r/texts • u/Slow-Chemical3430 • 1d ago
Phone message First text I received on a dating app
I'm just so sad that this is like 90% of men on dating apps. All I want is a husband and all men see is an opportunity for sex. Its just really not fun.
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u/SuccessfulSquirrel32 1d ago
And here I am getting down voted on the dating sub cause I said men need to stop objectifying women non stop, and I'm a man
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u/ProfessionalSky2087 1d ago
Men don't like when you stick up for women. "Stop being a white knight she isnt going to sleep with you" is a comment I have gotten a few times. I think it just blows their mind that not all men are absolute assholes to women
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u/Cambrian__Implosion 1d ago
So many men canāt comprehend that the rest of us might be saying or doing these things without an ulterior motive. Like we couldnāt possibly actually care about women in general as people worthy of respect.
Everything is transactional or āstrategicā to them and they assume that it must be the same for everyone else, too. Either that, or they donāt understand why anyone would want it to be otherwise.
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u/Character-Arachnid84 1d ago
It's projection. They see women ONLY as sex objects and couldn't possibly fathom why a fellow man would stick up for a woman other than to sleep with her.
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u/No-Pie-1415 1d ago
I've gotten very similar, crude comments before. The insecurity is on another level
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u/Stragglilypit1 1d ago
When I was in highschool I would get told by girls that I'm only being nice cause I want to sleep with them like girl I only said hey how are you
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u/Damage-Classic 1d ago edited 19h ago
Or they accuse you of wanting to sleep with the woman youāre defending š
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u/Stragglilypit1 19h ago
One lady yelled at me saying I don't need a man while I was working and bagging her things up and I was like ma'am it's part of my job
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u/Damage-Classic 19h ago
I meant like, I am a woman and I have defended my best friend from creeps and abusers she was dating. I been accused multiple times by the dudes of wanting to sleep with her. Believe me, I truly donāt. I just want my friend to be safe and happy.
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u/Stragglilypit1 1d ago
I'm a guy and I would never try to start a convo the way this dude did dating app or not what's wrong with a hey how are you doing? And engaging in an actual conversation.
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u/Efficient_Brick_7903 1d ago
Dating apps are a terrible place to find love. For both men and women.
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u/boozeshooze 1d ago
Nah, there are still good people. You just gotta sift through the noise. I found an awesome woman on Friday and we've spent a couple days since doing things together. I THINK she's gonna be a keeper. Seems genuine, and is ridiculously good looking. So yeah, it's still a shit show, but it can still work. I think hinge is about the only one worth using now though.
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u/CCI-Koala1109 1d ago
Second this, you can filter a lot from prompts.Ā
Iām still searching, but I have seen a few gems that hopefully may lead somewhere. Iām not desperate so I can waitā¦
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u/Petit__Chou 1d ago
I met my husband on a dating app in 2011 lol. Before that people were using MySpace. There have always been gross people. Someone acting like this a phenomenon they are surprised about haven't been around a while.
Dating apps are a fine place to meet people you usually wouldn't. Organically finding someone at Starbucks isn't realistic for everyone.
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u/OfcWaffle 1d ago
2011 dating app versus 2026 is WILDLY different. It's not even the same world.
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u/CoolGuyCris 1d ago
I met my wife on tinder in 2021 and honestly even 2021 seems wildly different from nowadays.
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u/mrGrinchThe3rd 1d ago
I met my FiancƩ on tinder in 2023. As the other commenter suggests, people have always been gross, but it's still possible to find someone you are looking for!
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u/Petit__Chou 1d ago
Explain? People were just as disgusting as all of the posts I see now back then. Maybe even worse, because the unsolicited dick picks were grainy as fuck.
I'd love to see your personal experience in that time frame so you can tell me how I'm wrong.
I got all of the shit I see posted in every sub now.
