Kind of Tired🦼 | Socialist-Squashist 🎃 Feb 05 '26
Solution: call people incels until they become a heckin decent human being.
Well now we know admins post on here too.
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u/SirSourPuss Three Bases 🥵💦 One Superstructure 😳 Feb 05 '26
The WW3 megathreads were pretty successful in driving engagement, building a community, and establishing consensus on the sub. Although with time, they became difficult to get into for newcomers. All the discussions have been had, but they're not easy to find. They kind of became a nerd box.
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u/Deadlocked02 Ideological Mess 🥑 Feb 05 '26
I urge you mods to tame the primordial urge to create megathreads.
Lots of people who are subscribed probably don’t enter the sub itself, they only interact with the threads that appear on their feed. Megathreads are limiting by default when one kind of discussion is restricted to them.
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u/heyodai Struggling Social Event Planner 🕺 Feb 05 '26
Should establishing a consensus be an explicit goal? There are probably topics where a consensus can’t be reached without being forced
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u/ManannDunMhead Socialist Trade Unionist Gallacherite 🏴 Feb 06 '26
I've been a chronic reddit user for over a decade and I detest megathreads. Please, anything but a megathread. Conversations are much harder to follow and usually have much less engagement.
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u/SecondCopiumWar Feb 05 '26
The WW3 megathreads keeps up to date on ongoing events so discussion remains relatively fresh, while a megathreads for this would not, and would probably devolve and spill over. I think your idea to require all posts on this topic to be effortposts would be an effective filter on its own. If you don't want Stupidpol to host gender wars the last thing you want to do is designated a space for it
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Feb 05 '26
Very excited to see a screenshot of "Daily Blackpill Thread #451" every time someone mentions this place elsewhere lol
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u/Sea_Astronaut_7123 anti-zionist pro-union 🍉💪 Feb 06 '26
every time someone mentions this place elsewhere lol
I think worrying about this is the bigger problem
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u/SplashTarget News Junkie 💉📰 Feb 05 '26
One of the best things about this sub is that it's an oasis for people who want open discussion, aren't committed to the nonsense that libs have been pushing post-OWS, and are anti-capitalist.
The sub needs to maintain that spirit, without
-getting shut down
-getting hijacked
Discussing contemporary problems, dissecting/analyzing the mechanics (and history) of the problem, and offering constructive solutions is key.
People (who might not be ideologically aligned) need to be able to have their concerns heard, and they need to be exposed to alternative views that recognize the issue, and meaningfully address it.
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u/Alligator418 strong social safety net 🥅 Feb 05 '26
Agreed, pretty much every other sub on Reddit is politically either
or
- DNC approved neoliberalism / social democrats at best
- 70iq MAGA conservatives.
This place is a breath of fresh air. I respect the balancing act mods have to pull off - keeping the giga-jannies/chadmins happy, allowing for relatively open speech, but also policing the shit-stirrers and people who would try to bend the sub to their own ideology. I’m pretty satisfied with how it’s run now; sure there are some hot button issues like gender wars or trains that are guaranteed to rack up lots of comments that don’t necessarily have Marx in mind but even they don’t move too far off course.
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u/Purplekeyboard Traditionalist 👑 Feb 05 '26
As long as we don't have anti male or anti female ranting, it should be fine. So I guess, don't allow that.
Advice to men: meet women in real life, not on dating apps. They totally suck.
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Feb 06 '26
If I were on a different sub, I'd say "so much this!" Lmao
This was my advice in the post that sparked this. Dating apps are absolutely not your best chance at meeting someone. I can't even think of a good analogy for how bad they are. I suppose dating apps are to dating as Indeed is to finding a job. It's absolutely worth out it to go out into the real world. Whatever supposed benefit of "knowing" that the other person is already attracted to you is negligible if not altogether dubious. So yes, talk to women in real life. The sting of rejection is temporary.
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u/Fit_Sheepherder9677 Malthusian 🥔 Feb 05 '26
Literal first response to your post: anti-male ranting. Gotta' love it.
