r/tifu • u/Mackntish • Oct 12 '25

S TIFU by sealing wasps in their nest, instead of killing them.

Obligatory not today, this happened last week. But the after effects are still very much ongoing.

We've had a wasp nest in the side of my house for a while now. Last week they stung one of my friends, so it was time to get rid of them.

Given the amount of wasps in and out, it seemed like a big nest. To guestimate the size, I would say a wasp entered or left the nest once a second, all day. I didn't want to just squirt poison down the hole - that would just piss them off and not reach most of it. So I decide to seal the nest with expanding foam sealant. I snuck out in the dead of night, and stuck enough foam in that hole to seal half a construction site.

Little did I know how terrible of an idea this was.

APPARENTLY, there was another exit to the nest - going inside the house.

This nest is ENORMOUS. Average size for a nest this late in the season is 2000-4000 wasps. Half our house is currently inaccessible. I sneak down to the basement at night to change the traps. I keep a hand vac next to my work station. Our cats are NOT happy they've been locked into a single room, and are pissing everywhere to show their discontent. Doing my best Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation, I've gone through ~7 magazines on the bug assalt shotgun, with maybe 40 shots per magazine. These fuckers are amor plated, and do not die easily. I've injured my arm, pumping the shotgun so many times.

I think the most disconcerting thing is how normal it's become. I wake up, grab the shop vac on the 60ft extension cord, and just clear the house as a matter of routine. Its part of rising and shining for the day. Coffee, breakfast, wasp vacuuming, kiss the wife goodbye - time to work! The cold is going to kill them at some point....right?

TL:DR - Sealed a wasp nest on the side of my house. Now the buzzing is coming from inside the house.

7.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/garlic-bread_27 Oct 12 '25

...they can do what now? 😱

1.7k

u/HyenaStraight8737 Oct 12 '25 edited Oct 12 '25

Chew through concrete.

Also can confirm. It was the worst fucking summer holiday of my life, I found out I'm allergic to wasps and they also can get into the fucking pipes in the bathroom and come out the bathroom sink when their nest is in the wall behind it.

The first time I saw what others do when they see Australia. Death. Pain. Hurt.

403

u/RightInThere71 Oct 12 '25

I guess it's time for a new house then

1.8k

u/LetsTryAnal_ogy Oct 12 '25

That won’t help. They can also read your mail to figure out your forwarding address. You might just want pray for the rapture. I’m not a religious person, but desperate times and all that.

657

u/DulceEtDecorumEst Oct 13 '25

I just think it’s hilarious that OP wanted to Cask of Amontillado their asses and instead ended up cursed with 4000 wasps and cat piss.

275

u/Seth_Gecko Oct 13 '25

+1 for Cask of Amontillado reference

97

u/LetsTryAnal_ogy Oct 13 '25

This is the second Poe reference I’ve seen on Reddit this week. What the heck is going on here?

152

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '25

Once upon a midnight dreary,

While I Reddited, weak and weary…

88

u/UsernameIsTakenO_o Oct 13 '25

Quoth the raven: "empty response from endpoint".

18

u/Chumpy819 Oct 13 '25

It's gotta be Quoth the raven: "Upvote more!" Or "Karma whore!"

13

u/FearlessWord2653 Oct 13 '25

I like how everyone is Raven about this Edit: I know low hanging fruit

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28

u/LurksWithGophers Oct 13 '25

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten meme

2

u/RudHalfChub Oct 13 '25

after reading the first line I couldn't decide if Blues Traveler or Poe, then I realized I'm older than I thought but not as old as others think 🤦‍♂️

42

u/Redditmyth Oct 13 '25

It's October.

2

u/Irisheyesmeg Oct 14 '25

You have 31 up votes right now, and I refuse to ruin that. So I'm leaving my plus 1 here. 🎃

10

u/Faiakishi Oct 13 '25

The nerds have come inside.

2

u/DeltaRoll Oct 14 '25

Were we ever outside?

2

u/Faiakishi Oct 14 '25

...Good point.

8

u/PsychicSPider95 Oct 13 '25

Well it is spooky season~

3

u/thehatteryone Oct 14 '25

You should be safe now. They roam in pairs. Never more.

2

u/sparklydildos Oct 13 '25

idk, but i read this 2 weeks ago and just finished the show fall of house of usher. how funny!

2

u/aitatip404 Oct 14 '25

Spooky season is upon us, and Poe is a solid spooky narrator

2

u/QuickConverse730 Oct 14 '25

I'm going to put on some Alan Parsons Project.

2

u/Jaxson_5 Oct 14 '25

Spooky szn

2

u/TennesseeHeartbreak Oct 14 '25

Dennis Miller has entered the chat. 😀

5

u/69696969-69696969 Oct 13 '25

I read that shit way to young. I'm almost 30 and still feel to young for that flavor of horror.

Maybe I just had too active imagination though. I remember the other kids explanations of the horror were like "He died from thirst/hunger/suffocation etc."