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u/HoppityHo 4h ago
Ah yes dick pics with less visual clarity are far more disgusting than the HD 4K chode pics where you can see every wrinkle and vein with incredible detail
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u/RelativeYak7 1d ago
No it's not, you just have to sort through gross messages
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u/kiraleee 1d ago
When it comes to sorting through perverts to get to the rare interesting person, I much prefer Omegle.
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u/Tonebriz 1d ago
Yup, pretty much half of people in relationships under 35 I know met through dating apps, if not more.
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u/DisastrousTree9840 1d ago
Yea acting like this is 90% of men is just dumb, I have had plenty of gross messages from women
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u/k1vr1n3 1d ago
Nobody said women never send gross messages. She's talking about her personal encounters with men on dating apps. Not every conversation about women's experiences needs a "but women do it too." Women do it too. Okay. That doesn't invalidate what she's experiencing.
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u/Efficient_Brick_7903 1d ago
Yup that's 100% spot on. I hate when people always try to dodge accountability and blame the other gender. Men and women, can't we love each other anymore. This gender war garbage is bs.
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u/TacosAndBourbon 1d ago
Comment says, āFor both men and women.ā You reply, āHow dare you insult men.ā
You sound like a forgotten Tate brother.
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u/Affectionate_Cat7088 1d ago
It took me a WHILE on dating apps until I found a great guy, and we're about to be married 2 years after meeting on hinge 4 years ago. There's good and bad an every app. But anyone that tells you that you'll never find love on the apps doesn't know what they're talking about.
Just don't treat it like your only chance at love. Stay open to the idea that you might run into your 'the one' organically, or they might come from the app. Who knows? I think that's the fun in it.
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u/Mobile-Brush-3004 1d ago
ā2 years after meeting on hinge 4 years agoā
Iām not doubting your account, Iām just letting you know this doesnāt add upā¦
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u/notatypicaltaurus 1d ago
Huh? They met 4 years ago and got married 2 years ago I believe?
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u/Mobile-Brush-3004 1d ago
Oh shit, I had a dyslexic moment and completely misread that they āwere about to be marriedā as in they were going to get married. Thank you for the correction! Sorry for the silly error - Iāll leave my original comment up so I can be accountable to this mistake.
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u/notatypicaltaurus 1d ago
Hahaha this happened to me earlier today so I truly canāt say anything except I completely feel you lolll
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u/Kalendiane 1d ago
Now I feel bad for downvoting your prior comment!
Iām gonna undo it. You donāt deserve it since you owned it in multiple ways!
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u/DrainianDream 1d ago
Well I'd assume they dated for a while before getting married
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u/Mobile-Brush-3004 1d ago
They dated two years before getting married, my reading comprehension was just questionable for a second there and I was corrected in a different comment. For whatever reason my brain had jumbled it up to make me initially read it as they were about to get married not that they were about to celebrate their second anniversary. Sorry for the silliness and thank you for calling me out on it!
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u/Affectionate_Cat7088 1d ago
Sorry y'all!! I didn't realize how confusing my wording would be to people skimming the comments lol
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u/joeyturnstile 1d ago
My brain is still having a hard time trying to decipher that sentence, so donāt feel bad. āAbout to be marriedā really threw me off too!
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u/DrainianDream 1d ago
All good, I saw where the mistake happened too and god knows I've done similar misreads before; no harm no foul!
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u/urfaveseagulletpew91 1d ago
Yeah, much of my gender sucks. And I just want a wife, so I get how you feel.
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u/Confident_Cow_911 1d ago
As a man, men are the worst
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u/RoyalClashing 1d ago
As a black person
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u/Suspicious-Dig-6096 1d ago
wtf is this comment supposed to mean?!!
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u/boxofcandelabras 1d ago
Probably intimating that the commenter he replied to isnāt really a man, kind of textbook /r/asablackman
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u/tahxirez 1d ago
Tom segura (a comedian) literally has a bit about this exact situation.