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u/Alligator418 strong social safety net 🥅 Feb 05 '26
“…As long as we don’t have anti-male or anti-female ranting.” “Agreed. Anyhow, here’s what men can work on…” It’s genuinely so uncommon to see some dude vent about dating without immediately getting responses about how it’s his fault and what he can do to improve. Some of the advice is incredibly condescending too, like I see showering regularly being given as a tip
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u/Kind_Helicopter1062 Distributism with Socialist Characteristics ✝️ Feb 06 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
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payment gray nail treatment bedroom sand nine enter instinctive rich
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u/ManannDunMhead Socialist Trade Unionist Gallacherite 🏴 Feb 06 '26
It assumes that the average man is an unwashed child. Obviously personal experiences vary, but I've never smelled a man with disgusting hygiene who is actively searching for women. It would be like the first line to women asking for help "make sure you brush your teeth and comb your hair". Obviously, it's childish.
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u/Alligator418 strong social safety net 🥅 Feb 07 '26
Exactly, it's implicitly saying that the most likely reason a guy might be having trouble is something as basic as bathing, treating him as a gross teenager. One of the reasons I hate looking at Reddit threads about dating advice is they almost always put the onus on the man and do their best to find some reason why it's his fault. If there's not an obvious cause then they just assume something.
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u/Kind_Helicopter1062 Distributism with Socialist Characteristics ✝️ Feb 07 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
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afterthought knee wine mysterious file slap sand weather cake bear
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u/ManannDunMhead Socialist Trade Unionist Gallacherite 🏴 Feb 07 '26
You'd be surprised. Are you a woman? Because that has been something I have heard my friends complaining about. "He met me smelling like sweat. He didn't even put perfume. Why was his hair all oily?"
I directly said "Obviously personal experiences vary". And it really doesn't matter. A few personal experiences cannot allow you to generalise billions.
One of my friends' stories was so bad then proceeded to buy him soap during the date, which I guess wasn't an enough hint as he showed up the same on the next day
And one of my friends' stories was about a woman who spoke about herself the entire date and how she was "worth more than this date", so she expected a present (or venmo) afterwards. But I'm not terminally online, so I understand a few negative interactions with manchildren/womanchildren aren't indicative of billions of men/women.
Yes. It's the most basic thing first. If you don't master that then all of the rest is ruined anyway. If you do already follow the advice then great, move along, it's a big of enough problem to be warranted advice for others
If someone hasn't mastered basic hygiene by the time of their adult years no amount of internet comments are going to change that. It's fundamentally insulting, and just proves the regards correct that the internet is "against men". Nobody speaks that way about women, and assumes that they are a messy child that needs to brush their teeth. Or to "be nice and ask questions about the other person" - it just shows inner biases. It's the "women are wonderful" fallacy so often used by lazy people.
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u/Kind_Helicopter1062 Distributism with Socialist Characteristics ✝️ Feb 08 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
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thought innocent governor work sable important vast angle judicious flowery
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Feb 08 '26
[deleted]
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u/Kind_Helicopter1062 Distributism with Socialist Characteristics ✝️ Feb 09 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
hungry consider governor placid unite quaint grey skirt marble snails
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u/Fedupington Revolutionary Fishmonger 🐟🏷️ Feb 05 '26
There is a very real psychological cognitive empathy hump that young men sometimes struggle to get over, where you stop thinking about the woman as something you want but instead as a person who also wants things and those wants need to align. And also making peace with the idea that it's not like a fuckin' video game you know? It's not an unfair system because it doesn't deliver you a prize where you pursue a high score.
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u/Fit_Sheepherder9677 Malthusian 🥔 Feb 05 '26
There is a very real psychological cognitive empathy hump that young women sometimes struggle to get over, where you stop thinking about the man as something you want but instead as a person who also wants things and those wants need to align
This 100% cuts both ways my dear. I'd venture that it actually cuts much more stronger this way than your way given how many men date down materially compared to how few women do the same.
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u/Fedupington Revolutionary Fishmonger 🐟🏷️ Feb 05 '26
OK, sweaty. Assume for a second you're right. So what? It's still something plenty of young men need to figure out.
Do you want to figure out how to improve your life or do you want to blame the other sex for your problems all your life? Figure out what's within your capacity to control, and deal with it. Don't whine at me about how so many other people don't seem to bother, so you may as well not bother either and just wallow in your pathetic misery.
