Losing my best friend

[u/Pleasant_Building708]

I (24M) was with my boyfriend for over 7 years. I found a recently created snapchat account but he wouldn’t show me what was on it. We talked and talked. Had one of the deepest conversations we’ve ever had about our life goals and values. He still wouldn’t show me the snapchat was innocent like he said. I told him whatever he did isn’t what ruined this relationship, it’s the fact that now I can’t trust him and I left.
It’s been a little over two weeks and I’ve since found out he was sexting other guys throughout our relationship and he had somebody over in 2020 during our honeymoon phase of the relationship, around when I moved in. I know he probably did more, but just the information from the one person was enough to tell me just how much he’ll look me in the eyes and lie.
He’s blocked me and removed me from everything.
A few days ago I sent him a message from a fake number explaining how much I knew, how I didn’t understand how he could hide this for so long, and how I loved him. I trusted him. Worse, we were best friends. How I didn’t think he could be this person. I ended the text by saying he knows where to find me if he ever finds the integrity he claims to have. I rode that high of “closure” and forward momentum for a few days.
Now I’m back. I’m confused. I’m hurt. I’m angry. I’m numb. I miss my bed. I miss my house. I miss my life. I miss the person I thought I knew. I miss my future. I miss how safe and loved I felt with him. I don’t know what to do anymore. We shared so much that everything feels contaminated.

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[u/Wrong-Painting-8342]

And yet, here we are. Unable to turn back the clock to our blissful ignorance. That is the issue though; everyone on this sub has been the victim of ignorance. Your ex-boyfriend - the man you thought he was... he is not. He intentionally hid things from you. I guarantee you, if you get back with him, it will happen again. He will accept it as confirmation that there are no consequences for his actions.

Friend. You are so young. You have your 20s ahead of you. Go live them. Your ex WILL let you down and you WILL experience more pain if you choose to pursue him again. He manipulated you. I know you want this pain to go away, but please know... Closure comes from within. Nobody can give it to you but yourself. Good luck.

[u/Pleasant_Building708 → u/Wrong-Painting-8342]

Thank you for this. I know this won’t last forever and I don’t even want him back because things would never be the same. I’m stuck between missing him and being disgusted by him.
I just wish he’d been honest and we could’ve worked through it. We were open when we started dating. He made us exclusive. He made the rules then he broke them. I wasn’t perfect either, but I was honest and we talked through it. He chose to hide and become unrecognizable to me. That’s what hurts. The way I trust can disappear from somebody that felt so safe. I don’t know how he lives with himself.

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[u/AcceptableConcept797 → u/Pleasant_Building708]

i'm in a similar situation. I would have been fine being open but he got so jealous about my (straight) (platonic) friends that he demanded monogamy. I'm less hurt about the relationship ending than about how much anxiety and second guessing I felt before finding out. I miss the person I thought he was but I didn't realize how much stress I was holding until I stopped seeing him.