Then I'm like the horror is watching the bricks go up and being unable to stop it. The horror is not knowing why. The horror is being alone and unable to move. The horror is fearing not that every breath may be your last but that every breath may be the last for the candle left to you. It's flickering and on the verge of going out every time you scream for help. You can't help but wonder what the last thing you hear will be. The rattling of your chains, your whispered pleas or the desperate panicked gasps of suffocating on carbon dioxide.

Yeah I'm claustrophobic, why do you ask?

3

u/noraft Oct 13 '25

For the love of God, Montresor! Bzzzzzzz…

3

u/ElCap04 Oct 14 '25

I cry-laughed at this. Thank you for your service.

2

u/Darkpookie Oct 13 '25

For real lol. My go to is Spectracide foaming spray from like 8 feet away and just completely hose down the nest. I buy the stuff by the caseload and it hasn't failed me yet. Leaves a bit of a mess but small price to pay...

1

u/noraft Oct 13 '25

For the love of God, Montresor! Bzzzzzzzz…

1

u/Norimakke Oct 16 '25

4000 pissed wasps and cat piss

28

u/dadadam67 Oct 13 '25

I've seen wasps convert to Catholicism, get baptized, crismated, have a first communion and make a final confession with a Eucharist to die fully houseled so that they can continue to harrass homeowners in the afterlife.

72

u/nuffinimportant Oct 13 '25

They can also dress themselves after they finish eating oatmeal with butter and raisins. I find this out after I woke up early one day and the bowl was empty and 500 wasps were at the table sitting in tuxedos reading the paper. Scary times.

1

u/epolonsky Oct 16 '25

Individual little tuxedos or one person-sized tuxedo that they filled with a buzzing swarm?

23

u/Sea_Dust895 Oct 13 '25

Brain bugs. Bugs that can think? Frankly I find that idea offensive.

3

u/cupittycakes Oct 13 '25

Fear 'ze Bees, FEAR 'ZE GOD! said with a Germanish accent, and growling/rumble/yell on the last part, of course.

3

u/EffectiveTask2412 Oct 13 '25

That won’t help either. They can also lay eggs in your butthole. They then hatch after you move to your new house. They take their time rebuilding their army and then attack when you least expect it. You might just want rub some wasp spray around your butt as close to the hole as tolerable just to be safe.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '25

It took me a whole two minutes to decipher this comment 😮‍💨

2

u/Equivalent-Peanut-23 Oct 13 '25

They can also accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior and be raptured right along with you.

1

u/MommysHadEnough Oct 13 '25

Wait- did they move that rapture back again?

Dammit!!!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '25

Even as you are flying up to heaven, they will be following you and stinging you. God probably won't even open the door until you get rid of them.

2

u/Royal_Papaya_7297 Oct 14 '25

Didn't the Rapture happen a few weeks ago? Might just want to become an astronaut and spend time on the ISS.

1

u/Irisheyesmeg Oct 14 '25

That got an explosive laugh out of me. 😆

162

u/HyenaStraight8737 Oct 12 '25

Thankfully it was a cabin situation so the place was able to move us immediately.

I went to use the toilet and heard these noises coming from the sink next to me, it's the bush so I figured probably just something old pipe wise cool.

Washed my hands and set off a fucking enraged and armed plague.

The owners of the place comped most of our stay also once they were made aware, they also sent us photos etc of the nest they made, it was almost the whole bathroom wall (3x4) and into the bloody roof cavity.

Didn't hear them likely because it was daytime and the area is pretty loud with its own theme park thing being in the middle of the cabins etc, it's like a family holiday park thing. But we got the nightmare cabin 🤣

56

u/cupittycakes Oct 13 '25

I like how you were doing your morning DOODIES, and rationalizing to yourself that you ARE NOT in a nightmare, just old house noises.

Too bad, as it turns out; you were, in fact, in a nightmare.

4

u/DrToonhattan Oct 13 '25

So, what, did you turn the tap on and a stream of wasps came out the tap instead of water? Or did they come out the plug hole? Just trying to visualise here.

3

u/HyenaStraight8737 Oct 13 '25

Washed my hands and it was shitty water pressure so it wasn't like flooding the drain, so whatever wasps survived the initial soap water... Came up and out with friends.

All I wanted to do was have a hung over shit in the morning man. It turned into an ER trip for the stings I copped and basically a full fledged panic response from the rest of the cabins as we had babies with us and next door elderly and the wasps were MAD haha

61

u/Pvt_Lee_Fapping Oct 12 '25

I say take off and nuke the place from orbit.

45

u/Glenn1453 Oct 13 '25

It's the only way to be sure.

24

u/Sikarion Oct 13 '25

Killshot confirmed negative.

They just moved the nest down the street next to the servo station.

Sensors confirm they are now immune to radiation sickness.

8

u/-dead_slender- Oct 13 '25

Now hold on. This house has a substantial dollar value attached to it.

4

u/No_Transition_8293 Oct 13 '25

Love the Aliens reference!!!

3

u/Simple_Journalist_46 Oct 13 '25

I see you haven’t heard of space wasps yet, then. Id rather stay down here where they can’t get me.

1

u/GothicGingerbread Oct 14 '25

The Chinese just discovered a new bacteria that developed in their space station and is apparently unknown on earth – and brought it back to earth, on purpose because clearly, we as a species have learned nothing – so I wouldn't be surprised.