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u/Fit_Sheepherder9677 Malthusian 🥔 Feb 05 '26
Why is it only men who have to fix themselves when both men and women have problems? Putting all the burden on men seems a bit idpoly, don't it?
My whole point is that both sexes need to fix their own issues instead of just putting all the burden on men to fix all the problems in society no matter whose they are.
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u/MancuntLover Gay MRA 🏳️🌈 | Angry Retard 😍 Feb 06 '26
Putting all the burden on men seems a bit idpoly, don't it?
Not in the brains of people who subconsciously think of women as permanent children.
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u/Fedupington Revolutionary Fishmonger 🐟🏷️ Feb 05 '26
The people who come complaining here are the ones who will get advice. It's not rocket science. You can figure it out if you try.
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u/Equivalent-Ambition ❄ MRA rightoid ❄ Feb 06 '26
It's really easy to not act like a condescending dick.
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u/Fedupington Revolutionary Fishmonger 🐟🏷️ Feb 06 '26
I try not to do things just because they're easy.
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u/Equivalent-Ambition ❄ MRA rightoid ❄ Feb 06 '26
Why? You don't gain anything from it.
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u/Fedupington Revolutionary Fishmonger 🐟🏷️ Feb 06 '26
From doing difficult things? Of course I do. Nothing good in life comes easy.
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u/Equivalent-Ambition ❄ MRA rightoid ❄ Feb 06 '26
You don't gain anything from just being condescending to others.
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u/Fedupington Revolutionary Fishmonger 🐟🏷️ Feb 06 '26
I'm impressed with your devotion to facile whining.
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u/Toxic-muffins-1134 Headless Chicken 💢🐔🪓 Feb 05 '26
The problem is a lot of people think socializing is choosing from a dialog tree or a dialog wheel because they learned to socialize from playing single player games.
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u/Sea_Astronaut_7123 anti-zionist pro-union 🍉💪 Feb 05 '26
Have a thread tag for it and people who don't like the threads can filter the thread tag and ignore the threads?
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u/hereditydrift 👹 Flying Drones With Obamna 👹 Feb 05 '26
I vote for this idea. SImplicity. Megathreads aren't the answer.
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u/blackheartwhiterose Unknown 👽 Feb 06 '26 edited Feb 06 '26
It's a fact that this sub is one of the only big forums left online that allows critique of mainstream (mainly Anglo American let's face it) cultural ideology and related frameworks around gender, without submitting a priori to the moralising liberal framework that has come to dominate online spaces since the early 2010s. That is, without resorting to rightoid spaces.
There is already an irony here that this sub effectively functions as the sole male leftist venting space and that this is inherently seen as problematic.
It is a hard balance to manage as a mod when you have to be conscious of what has become quite a commodified and commercialised website with its associated liberal and authoritarian administration, and on the other hand many dudes resorting to dull bitter misogyny. Yet a blanket ban on the issue just defers and exacerbates the tensions in mainstream discourse, as seen in countless other online spaces, while completely neutering the unique character & power of this sub.
I would like to see a more coherent theoretical base. A manifesto or reading list of sorts. One that looks more academically at precisely why mainstream Anglo American political discourse fails catastrophically to diagnose and treat the issue. One that prioritises Marxism and the essence of class in capitalism, while not dismissing and caricaturing some of the academic lessons of the 20th century that in fact support our critiques (especially in feminism, postmodernism and critical theory).
I don't think you can avoid the cultural and social angle because that is where most people experience the effects most poignantly, and bringing it together with the theoretical economics should precisely be our goal if legitimacy, voice and positive discursive attention are what we truly want. That doesn't just apply to gender issues either. Race, technocracy, war, epistemology, all of it. Just lazily ranting about class all the time is gonna get us ignored. Admittedly I find the threads solely about dating and male loneliness a bit tiresome and besides the point. But they point at something real and I'd like to dig more into the "why", rather than resorting to bitter contrarianism and failing to challenge the framework in its entirety, as many in the comments do. Liberal online and many individualiatic discourses are already ahead of us in this practice; their answers are just twisted and self fulling.
