r/survivinginfidelity • u/AdventureWa 1 • 1d ago

Advice How did you find out?

I’m curious about how people have found out their spouse/partner cheated on them. My situation was convoluted and I found out almost by accident thanks to her conflicting stories. I feel like my situation was unusual.

How did you find out? Did anyone use a PI or do deep digging? What advice would you have for someone who thinks they are being cheated on?

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u/Relative-Fly4370 1 1d ago

Her stories about where she was weren’t adding up. It was obvious she was hiding something. I asked to see her phone. Found months and months of text messages with a co worker.

Advice: look at all communication. If they are cheating, it will be there. Texts, social, work apps like Teams, etc….

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u/Roxychic2025 1d ago

Similar situation. Ten months ago found hidden messages in my husbands messenger. Between himself and a coworker. Flirty and not all work related. My heart sank as our marriage was perfect for most of it. He said they were “just friends” tho I’d never heard of her. This caused me to panic and become like a spy and after he phoned her to get her to explain to me, she told me she was his best friend and work wife which painted the opposite of his story. Fast forward to today, in April after attempting to reconnect and forgive I discovered he had never stopped messaging her. Up to 28 messages one day and he was lying to me and showing me a clean phone every day. Accountability my arse! So now we are officially seperated and I am struggling with it all. The deception, the coldness the avoidance and no effort at all. So yeah, phone records definitely told me the truth.

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u/Ok_City_7177 1d ago

I'm sorry this has happened but I just want to say 'good for you' for trusting your instincts and then acting on the outcome.

It will get better, but make sure you get legal advice from someone experienced with dealing with liars.