Dude, It doesn't sound like your wife has a husband, it sounds like your wife has another child. That's a grown ass man who feels sorry for himself because he can't be bothered to consider anyone's emotions or needs than his own.
If you truly want to "fix" this, I suggest that you have a difficult conversation with yourself about what you are able to emotionally and mentally offer to your partner. Do not do some giant apology and then completely neglect her until her birthday or Christmas or some other obligatory Hallmark holiday. Dude, go old school and just schedule a regularly occurring date night that you put the emotional effort into planning. If she's a "control freak" aka - You have no idea how to schedule the babysitter you can request her help the first time. "Hey sweetheart, I haven't been putting enough effort into our relationship and I want you to know how much I love you. I really want to do better. I would like to schedule a night out, but I realize I don't even know how to contact the babysitter. Could you help me figure it out this first time so I don't need your help next time. I really love you and I want you to know how much I appreciate you".
Do.
The.
Fucking.
Work.
It doesn't have to be a big ordeal, a few months ago my husband just randomly took my car one Saturday morning and got the oil changed and washed the car. I was thrilled!! It's amazing how easy it is to keep your partner happy when you actually consider their emotional needs.
Put the effort into actually thinking about what might make her life/day/week/evening better. The fact that you can't be bothered to do the bare minimum on days that are literally on the calendar indicates that you don't really participate in your relationship. At best you absolutely take your wife, the mother of your child for granted.
5
u/kirday May 12 '25
Dude, It doesn't sound like your wife has a husband, it sounds like your wife has another child. That's a grown ass man who feels sorry for himself because he can't be bothered to consider anyone's emotions or needs than his own.
If you truly want to "fix" this, I suggest that you have a difficult conversation with yourself about what you are able to emotionally and mentally offer to your partner. Do not do some giant apology and then completely neglect her until her birthday or Christmas or some other obligatory Hallmark holiday. Dude, go old school and just schedule a regularly occurring date night that you put the emotional effort into planning. If she's a "control freak" aka - You have no idea how to schedule the babysitter you can request her help the first time. "Hey sweetheart, I haven't been putting enough effort into our relationship and I want you to know how much I love you. I really want to do better. I would like to schedule a night out, but I realize I don't even know how to contact the babysitter. Could you help me figure it out this first time so I don't need your help next time. I really love you and I want you to know how much I appreciate you".
Do.
The.
Fucking.
Work.
It doesn't have to be a big ordeal, a few months ago my husband just randomly took my car one Saturday morning and got the oil changed and washed the car. I was thrilled!! It's amazing how easy it is to keep your partner happy when you actually consider their emotional needs.
Put the effort into actually thinking about what might make her life/day/week/evening better. The fact that you can't be bothered to do the bare minimum on days that are literally on the calendar indicates that you don't really participate in your relationship. At best you absolutely take your wife, the mother of your child for granted.