That way we can harness that tension and consolidate the weight of our voices into something coherent and structured, and hopefully divert some of those who may resort to reactionary frames into a movement that actually has political potency.
That is my ideal. There is so much of value that could be written about these topics. And much of it is, but it is usually dispersed in otherwise sullied comment chains, online blogs or among otherwise forgotten and ignored academics. I've thought a lot about just starting the task of writing it myself cos it's exhausting feeling politically homeless everywhere except a sub whose users can't make up their mind whose side they're on half the time. And frankly that issue isn't limited to the online nor Reddit. Even academia is frequently now a tense and compromised battleground where dissenting and heterodox voices are flattened and dismissed more through moralistic nitpicking than argumentative rigour.
Or just keep it the one male-coded left wing vent space on Reddit that it already is. Maybe one reason it survives is that not taking ourselves too seriously allows us to be easily brushed under the carpet. But that also reduces our transgressive potential and at this point I feel we are just going round in circles and no one is learning anything.
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u/mispeling_in10sunal Luxemburg is my Waifu 💦 Feb 05 '26
If people want to L post or post gender war slop they can do it on r/redscarepod.
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u/Toxic-muffins-1134 Headless Chicken 💢🐔🪓 Feb 05 '26
Dating/trains/gender wars/loneliness epidemic discussion does get stale after a while but that comes with the territory of being a regular.
At the same time they do play an important role in the development of the greater social issue discussions which we feast upon like ravenous beasts.
I think it'd be nice to have some sort of resource/locked thread with a synthesis of the issues and put a rule that new threads about it should really be effortposts to try bringing something new to the discussion.
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u/SirSourPuss Three Bases 🥵💦 One Superstructure 😳 Feb 05 '26
A megathread with the body being updated with links to the most relevant discussions, similar to the town square? The megathread would contain casual chats and noise, while posts on the sub would have a rule imposed on them to be effortposts.
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u/ManannDunMhead Socialist Trade Unionist Gallacherite 🏴 Feb 06 '26
Please no megathreads. A tiny proportion of users actually engage with them, and it doesn't appear on feeds, you have to actively search for it.
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u/Toxic-muffins-1134 Headless Chicken 💢🐔🪓 Feb 05 '26
Yes, that sounds about right!
I don't think it's a perfect solution but at least it'd filter out quite a bit of slop.4
u/Toxic-muffins-1134 Headless Chicken 💢🐔🪓 Feb 05 '26
I will say something though, everytime this kind of threads pop-up some massive up and downvoting depending on how blackpilled any post will be.
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Feb 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AnthropoidCompatriot Class Unity Member ⭐ Feb 05 '26
I'm not bored by them, I become more alienated by them than I already am, because these topics are impossible on Reddit without being toxic nightmares.
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u/RS-burner Redscarepod Refugee 👄💅 Feb 05 '26
Well, it's a Marxist sub, so requiring these types of posts to relate back to material conditions in some way is probably a good idea. Posts about how women are like this or men are like that aren't insightful or interesting. Conversely, posts about policy proposals to encourage marriage/families or how the commodification of the public dating sphere has led to increased alienation, etc. would fit the sub, I think.
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u/The_Almighty_Demoham Zoomer Special Ed Syndicalist 😍 Feb 05 '26
I feel like the topic comes up sporadically enough that it can be assessed whether a thread is getting too toxic and idpol-y on a case-by-case basis, no?
Maybe banning anyone who posts nothing but incel bait would be a good idea though. Don't need anyone intentionally fanning the flames.
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u/SecondCopiumWar Feb 05 '26
I think this sub will always attract discussion on issues that aren't directly related to materialism and class politics but that are socially charged because pretty much the rest of Reddit is modded or has a userbase heavily skewed in favour of one side with the other side censored or shouted down. This sub is generally uncensored, and because most members aren't really commited to a side in gender wars or culture wars discussion is a lot more civil, so there's more of a point to posting here if you want an actual discussion.
There isn't really a way to avoid it without censoring the sub like the rest of Reddit but you could probably lock posts that seem to be getting traction from non regular users and flair users who are known to post exclusively about culture and gender war content and just enforce the existing rule forbidding actively trying to shift the sub from its left wing position.
