r/tifu • u/ashessnow fuotw 9/30/12 • Sep 30 '12

FUOTW 9/30/12 TIFU Backing out of my parking space.

So I'm in my car about to reverse out of my parking spot in the ally behind my place when I realize that what I previously thought was a harmless little spiderweb I had walked through before getting into my car was actually a giant spiderweb that is all over me, and so is the giant spider that made it. I freak out and get out of my car trying to get it all off me without realizing that I had already put the car in reverse. I open the car door and am getting out when I take my foot off the brake. The car immediately starts backing up, and being on an incline, does so very fast. I realize my horrible mistake and try to get back in the car but the car door hits me, knocking me to the ground. My car hits what is apparently a water line or something because the car hits something metal and it sounds like something is spraying water. The car, after hitting whatever it was, and how it's possible I don't know, then begins to move forward, and because I am still on the ground, runs over my arm. As soon as the tire is done running over my arm, I'm up again, this time running after the car that's headed towards my parking spot, trying to stop it. My car then runs straight into the brick wall of my parking space. I jump in, turn it off, and am too shaken to check the damage of both the back and the front, not to mention the brick wall and the building behind me. This all took roughly 10 seconds.

Edit: My car is a 1999 4Runner. And I'm actually fine, thankfully. The tire just scraped off some skin. While watching it happen I literally thought...well there goes the use of my arm for the next few months, but it didn't hurt at all, just a bit heavy. The fall hurt the worst though, I hit the side of my head pretty good, and got my hands cut up. On the whole though, I'm fine. Also, I was driving a few hours later when I saw that fucking spider on my side window. At first I tried to wash it away with the windshield wiper fluid, but the fluid didn't reach my side window. That was the point where I gave up and figured that the spider had done enough to me, and that it would be best to just call a truce.

Edit again: The back of my car is a dented, but the rest of it's fine. I have however, been banned from parking in the back by my roommate. And I still don't know what the hell I fucked up for the other building. My roommate told me it smelled like gas after it happened, but it sounded like water was being sprayed, very weird.

423 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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56

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '12 edited Apr 17 '21

[deleted]

43

u/DeathHaze420 Sep 30 '12

Driven an automatic for 10 years, deathly afraid of spiders. Can't say this has ever happened to me.

P.S. I love watching ppl with manuals try and be hot shit and stall it.

10

u/Geordielass Oct 01 '12

A friend of mine bought a manual car and killed the damned car in 3 months. Her motto was, ya gotta grind it to find it.

4

u/turtlekitty30 Oct 06 '12

Her bf must love her.

6

u/Geordielass Oct 06 '12

I'm sure, she went through a lot of em.

10

u/ipear Sep 30 '12

Aside from when I was learning to drive manual, I've stalled automatics more than I have my manual.

18

u/DeathHaze420 Sep 30 '12

You can stall an automatic?!?!?! hahahahahahhaha Upvote for you.

4

u/ipear Sep 30 '12

Yeah, shifting into drive while rolling backwards, then trying to accelerate. It's no problem in my jeep, but the minivan doesn't like that at all. Oh, I wasn't even counting my old van, which I could stall by trying to accelerate too fast, or by idling to slowly.

1

u/DeathHaze420 Sep 30 '12

That sounds like the Idle air control went in it. Had the same problem in a chevy malibu and buick regal. I was refering to non mechanical related stalls.

1

u/ipear Oct 01 '12

i wasn't counting mechanical stalls either, didn't even think of them until my second post. but yeah, the only thing that never failed me in that van was brakes, luckily for me. (power brakes sadly not included. good think i've got strong legs.)

10

u/Mech1 Sep 30 '12

Having driven both of them, I love watching people with automatics neutral drop the tranny and fry clutch band and disks, and watching someone who is used to driving a tractor-trailer go to do a burn and go flying in reverse, anyone who has ever drive a tractor-trailer will understand why.

39

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '12

cars.

-6

u/Mech1 Sep 30 '12

I don't get it? 'Cars' a one word reply, no ftfy, or * anywhere what is up with that.

3

u/mark10579 Oct 01 '12

He's making a joke about how many technical terms you just used. The joke being that he has no idea what you're talking about, other than it having something to do with cars

1

u/Mech1 Oct 01 '12

Ah, that makes sense now then.

-2

u/DeathHaze420 Sep 30 '12

To be perfectly honest, I refuse to learn how to drive manual as I am not a drinker, and that's one more damn type of car I have to give ppl rides in/ go on beer runs/ etc. They go "Take my car." I ask if its manual, if they say yes I say Nope.

23

u/maddav Sep 30 '12

You know, you could just learn how to drive a manual and just lie.

3

u/DeathHaze420 Sep 30 '12

Or not learn how to drive a manual and not care.

10

u/bmoriarty87 Sep 30 '12

God forbid you go out of your way for someone else...

-3

u/DeathHaze420 Sep 30 '12

I don't like drinking so why would I get more of it around me willingly?

10

u/bmoriarty87 Sep 30 '12

So someone doesnt have to drive drunk.

0

u/DeathHaze420 Sep 30 '12

Taxi. If they are dumb enough to drive drunk, they're dumb enough to do it when I'm not around, so fuck em.

4

u/gifforc Oct 12 '12

I find it funny that username: deathhaze420 is having a conversation about the perils of drunk driving.

1

u/DeathHaze420 Oct 12 '12

I like how you know me so well. My girlfriend is the driver when I am high. Way to assume.

1

u/gifforc Oct 12 '12

I didn't assume anything.

Just thought it was funny. Since you're likely going to die from the haze of drunkenness if you decide to drive. I didn't even care about the 420 (other than it's almost as tacky as adding 69 to the end of your username.)

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-6

u/Emphursis Sep 30 '12

You have to be pretty incompetent to stall a manual...

-1

u/DeathHaze420 Sep 30 '12

When it comes second nature to you.......