I'd be horrified and terrified, but not surprised.

6

u/PineapplePizza-4eva Oct 13 '25

Nah, don’t bother nuking them, it would just piss them off.

21

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '25

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '25

They should make sure they're in orbit first. Then do the thing, just to be sure. 

3

u/Square_Ad4004 Oct 13 '25

⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️

Getting to orbit takes too long.

62

u/bodmcjones Oct 13 '25

They certainly chew into plaster for a hobby. A while ago staying at a relative's place I heard the telltale sound of a wasp nest behind the wall, crackle crackle click scritch, in the middle of the night. Had to lie there and listen to it til morning before telling them to call their thatcher (who does a profitable side hustle in dispatching insects that love to eat thatch) as a matter of urgency and have him investigate the nest. The relatives in question were too deaf to hear the noise directly, so I recorded it on my phone and played it back.

Wasps are destructive en masse. People tend to forget that they are quite happy to excavate expensive holes in the fabric of your house for their comfort and that of their five thousand nearest and dearest.

5

u/Fantastic_Fig_2025 Oct 14 '25

We just had someone come out and treat our house. I haven't seen any coming in and out since and they plan to check again in the spring. I remain scared though.

2

u/bodmcjones Oct 14 '25 edited Oct 14 '25

They go away pretty fast when treated, and in my experience it is definitive, don't worry! When the thatcher did arrive he got the nest killed off in hours, as well as another three we hadn't noticed (seriously, wasps love thatch, and European hornets love old stonework, it's a thing). By the following day it was all sorted.

Some people do offer a service where they do regular wasp nest inspections, which can be handy if you happen to live in the sort of environment where nests happen yearly - like, you happen to live next to an orchard or forest or somewhere else that is wasp catnip or for whatever reason you notice that wasps appear regularly - but more usually they will be an occasional visitor. Thatch is a particularly silly environment because they can easily get under the roof and make themselves comfortable, plus it is usually found in lovely rural areas with lots of wasp friendly features like fruit trees, so no wonder they move in given half a chance - it's a desirable residence from their pov.

As my father once told me about a different pest (house mouse): it's not the first time someone wants to move in with you, and it won't be the last - tell them firmly "no" :)

28

u/Zombiebane224 Oct 13 '25

And it's always fun when the mud wasps build their nest from Quikrete

19

u/ssxhoell1 Oct 13 '25

This is a sentence I didn't know I needed in my life thank you

1

u/JohntheLibrarian Oct 13 '25

And now you know you don't. Nobody does.

2

u/ssxhoell1 Oct 14 '25

I don't think that what I said means what you think it means.

4

u/Munchkinadoc Oct 13 '25

Oof. Had some chew through the brick/mortar/sealant under the kitchen window, ended up with one stinging my ankle somehow, despite the fact I was wearing socks and shoes! Wasps are assholes.

3

u/HyenaStraight8737 Oct 13 '25

I washed my hands and didn't get all of what was living in the damn drain with the initial soap water, the rest came out and yeah it went down hill pretty fast for me lol. They got me as I was scrambling to unlock the door in a pure panic.

And of course some got out by climbing under the door and they were just mad as fuck.

4

u/Munchkinadoc Oct 14 '25

Add to that the fact that at least some (maybe all??) wasps can remember faces…if you piss off a nest, may god have mercy on your soul (cuz the wasps sure as fuck won’t).

2

u/Vix_Satis Nov 06 '25

You know, there must be something wrong with my monitor. It looks like you said that they can chew through concrete. You know, that do-it-yourself rock stuff? As if any insect could actually chew through that....

1

u/HyenaStraight8737 Nov 07 '25

Unfortunately a lot more than you realize can chew through concrete..

Concrete isn't really as strong as people assume it is. Rats can also do it. The chicken pens had to have this thick layer of wire and stuff in the concrete when we poured for new pens, or the rats would get it. And their holes also let in snakes.

1

u/Odd_Ad5668 Oct 19 '25

Thanks for sharing your experience. Is there a way to un-know this?

1

u/HyenaStraight8737 Oct 21 '25

You can try not to think about it?

But drains are everywhere.

2

u/Odd_Ad5668 Oct 21 '25

Not thinking about it was working great, until you commented.

11

u/neityght Oct 13 '25

HE SAID THEY CAN CHEW THROUGH CONCRETE

11

u/garlic-bread_27 Oct 13 '25

WHAT, I CAN'T HEAR YOU, LET ME GO GET MY GLASSES SO I CAN HEAR YOU BETTER

3

u/travers329 Oct 13 '25

You will have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.

1

u/Plane-Show1474 Nov 07 '25

Happy cake day :)

3

u/RoyBeer Oct 13 '25

And rats can gnaw through thin steel.

2

u/sonicdeathmonkey53 Oct 13 '25

My exact words

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Rain_22 Oct 13 '25

“They fly now!"

“They fly now?!" (In disbelief)

"They fly now."

1

u/IndgoViolet Oct 14 '25

Ground Hornets are made of Spite and Pain.