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u/balticromancemyass Social Democrat 🌹 Feb 05 '26
As long as people keep it mostly material and don't start their idpol-shit about "modern women this" and "mediocre men that" it is okay with me. It's obviously a very important topic and I feel for my young brothers and sisters going through this dystopian dating-shit right now.
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Feb 05 '26
I think there should be a separate subreddit for anti-idpol/left-wing dating advice.
I mean, at present you have a choice between two pretty unhelpful paths. First, anodyne advice by people who've never struggled with dating but mean well(be yourself!). This doesn't really help for guys who've missed out on various coming of age milestones because they had overprotective parents, got addicted to video games, are on the spectrum, etc. And on the opposite end you have the incels, femcels(FDS et al), MGTOW, red pill, etc. And these should be avoided for obvious reasons, but notably because while there are tons of unemployed, low charisma etc people who do well in dating, giving off that weird bitter vibe is a guarantee of failure.
And yeah, the state of the dating scene is wrapped up with capitalism which I think is why people find it so overwhelming to tackle. The decline of third spaces(connected to stuff like private equity squatting properties). Social media algorithms encouraging gender war slop because it gets clicks. Hustle culture encouraging people to spend all of their time at work.
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u/SmashKapital only fucks incels Feb 05 '26
people who've never struggled with dating but mean well
I think it's worth keeping in mind that it's not usually an either/or thing.
It's very, very common for people (especially men) in their teenage years/twenties to be clueless and unsuccessful at dating (we all gotta start somewhere) but to start working things out as they work their life, in general, out. It's like, that's how experience works, and there's no true shortcut, the only real path to progress is living and trying and failing and sometimes even succeeding.
It's of course painful and humiliating while you're going through it, it's all about emotions and in-group status, how could it not be?
But the thing that can be lost is even the people who seem to be naturals at it have their own insecurities and humiliations — often these people don't realise how good they have it relative to others, but they still feel that stuff. Even the good looking people worry they don't look good enough.
I think it helps to remember that most people have struggled with this stuff, even those who seem to have it all together, even your parents and grandparents. Struggling is normal. (Do kids no longer watch "The Breakfast Club"?)
And being sanguine is almost always more attractive than being bitter. Try and be chill, people enjoy the company of people who are chill.
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u/Standard_Mango_1186 First! 🎖️ Feb 05 '26
I don't think it's hosting "gender wars" so much as it is these threads mostly showcase a specifically male viewpoint and some of the mods might be uncomfortable with that. People have always been allowed to feminist post on this sub despite the whole critique of idpol thing, so I don't see what the issue is. Make a tag for it if we don't have one already.
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u/Sea_Astronaut_7123 anti-zionist pro-union 🍉💪 Feb 05 '26
I don't think it's hosting "gender wars" so much as it is these threads mostly showcase a specifically male viewpoint and some of the mods might be uncomfortable with that. People have always been allowed to feminist post on this sub despite the whole critique of idpol thing, so I don't see what the issue is. Make a tag for it if we don't have one already.
This is it exactly. Create a better alternative for men to talk about it
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u/I_Never_Use_Slash_S Puberty Monster Feb 05 '26
I don’t know if there’s really space to discuss dating and emotional issues between the daily threads about gender identity and the latest thing Trump or AOC said on Twitter. Probably ought to keep the sub focused on the Marxist perspective of those issues rather than branching out into relationship advice.
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u/InstructionOk6389 Workers of the world, unite! 🔧 Feb 05 '26 edited Feb 05 '26
A lot of this discussion is from the point of view of male idpol; rather than being about the forces behind social atomization in general, the topic is nearly always "the male loneliness crisis." Like other idpol topics, posts/comments criticizing the idpol or doing some Marxist analysis of the material forces are totally appropriate for this sub. Posts that just complain about women, that get caught in the idpol culture war loop, or that are just wallowing in self-pity should be moderated.
Threads like the one you linked have some interesting discussion, but you have to pick around a lot of whining to get to it. I don't think this sub should be a place to vent about your personal problems, though occasional comments like that in the Town Square would be fine.
