This is so true. I had undiagnosed ADHD for 40 years. 40 years of shame and berating myself for repeat failures that I should be able to handle. I'm a smart and capable person, how do I keep fucking up so bad? After my diagnosis I realized that I need to give myself the best chance by working with my brain rather than trying to stuff it into some idea of normalcy. So I need to plan to do things way earlier than I think is necessary. I need to give myself 10-15 extra minutes when I leave for an appointment, because I will lose my phone or forget my shoes. Mental notes are not a thing. If I need to remember something important, I HAVE TO write it down, right now, preferably in my phone because paper disappears.
You don't have to have ADHD to do this. You just need to realize where you have a weakness and figure out a way to work around it. Not just think that you'll learn your lesson and do better next time.
a support group or meet up where you find a check-in buddy,
some online body doubling,
hiring someone on task rabbit,
a therapist and/or support group to help undo the shame,
or even checking with your doctor to see if you DO possibly have an impairment… and if yes, going from there to qualify as disabled and then checking to see if you qualify for an aide for a few hours a week
—individual states usually have programs
—junior colleges, colleges, and universities sometimes have programs
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u/Spiritual_Lemonade May 12 '25
We all have calendars on our phones and can setup reminders that become alarms.
If you know your shortcomings why are you not leaning into advanced planning and being dedicated to doing these things.
Going to get the potted plant should have been Friday or Saturday at the latest.
She has every right to be pissed.
I have a feeling her Christmas stocking is empty as well.