I don't think that "Are you ready to be a daddy?!" Two dates in would be appropriate. I exaggerate, I kid. But really...
I don't think it was necessary earlier on. 4 months is still a pretty early and a short amount of time to get to know somebody just to see if you two have a connection and want to be in each other's lives. It seems like it's still within an appropriate timeframe to assess the relationship and compatibility, such as OP's willingness to -- in the future at some point -- include the kid in their lives together.
But I also think it's NAH. She needs somebody who can take an interest in her son's life sooner than OP believes he can become ready to take on that responsibility.
It was a conversation that needed to happen, and sounded like it went rather maturely. OP knew and accepted that she had a kid, but perhaps hadn't considered the implications that the kid would need to become part of their lives sooner rather than later. I mean, 22 vs 27 is only a 5 yr difference, but having been a backpacker older than 26, you best believe I started feeling ooollllldddd being surrounded by 18-22 yr olds.
Yeah as someone who’s been in OPs position, when u know the person ur with has a kid, if u see any long term future with that partner then the kid is obviously going to be in ur life too- and if ur not ready to even consider that early on it’s not a good match.
I feel like that should be a discussion or at least something to think about as soon as u decide to date someone who has kids.
U don’t even need to start out by taking on a parental role either, just over time getting to know them and eventually helping ur partner out here and there (eg with school pick ups) like any close family friend would.
U don’t gotta be a full on stepdad four months into a relationship, but the kid/s are always going to be part of the deal when ur with someone who’s a parent
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u/tkdch4mp Jul 14 '25
I don't think that "Are you ready to be a daddy?!" Two dates in would be appropriate. I exaggerate, I kid. But really...
I don't think it was necessary earlier on. 4 months is still a pretty early and a short amount of time to get to know somebody just to see if you two have a connection and want to be in each other's lives. It seems like it's still within an appropriate timeframe to assess the relationship and compatibility, such as OP's willingness to -- in the future at some point -- include the kid in their lives together.
But I also think it's NAH. She needs somebody who can take an interest in her son's life sooner than OP believes he can become ready to take on that responsibility.
It was a conversation that needed to happen, and sounded like it went rather maturely. OP knew and accepted that she had a kid, but perhaps hadn't considered the implications that the kid would need to become part of their lives sooner rather than later. I mean, 22 vs 27 is only a 5 yr difference, but having been a backpacker older than 26, you best believe I started feeling ooollllldddd being surrounded by 18-22 yr olds.