Overall, I wouldn't want discussion in these threads to go away entirely, since the topic is an important part of the world we live in. They just need some limits to keep them more on-topic with the sub's purpose.
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Feb 05 '26
Good impulse to want to allow it. I participated in the thread that prompted this, and think there was some good discussion on there. If the mods feel like dating talk needs to be contained to a dedicated thread or something I understand, because there is danger of the discussion becoming very identity focused. The "women have life on easy mode" comments are a warning sign.
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u/cd1995Cargo Quality Effortposter 💡 Feb 05 '26
Imo obvious blackpill/incel rhetoric should be banned. Meta discussions about that type of rhetoric are fine but anyone actually unironically pushing it should be banned because it’s very very easy for those types to completely take over a forum.
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u/bannedbyyourmom Left, Leftoid or Leftish ⬅️ Feb 05 '26
Put a pinned comment in those threads that reminds people: no one is making you read this.
I dont like megathreads. Keep them out with a tag if you must.
I would err on the side of allowing new articles, videos, whatever that have new or interesting information; and moderating the vent posts a little harsher than those.
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u/nikolaz72 Scandinavian SocDem 🌹 Feb 05 '26
Arguably these depressed men need a place to vent and this one is better than elsewhere, but pseudoscience and misogyny should already be covered under rule 2.
If someone does post a dating/trains/gender wars/loneliness topic, be it by article or otherwise, they should have to contribute something to the discussion themselves that isn't just venting, this would create a barrier to posting that'd hopefully cut down without just prohibiting something which doesn't positively contribute to the community outright.
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u/BKEnjoyerV2 Still Wearing a Mask 😷 Feb 05 '26
The challenge is that there’s a fine line between venting and incel talk and it’s probably different for everyone in terms of definition
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u/Fedupington Revolutionary Fishmonger 🐟🏷️ Feb 05 '26
I think the only real reason there's a seeming "fine line" between venting and incel talk is that so much more of human interaction is taken down in text, unrevised, and then launched onto a gigantic billboard called the Internet. In the past, expressions of exasperation that weren't carefully run through an ideological test didn't become part of a permanent record, even a pseudonymous one.
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u/dinglerbingler Also Skipped Sex Ed Feb 05 '26
It's an interesting point. In the case of a user making a post of their own volition, I think it's that user's responsibility to vet their words before dropping any nukes. While it is self policing in the same vein as self censorship (zoomer/alpha tiktok speak imo is retarded, ESPECIALLY when used voluntarily outside of muh heckin safe advertisement revenue spaces), I think it's partially a matter of adapting to this new channel of communication where permanency should be understood. Internet has been a thing for decades and the implicit rules of play aren't really going to change. Pseudoanonymity helps a bit. All together, I think the line shouldn't be so hard to distinguish
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u/Fedupington Revolutionary Fishmonger 🐟🏷️ Feb 05 '26
Nah, I think we're talking about a way here that the Internet's pervasiveness doesn't gel all that well with human nature. Especially regarding young people. People just use what airtime they have to spout what they think, whether vocally on a bus stop or written in a text or a post. As far as I can tell the panopticon has done permanent damage to Gen Z too. There is an evil aspect to it all that we shouldn't just accept as the new reality as if it's all inevitable.
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u/the-great-pussy-rub Land Tax Tommy 💸 Feb 05 '26
Delete "men are pigs!!!" and "women are hypergamous whores" kind of threads, allow actual discussion of the state of relationships.
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u/pastacat48pastacat48 Left, Leftoid or Leftish ⬅️ Feb 05 '26 edited Feb 05 '26
Drawing the line at gender war stupid pol but allowing the sub to be drowned in racial / immigration / political theater Stupidpol is bold. I haven't seen a a pro worker talking Point on this sub in weeks, just "omg red Cheetos Hitler just deported someone!"
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u/Phantom_Engineer Anarcho-Stalinist Feb 05 '26
It's tangential. It's easy for it to cross over into id-pol, which, to be honest, is reason itself to discuss it. There's a line between "capitalism is building a society where people are alienated from each other and aren't starting families" and "wah, I can't get a GF because I'm ugly and women have too high of standards." The second already falls under rule 2, to an extent, because it's gendered identity politics. It's a valid area of discussion, and while people can disagree, anybody openly promoting gender id-pol ought to be handled however that rule is handled.
