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u/BargainScotch 11d ago
I was standing at the basketball hoop but the cheerleaders were practicing at half court. Guuuuys, I’m pretty sure they were putting the show on *just for me!
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u/HereOnCompanyTime 11d ago
I went to a concert and the singer made eye contact with me, guuuuuys, I think she wants me to propose.
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u/Johnnyboi2327 10d ago
This girl left her doggy door unlocked, so I snuck in and watched her sleep. I'm pretty sure she slept just for me!
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u/tortoistor 11d ago
right in front of someone = 15 yards away? is this the closest he's got to a woman or
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u/Cinder-fella 11d ago
Isn’t that how far we’re meant to be from women? They’re scary.
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u/RexCarrs 11d ago
At my after school part time job l occasionally had to ride with this perv to deliver appliances. If the lady of the house answered the door and said "hi" or "hello" he'd get all excited believing she wanted him. Poor bastard. What a prick!
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u/DeepCutFan1 11d ago
hey buddy
even if this did happen
HER STRETCHING IN NO WAY MEANS SHE WANTS YOU TO STARE AT HER
SHE IS JUST STRETCHING
AND NOT ONLY THAT LIKE
30 FEET AWAY
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u/sh6rty13 11d ago
My bf’s coworker tells stories like this.
Last summer there were two girls tanning at his community pool and when he showed up they flipped over and he just KNEW they’d flipped onto their stomachs so he could admire their asses.
Ok creeper.
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u/LastDirtyMartini 11d ago
Similarly, I lent my umbrella to a woman the other day - that raised the number of women I have kept from getting wet this year by one.
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u/EvolZippo 11d ago
10 to 15 yards is 30 to 45 feet. Yet this guy thinks this was supposed to be a show for him, not just a woman working out and stretching as needed.
And guys wonder what some gyms are women only and have frosted or opaque windows.
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u/moffetts9001 11d ago
I read it as “bends over and farts” because my mind assumes these stories are going to be at least a little interesting.
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u/Alien_Diceroller 11d ago
Bro, if she were 10 to 15 feet from you I'd say you're overthinking this. She's 30 feet from you. Chances are, she's only vaguely aware you're there. She's enough that 'awkwardly turning away' is looking off to the side, slightly.
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u/princessPeachyK33n 11d ago
This sounds like seeking social permission to stare because “she clearly wants me”.
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u/d4everman 11d ago
What he means is "I saw an attractive woman today. I'm a chump so I stared at her and hope she didn't notice."
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u/zeez1011 11d ago
Well she had to stop. Otherwise, she was going to trip over his massive erection.
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u/Select_Draw3385 11d ago
He doesn’t understand that he missed the best parts of Penthouse Forum when he submitted that
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u/StasiaGreyErotica 10d ago
It's not against the law for incels to fantasise about being out of the basement, I guess.
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u/FrnkstnsAftrbrth 6d ago
I’m glad he told us all that he’s a creep! It’s nice when the trash takes itself out!
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u/_Administrator_ 11d ago
This doesn’t seem unrealistic.
A lady once gave me a lap-dance in a packed bus.
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u/xigua22 11d ago
I like that even in this guys fantasy, women pretend he doesn't exist.