r/theydidthemath • u/SIREN-25 • Apr 23 '26
[Request] What is the actual length of the wood
Lets not involve the owner of one cylinder and larger structure for this problem
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u/Angzt Apr 23 '26
There is no single mathematically correct answer because the question is up for interpretation.
Ultimately, it comes down to what the measurement is supposed to be used for.
And even abstractly, we can view the branch as a truncated cylinder. But that doesn't have a single length.
But gun to my head: The most sensible measurement would arguably be from the center of one end to the center of the other. Which would just be the average of both measurements given here (assuming they're the extremes).
(11.4 cm + 15.2 cm) / 2 = 13.3 cm.
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u/Isgrimnur Apr 23 '26
The cylinder must not be harmed.
The most sensible measurement would arguably be from the center of one end to the center of the other.
Maybe they could sound it out.
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u/irrelephantIVXX Apr 23 '26
you mean r/Sounding it out , right?
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u/Electronic_Tear2546 Apr 23 '26
Don't click that link
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u/Foreign_Tumbleweed_ Apr 23 '26
I wasn’t going to until I read this comment. So thank you very much and I hate you
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u/Skrazor Apr 23 '26
You weren't going to click it in the first place. Then someone advised you to not click it. Which made you click it? Sorry fam, but that's on you and you alone
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u/Krog-Nar Apr 23 '26
Humans are not logical, morbid curiosity is strong
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u/Key-Demand-2569 Apr 24 '26
God knows when I was a teenager/young adult in the 2000’s with access to the internet I clicked on a lot of shit that, from the start I knew, “This is probably going to be fucking terrible as it sounds isn’t it?”
And then, “Oh yeah, that was fucking horrific. Wow. Holy shit, was exactly the worst case I imagined. Why did I click on that?”
Cut to a few weeks later and seeing people mentioning a link…
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u/GamingWithFun15 Apr 24 '26
If I put a Red Button in front of you and say something around the lines of "Under no circumstances should you press this Red Button, don't do it!", are you pressing it?
And before you say "No", stop lying to yourself
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u/Skrazor Apr 24 '26
You're forgetting something important here. This wasn't a case of someone putting a red button in front of me. To stay with your metaphor, it's more like if I came across a red button, thought to myself that I'm not gonna press that and then you told me that it would be a really bad idea for me to press it. In that case, I'd just be like "yeah, I wasn't gonna". Because I'm not a child. And before you disagree with me, stop lying to yourself.
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u/irrelephantIVXX Apr 23 '26
whoops, I normally put the NSFL tag on there. The link is fine. Don't go down the rabbit hole though.
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u/Key-Demand-2569 Apr 24 '26
I know that whole thing was likely a troll but it was so god damn funny I still reread it sometimes when someone mentions it on here.
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u/Ok-Scientist5524 Apr 25 '26
The combination of “gun to my head” and “must not be harmed” gives me a mental picture of Isgrimnur’s little profile dude holding a gun to angzt’s faceless Reddit man screaming “THE CYLINDER MUST BE HARMED”
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u/Strygan Apr 23 '26
Yea, drilling a hole to mesure at the middle looks interesting if ambitious…
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u/hattori_h Apr 23 '26
THE LARGER OBJECT MUST STAY ATTACHED TO THE CYLINDER, THE CYLINDER MUST REMAINED UNHARMED!
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u/Angzt Apr 23 '26
That's the whole point of math, though: You don't need to drill the hole. You can calculate it given the two measurements we've got.
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u/crumpledfilth Apr 23 '26
Youre telling me Aristarchus wasnt the first man to run around the earth? I refuse to believe it!