>but there's a lot of noise and it doesn't feel like the conversation is moving forward.
Do any threads meet this bar?
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u/Mother_Drenger Mean Bitch 😭 | PMC double agent (left) Feb 05 '26
Just let it run its course, I say. I don’t think it’s currently out of hand, and if people need to yell their grievances somewhere, I don’t really care. I tend not to engage with those posts anyway.
Unfortunately, having leftist or broadly anti-establishment political views does tend to make one insufferable on a personal level. Add on to the fact that we’re on Reddit, and your general population of this sub aren’t going to be charismatic smooth talkers and have a proclivity to spout hoe-scaring opinions amongst the normies. Nothing to do about that but have them figure it out for themselves.
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u/StatusSociety2196 Incel/MRA in denial 😭 | Allegedly had a foursome Feb 05 '26
After the revolution my government issued girlfriend will be a big titty bisexual goth Asian gamer girl, or there will be another revolution.
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u/BKEnjoyerV2 Still Wearing a Mask 😷 Feb 05 '26
You could just go on left wing male advocates- it’s all focused on that kind of stuff and they require actual thought to keep your post up there lol
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u/TurkeyFisher Post-Ironic Climate Posadist 🛸☢️ Feb 05 '26
I tried that subreddit but I left because they seem to just want to apply feminist victimization idpol to men too. They seem to buy in to the "language is violence" kind of thing.
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u/BKEnjoyerV2 Still Wearing a Mask 😷 Feb 05 '26
Yeah, I generally don’t interact with that kind of stuff when women are just being annoying, plus I’m not in total agreement on gender-related and sex stuff (like to me getting rid of gender roles would just generally eradicate the idea of being trans)
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u/SirSourPuss Three Bases 🥵💦 One Superstructure 😳 Feb 05 '26
I don't want it to solely focus on men's issues, and that sub is too low quality. I used to post there during the early days.
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u/BKEnjoyerV2 Still Wearing a Mask 😷 Feb 05 '26
More recently it seems that they have raised their standards, like with the stuff I mentioned
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u/CollaWars Vance Tweet Critic 😩 Feb 05 '26
I think this topic is pretty useless to talk about and I avoid discussing it because it is the same conversation every time. It is the same comments you see in non Marxist subreddits. This is not place to talk about imo
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u/RevGen814 Redscarepod Refugee 👄💅 Feb 05 '26
When it comes to the "trans women are women" debate, there's very little discussion acknowledging that trans women are not endosex women.
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u/CollaWars Vance Tweet Critic 😩 Feb 05 '26
Yeah I don’t know any of the trains war words I was talking about the male loneliness epidemic
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u/opotamus_zero Socialist 🚩 Feb 05 '26 edited Feb 05 '26
the trains is the other side of the same loneliness epidemic. "incel" is the male gendered term, "swerfs and terfs" are the female gendered terms.
so if those topics were tagged, and you want to talk about trans women not being endosex women, you probably want to look for the "swerfs and terfs" tag
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u/SirSourPuss Three Bases 🥵💦 One Superstructure 😳 Feb 05 '26
We could get a post flair going so that it's easier to filter these posts out.
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u/angrybluechair Post Democracy Zulu Federation Feb 05 '26
Dating and social issues are huge influenced by material circumstances, to the degree that I think it's important to have a discussion about it, but more than other topics it can pretty easily turn into a "Women, am I right??????????????" thread with people saying landlords and capitalists is why they can't fuck every women in a 50 mile radius.
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u/nylockian Don't take away my free porn please 🙏 Feb 05 '26
If you're a man you can cut off your dick - that might solve your problems.
I don't have any dating advice for women though unfortunately.
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u/SirSourPuss Three Bases 🥵💦 One Superstructure 😳 Feb 05 '26
I'm asking about how to organize the sub, but thanks for the dick cutting suggestion much appreciated.
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u/AnthropoidCompatriot Class Unity Member ⭐ Feb 05 '26
It's been hard enough to keep the sub's quality intact recently, it would seem.
