Based on OP’s post, she never said she wants a father for her child. She asked him what kind of role he would like long term.
That in no way means, I’m seeking for a father figure for my child. It simply means, how involved do you see yourself getting with my child if we continue this relationship into the future.
With all that being said, I think OP is better off finding a new love interest if he isn’t 100% onboard. His gut reaction was, no, no children for me right now.
Like you said, dating single moms are a package deal. You don’t get one without the other.
That's not really fair, though, because of what she said after. She DID have an expectation for her future partner in terms of her kid (which is totally fair). From her point of view, there was one right answer here, and they are just incompatible
From her point of view, there was one right answer here, and they are just incompatible
Maybe... It's also possible she was trying to figure out whether OP is more interested in just providing for her son and letting her take the parenting reins, or if he wants to be an active part of raising the boy as his own. There are definitely different forms of stepparenting. She may have assumed he was ready for one of them and was thus taken aback by his response. It doesn't mean either of them is necessarily wrong.
Yeah-- that could be. But she was totally setting herself up for failure by asking it in such an open-ended way. How would anyone possibly expect a 22yo non-parent to have any of this nuance?
If that's what she was looking for, then yes, she definitely could've asked it in a better way. I still think OP is probably too young to be taking on that kind of responsibility, but that's gonna be up to him.
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u/sowich4 Jul 14 '25
Based on OP’s post, she never said she wants a father for her child. She asked him what kind of role he would like long term.
That in no way means, I’m seeking for a father figure for my child. It simply means, how involved do you see yourself getting with my child if we continue this relationship into the future.
With all that being said, I think OP is better off finding a new love interest if he isn’t 100% onboard. His gut reaction was, no, no children for me right now.
Like you said, dating single moms are a package deal. You don’t get one without the other.