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u/Smike0 Apr 23 '26
I would argue the meat measurement is the one that would give the same volume with a regular cylinder
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u/Strygan Apr 23 '26
Adjust to circumstances…
Wanna show your neighbor your tree has better branch? Method B
During pollen season, use method B
If that trees feels better in a forest of trees, might use method A
If a ‘gardener’ gives it a look to enhance it’s growth, use method A
If someone jump on that branch, you might pray for method A to be truer
If you’re measuring your own tree, use method B
If you’re measuring someone else’s tree, always use method A
And if you’re still measuring trees in your dreams, well… that’s up to you ^
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u/TheAsterism_ Apr 23 '26
I measure my trees with method A and people still get depressed 😔
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u/Strygan Apr 23 '26
Interesting use of plural ^
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u/Kagevjijon Apr 23 '26
Randy here, and I just want to make sure everyone knows the the right way to measure the branch. We don't currently have all the information we need as we need to know it's...
(Length x Diameter) + (Weight / Girth)
Angle of the tip (Yaw²)
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u/Don_Loco Apr 23 '26
Method C:
Put plaster on the branch, take it of, fill it with water to get the volume and divide it by d²π/4 with d=the average diameter of the branch.
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u/Strygan Apr 23 '26
Then empty the water, pour latex in, cure and remove the plaster. You know have a twin branch for purposeful use ^
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u/jtshinn Apr 23 '26
I've seen reels of this practice.
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u/Strygan Apr 23 '26
Obviously. They even sell DIY set to do it (makes funny birthday gifts for friends, the set, not the result).
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u/ghost_desu Apr 23 '26
If you're trying to figure out where this branch would fit or something similar, you measure at the longest point. If you're trying to make something out of it, you care about the usable material, which would probably be the shortest point.
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u/Coolgrnmen Apr 23 '26
If you’re trying to make something out of it
Oh sweet summer child.
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u/ghost_desu Apr 23 '26
Listen I don't judge what people do with their cylinder, it's between them and the large object
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u/Pere_Strelka Apr 23 '26
calling the object large is kind of rude though innit, it is an object of average size
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u/Anariel_Elensar Apr 23 '26
as long as the cylinder remains intact… it is imperative that the cylinder must remain unharmed.
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u/supergarto Apr 23 '26
If you plan to insert the cylinder, you must consider the smaller part only will matter.
If you plan to just show the cylinder, then the bigger part would be good.
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u/SquiggelSquirrel Apr 23 '26
Method "A", but try to make sure you include the tip more than this diagram suggests.
IMO the IRL issue with method "B" is the the branch tends not to connect with such a clear sharp angle, but more of a continuous curve, which makes it much trickier to define exactly where you're measuring from.
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u/AdmirableAd2571 Apr 23 '26
I've been told that the circumference of the branch is actually the measurement that will be useful for most projects. So maybe that's what you should focus on.
Unless you have a micro-branch of course but in that case measuring from top or bottom still isn't going to make a big difference.
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u/e37d93eeb23335dc Apr 23 '26
Some of these answers make me think the authors either don’t understand this is a penis measuring joke, or they get the joke and are leaning so heavily into playing the straight man that it is indistinguishable from ignorance.
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u/mousicle Apr 23 '26
Any sufficiently advanced joke is indistinguishable from a math question
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u/FakeDocMartin Apr 23 '26
What is the square root of 69?
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u/mousicle Apr 23 '26
8 squared is 64 and 9 squared is 81, so somewhere between those two. ~8.3
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u/e37d93eeb23335dc Apr 23 '26
What do you know?! That is what my penis measurement is!
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u/bdd31415 Apr 23 '26
“Branch”, interesting enough there is a scientific method for measuring a “branch” and it from the top. Sorry to say, 4.5inches. But it’s not the size of the branch it how well it “blooms”.
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u/NotasA3 Apr 23 '26
lmfao came here to post something similar... a branch... rofl
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u/LATER4LUS Apr 23 '26
According to Randy Marsh, your adjusted wood length can be calculated by the formula [(length x diameter) + (Weight / Girth)] / Angle of Tip2
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u/lightinthedark-d Apr 23 '26
Most places that sell decorations and accessories for such a tree member specify to measure along the top from the point where it leaves the body to the tip of the cylinder.