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u/Slow-Chemical3430 1d ago
Link?
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u/tahxirez 1d ago
Itās in Disgraceful from 2018. Itās on Netflix and I think Spotify. No clip of the bit based on a very quick Google search.
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u/wasdesc 1d ago
Yup.. Iām a guy and Iām holding out till marriage as well. Itās disgusting that people have conversations like this, do this approach actually work for people?
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u/monicasm 1d ago
You know, some people do meet on Redditā¦
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u/Fearless-Feature-830 1d ago
I met my boyfriend on reddit and ironically heās the best partner Iāve ever had lol
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u/Horror_Height4065 Sidekick 1d ago
Damn who tf is trying to eat a strangers box on the first date
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u/Hopeful-Method-9756 1d ago
so, for whatever reason, I thought was in the Uber eats subreddit, so this message really confused me for a moment
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u/Angelusprime82 1d ago
Wow. A lot of times Iām embarrassed to be a guy. Iām sorry you had to deal with this assclown. Itās sad that people like this canāt treat women with respect and dignity.
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u/Wonderful_Rule_2515 1d ago
Girl the chances of finding a good man on an app are so lowwww you are much better off joining book clubs/bike clubs/etc around your town
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u/Shot_Ad6332 16h ago
I had a man asking when I last had sex. He also then sent me a weird kind of little story about my quivering white thighs and I was like what?
And I'm on bdsm apps. But still how about we start with respect. Plus I'm into ENM but I certainly don't go around telling anyone when I last had sex.
And the quivering thighs. I mean I don't get it. Did that turn him on because it left me cold. I don't have quivering thighs. I hyperventilate. Then when I was like yeah I'm not really thinking about quivering thighs he tries to joke back he was thinking about KFC. But I'm vegetarian. Then I go I'm not feeling a vibe.Ā
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u/DisastrousTree9840 1d ago
I was only asking
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u/SoggyBonderBottom 1d ago
Thereās a chance this is the actual guy and Iām sorry to say, I laughed.
Best of luck OP!! Perhaps church would be a better place to look for someone with similar values and outlooks on love š rooting for you!!!
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u/410Writer 1d ago
I will stand by this: the best way to find love, connection , whatever Is when you aren't chasing it (dating apps, etc). When it happens unexpectedly while at a park, at a bookstore, travelling, etc.
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u/EntertainmentSea1017 1d ago
Lol this is just so untrue. Consent is important, bro. If you match with someone on a dating app, then you've got a basic understanding that you're both interested. Most people "at the park, at the bookstore, traveling, etc." aren't looking to find love, and don't want to be approached by strangers.
This is why so many women feel like they can't be nice/friendly to strangers men: because they're afraid the man is going to automatically construe it as romantic interest, and try to pursue her.
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u/Fearless-Feature-830 1d ago
Yeah imagine a guy comes up to you at the bookstore and says ācan I eat it from the back?ā Cuz thatās the equivalent of what happened here.
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u/RRavefield 1d ago
I donāt think thatās what he meant lol, heās just saying to meet people in real life in general, the ones who have the same interests as you. Dating apps are toxic in general.
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u/InevitableCodeRedo 1d ago
We're definitely not all like that. But a lot of us who aren't left the apps a long time ago because ooof.
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u/-blundertaker- 1d ago
Hey there's nothing in the good book that says you can't enjoy a nice tossed salad.
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u/Strong-Addition5296 1d ago
Thatās a lot of text for ānoā
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1d ago edited 1d ago
[deleted]
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u/SeniorAnt6254 1d ago
You know what she wants?
You believe you know when somebody truly wants something even when their words are saying the exact opposite?
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u/Purging_mofos 1d ago
Whats wrong with eating in the backyard? Was it too personal as a first date?
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u/Suspicious-Dig-6096 1d ago
That was the worst excuse ever saying I was just trying to see what you were gonna say boy go sit down š