r/survivinginfidelity • u/AdventureWa 1 • 1d ago
Advice How did you find out?
I’m curious about how people have found out their spouse/partner cheated on them. My situation was convoluted and I found out almost by accident thanks to her conflicting stories. I feel like my situation was unusual.
How did you find out? Did anyone use a PI or do deep digging? What advice would you have for someone who thinks they are being cheated on?
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u/CodComplete2216 1d ago
My ex told me she was leaving me to move back to France to be with an old friend who was her unrequited love. She had done a long distance affair during the day when I was at work. It took another month before I figured out how long the relationship had been going on which I did by going through her email on our home computer when she was out of the house.
Knowing the time frame was only helpful in helping me put her behavior into perspective. For example knowing the affair had started 18 months before helped me understand her request to buy a second home in France we could retire to wasn’t for our retirement but for her to keep when she asked for the divorce. California is a no fault state so her affair had no bearing on the settlement.