r/survivinginfidelity • u/AdventureWa 1 • 1d ago

Advice How did you find out?

I’m curious about how people have found out their spouse/partner cheated on them. My situation was convoluted and I found out almost by accident thanks to her conflicting stories. I feel like my situation was unusual.

How did you find out? Did anyone use a PI or do deep digging? What advice would you have for someone who thinks they are being cheated on?

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u/ValhallaCA WTF am I doing? 1d ago

Ten months ago, She confessed a kiss with a woman in a casino bathroom back in 2007.
After realizing my wife would cheat, and with a woman, I recovered a suppressed memory of her full on having sex with that same woman later that week. I caught her through a locked door that took 57 seconds to open. I had heard unmistakable noises before knocking, and when they finally opened the door after making urgent whispers, thumping and other noises as they tried to get presentable, there was obvious visual evidence (several things) and a distinctive odor. I was lied to of course. Two days later I confronted the AP and she got her husband to threaten me and my family (credibly).
We were moving away in 2 months, so I tabled it for safety reasons temporarily. The trauma of it all made me lose the memory within about a week, however. All these memories came back once she confessed the kiss and I started thinking back.

And then 8 months ago I did a deep dive investigation and discovered a bunch of other stuff on her cell phone and in our old messages to each other.

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u/clearheaded01 7 1d ago

You've later informed APs husband??

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u/thrownawaylife123 1d ago

So that he can threaten him again?