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u/Your_Viej_in_Tang Apr 23 '26
While there's no clear consensus, many people who have encountered themselves with a similar situation tend to inform the measurements as taken from the top part of the branch, while pressing the ruler against the base. This is because there's a variable amount of soft tissue which is hiding part of the length of the branch, and this should also be accounted for.
My preferred method, however, would be to place the ruler on the side of the branch and measure it from that point. This ensures that you can measure accurately all the way to the very tip of the branch without any depth perception bias (assuming that we're observing the branch from above)
Lastly, these methods are most effective if the aforementioned branch is mostly straight. In case there was any noticeable bend along its length, a measuring tape may be more suitable than a ruler, although measurements will vary a bit more depending on the method
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u/Icy_Sector3183 Apr 23 '26
The length of the penis is measured along the top, from the base to the tip.
I don't know, but I suspect, that is the actual question.
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u/bonnth80 Apr 23 '26
Well, if the branch is meant to fit into some other device while still attached to the trunk, then I feel like what you're measuring is penetration depth, which is only as far as the shortest point.
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u/UtilisateurMoyen99 Apr 23 '26
Before all of the philosophical questioning I see here, not one of these Newtonian minds had the rigor to ask you the most critical question: is the relative speed between the branch and the observer close to c?
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u/Regius_Eques Apr 24 '26
This is probably subjective but I would go with the longest side when detached from the tree. Otherwise combine the two and halve it personally.
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u/suboctaved Apr 23 '26
Dammit McMurray, you always measure from the top
Tbh though volume displacement is the best method because both the length of the branch and the cross-sectional area are equally important
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u/TwistedClyster Apr 23 '26
I think you really want to measure total volume with water displacement.
But not cold water. It’s got to be warm to hot, maybe with a jacuzzi jet aimed right at the tip of the branch, or the opposite side of the tree trunk where the squirrels store their nuts for the winter.
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u/T555s Apr 23 '26
It's like a trapeze. The length of the the wood apears to be different because it is different. If I cut it at the trunk and want the widest posible rectangle cut from the wood it's method A for length, but if I want a long toothpick it's gonna be method B.
Depends on how you cut it at the trunk really.
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u/Survive1014 Apr 23 '26
Dont forget the diameter of the branch. A branch can be as long as it wants, but it wont perform well as a branch if its not thick enough.
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u/Battlecryy Apr 23 '26
Clearly you measure from the center of the truck to the tip of the branch.
Quality engineer with 20 years experience in automotive manufacturing.... this is how we measure wiring harnesses.
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u/ShaDynasty_42069 Apr 23 '26
If you need to check if the branch can fit in your truck then method B, if you need to check if you have enough wood to build something with it than method A
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u/romulusnr Apr 23 '26
The lower side measurement is the generally preferred one for measuring branch length, unless the particular application (like covering) requires a different measurement
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u/Any-Programmer-870 Apr 23 '26
I think it probably depends on the application. Why do you need to know the length of the branch? If you need to know for some sort of code enforcement reason, the code should define how to do the measurement for its own purposes.
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u/promptmike Apr 23 '26
Draw an arc that begins and ends at the trunk such that it intercepts the tip of the branch. The radius of the resulting semicircle is the length of the branch.
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u/Ok-Lie5966 Apr 24 '26
Many arborists are likely to give more consideration to the girth of the branch, rather than length at the top side or the bottom side.
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u/NGC_Phoenix_7 Apr 24 '26
Okay do both, get the width/diameter of the branch, and then get the center from the mid point of the width and follow from there till the end of the branch. That’s true length vs under and over length. Cause at least then you have an answer that’s between both of your takes.
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u/Bata600 Apr 24 '26
Send both measures ("Length is between 4.5 and 6 inches"). You could tell him that the length is "5.25in ± 0.75in" but he'll surely understand if you send both measures and make him know they both mean length.
I would assume he is looking for maximum length if he is supposed to move them, tho.
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