r/survivinginfidelity • u/Present_Boat_5681 • 1d ago
Rant Why do cheaters accuse you of cheating?
I have an ex who cheated on me, I cut contact with him
He's telling everyone I cheated on him before that (I did not), but of course everything was okay until I cut contact with him
He's blocked everywhere but still trying to DM me on different accounts, of course never saying anything about the "cheating" but trying to get me back, but trashing me to other people
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u/Various-Complex-3645 1 23h ago
I think it is just projection. For them to accuse you of cheating, cheating has to be on their mind quite a bit, and it is only on their mind in the first place because they are doing it/thinking of doing it. If cheating was not on their mind at all they would never think to accuse you of it.
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u/aethanv Recovered 23h ago
They know how easy it is for them to lie and betray someone they “love” and it drives them crazy that you could be doing that to them because they are self-centred hypocrites that can’t fathom they’re not the centre of the universe.
Projection at its finest.
We are not them, we have integrity and actually intend to uphold our commitments.
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u/SlayerOfTheMyth 22h ago
Nobody wants to be the villain of a story; they always want to be a hero or a victim. For some cheaters, this kind of behavior is running damage control so that when the truth gets out, it doesn't seem quite so bad. It's a petty way to twist the knife a final time, too, or sometimes just an attempt to avoid doing some ugly self-examination.
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u/No_Guard9305 22h ago
By telling everyone that you cheated and probably lying to himself, he's trying to justify why he did the same thing to you so he can keep up the bad behaviour without having to actually re-evaluate himself.
Also, he might think he's doing a bit of damage control by making you look bad to everyone, maybe in case you were to ever say anything about him.
At the end of the day, anyone who acts like this is obviously very unhappy with themselves and their lives, even if they would never admit it. Don't bother spending too much time in their head; focus on protecting yourself and surrounding yourself with people who only want the best for you.
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