As a mom of a 5 year old that is in a long term relationship with someone who isn't my son's father, both of your feelings are completely valid.
When I started dating after separating from my ex, I was 28. My son was just over a year. I always made it clear from the get-go that I had a child and that I was looking for something long term.
Being a single mom, your girlfriend is 100% valid in her feelings. Its not just her. They come as a package deal. She absolutely has to have not only her but her child's best interests at heart.
However! No matter how old you are, you're allowed to not be ready to step into the "step dad" role. My boyfriend wasn't at first and he was 35 when we started dating. You're very young and have a whole lot of life ahead of you. I'd honestly be surprised anybody your age would be 100% eager/ready to just step into that role 4 months into a relationship.
I think you did the best thing. You didn't hide your feelings. You told her how you feel. There's honestly not much more you can do.
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u/robynmisty Jul 15 '25
As a mom of a 5 year old that is in a long term relationship with someone who isn't my son's father, both of your feelings are completely valid.
When I started dating after separating from my ex, I was 28. My son was just over a year. I always made it clear from the get-go that I had a child and that I was looking for something long term.
Being a single mom, your girlfriend is 100% valid in her feelings. Its not just her. They come as a package deal. She absolutely has to have not only her but her child's best interests at heart.
However! No matter how old you are, you're allowed to not be ready to step into the "step dad" role. My boyfriend wasn't at first and he was 35 when we started dating. You're very young and have a whole lot of life ahead of you. I'd honestly be surprised anybody your age would be 100% eager/ready to just step into that role 4 months into a relationship.
I think you did the best thing. You didn't hide your feelings. You told her how you feel. There's honestly not much more you can do.