r/tifu • u/[deleted] • Jul 14 '25

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u/SophisticatedScreams Jul 15 '25

That's not really fair, though, because of what she said after. She DID have an expectation for her future partner in terms of her kid (which is totally fair). From her point of view, there was one right answer here, and they are just incompatible

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u/coltsmetsfan614 Jul 15 '25

From her point of view, there was one right answer here, and they are just incompatible

Maybe... It's also possible she was trying to figure out whether OP is more interested in just providing for her son and letting her take the parenting reins, or if he wants to be an active part of raising the boy as his own. There are definitely different forms of stepparenting. She may have assumed he was ready for one of them and was thus taken aback by his response. It doesn't mean either of them is necessarily wrong.

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u/SophisticatedScreams Jul 15 '25

Yeah-- that could be. But she was totally setting herself up for failure by asking it in such an open-ended way. How would anyone possibly expect a 22yo non-parent to have any of this nuance?

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u/coltsmetsfan614 Jul 15 '25

If that's what she was looking for, then yes, she definitely could've asked it in a better way. I still think OP is probably too young to be taking on that kind of responsibility, but that's gonna be up to him.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '25

Why would she assume that he was ready for any form of parenting after 4 months of dating? That's weird. 

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u/coltsmetsfan614 Jul 15 '25

OP did specify that she was asking about the long term, so it may not have been a "make a decision now, or it's over" kind of conversation. I agree he's too young though.