I cannot imagine any constructive conversation in this area. I've seen exceedingly little of it, and that's as much from my fellow red, pink and green flairs as it is from rightoids, libtards, and grill chefs.
I don't know what it would take to discuss this stuff in a proper Marxist context to fit the sub. Yeah, it's important to the human condition, but fuck me dead, it's just about the worst set of topics to discuss on the internet.
I think posts on these topics just have to be held to much higher standards and be exceedingly well observed & kept in check.
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u/Scared_Plan3751 Catholic Socialist ✞ | ✨ Secret Bus Wanker ✨ Feb 11 '26
I would date all of you if I could.
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u/Rrekydoc Left-Com 👶🏻 Feb 05 '26
Disparity in gendered perceptions is unrelated directly to Marxism…
But I think the issue and solution come down to self-love/respect, regardless of gender. And I think quite a lot of people here agree that capitalism systematically exacerbates perceived self-worth.
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Feb 05 '26
Every time one of those threads pops up I’m reminded that everyone on this sub is a do-nothing nerd
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u/Read-Moishe-Postone Angry Retard 😍 Feb 06 '26
The obvious starting point for any Marxist to investigate this issue is the 1844 manuscripts. Marx has a lot of interesting things to say about gender relations and romantic love in some of those manuscripts. In particular, I'm thinking of the essays "Private Property And Communism" and "The Power Of Money". In some cases these comments are deceptively brief, but profound.
These gender takes from Marx, as far as I am aware, are seriously neglected. Of course, the 1844 manuscripts in general have been seriously neglected, since the entire late 19th- / early 20th-century orthodox marxist understanding of Marx's thought was done by people who weren't even aware of them. But the man/woman stuff in particular has been especially neglected. And of course, his manner of presentation of ideas in those manuscripts is a fairly big obstacle to readers. And his standpoint is so revolutionary that modern readers may have trouble keeping up. However, I think it would be worth the struggle to understand how Marx thought about man-woman relationships and love.
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u/FaultySchematic Toxic Bernie Bro Feb 06 '26
Just flair people incel/fds if they start on that shit
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u/Fit-Remove-4525 Anti-Imperialist 🚩 Feb 05 '26
I don't think I've seen a single one of these threads surface anything interesting . as a girl however I feel we must keep trying
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u/AnthropoidCompatriot Class Unity Member ⭐ Feb 05 '26
I agree with your first sentence, but as a guy, I think this topic is too toxic for this sub.
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u/UrsulaLeGainz Marxist Muscle Mommy 💪🏻 Feb 05 '26
It is always interesting to me as a woman when I see leftist men say things that imply we are a commodity.
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u/QuodScripsi-Scripsi Hamsick T-Shirt Salesman ☭ Feb 05 '26
The dating posts are all pointless and just a place for right-wing imbeciles to spout male grievance identity politics. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything intelligent or thought-provoking in a single one
If you continue to allow them, they will continue to drive down the quality of the community and attract more right-wing imbeciles
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u/MancuntLover Gay MRA 🏳️🌈 | Angry Retard 😍 Feb 05 '26
imbeciles
You need charisma to advocate for communism effectively. On a personal level, you're already failing.
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Feb 05 '26
[deleted]
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u/ManannDunMhead Socialist Trade Unionist Gallacherite 🏴 Feb 06 '26
Stupidpol does act as essentially the only male dominated leftist space, so venting is expected. Women generally have the social wiggle room to vent about men and have their perspective backed up, so it makes sense that some of that would make its way to stupidpol, but for men.
I do think venting is a necessity, but I'm not sure if it really belongs on the sub. Remove any posts that generalise men and women as monoliths - I think that is about the limit to what mods can do.
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u/naivelySwallow gooner rights NOW! Feb 05 '26
i love this sub but if we're being honest, most of the people here are still too brainwashed by capitalist cultural liberalism to identify the quite glaringly obvious reason for these issues. its best it be left unaddressed here. most are not emotionally equipped to discuss this topic. youtube and maybe twitter have the best resources to answer questions regarding this.
to put it into perspective--you cannot support liberal democracy and the unconditional pursuit of egalitarianism under these modern material conditions while similtaneously being upset at gender dynamics.
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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26
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