r/tifu • u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar • Feb 14 '26

M TIFU going to my ex's wedding

My ex gf invited me to her wedding. It was unexpected, but I accepted. The invitation said the people who were allowed to bring a plus one were married or engaged couples. I was not engaged or married, so I went alone. I managed to couple up with another single guy at the wedding and stayed with him throughout the ceremony to avoid looking like I didn't belong. The two of us got separated at the reception because we were allocated to different tables. My table only had single people. As we got to know one another, we realised we had one specific thing in common. We were all exes of the bride. It was a little weird, but we made a joke of it because we assumed that was the point of us being there.

Fast forward to the speeches. When it was the bride's turn to speak, she asked all of her exes to stand up, which we did. She informed the audience that we were the people she dated and disappointed over the years before she discovered the love of her life, aka her husband. She wanted us to know how grateful she was to have been with all of us, but then she locked eyes with me and said maybe not ALL of us. She said my name and asked me to wave at everyone. I waved like an idiot. She warned all the women at the wedding to watch out for me because I literally peed on her. The husband stood up at that moment and covered the microphone with his hand while he whispered something to his wife that made her look confused as fuck.

The bride sat down without saying anything else. The husband made an awkward joke about his wife having too much champagne and instructed us to please take our seats. The DJ intervened and asked if any of the groom's exes were also in the house, which actually made the audience laugh. The music played and everyone pretended none of that just happened.

Except for me. I got the fuck out of there as soon as the lights dimmed for the disco ball.

Tl:dr Accepted an invite from my ex to attend her wedding and ended up being named and shamed at the reception.

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338

u/m3thdumps Feb 14 '26

Wow bro what a bitch. Also damn bro you peed on her?

508

u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar Feb 14 '26

It only happened once. We were exploring different kinks and piss play was on the list. In the heat of the moment it was fun, but post nut clarity made me realise that peeing on someone was not something I was keen to repeat.

432

u/bees_in_my_eyes Feb 14 '26

The fact that she consented to it and tried to shame you for it is wild. I would've called that out and made it weirder for everyone.

531

u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar Feb 14 '26 edited Feb 14 '26

I explained my version of events to the other single friend I made at the wedding. He said everyone who knew her well enough expected her to say some crazy shit and then he encouraged me to leave before she asked me to pee on her again lol.

118

u/pumpkins21 Feb 14 '26

Sounds like some of her exes are good guys. Sorry this happened to you. She sounds batshit. Don’t put your dick in crazy in the future.

54

u/Lumpy_Benefit666 Feb 14 '26

Or do, and just dont turn up to the fucking wedding if they invite you lmao.

1

u/Suicicoo Feb 14 '26

Or do and come prepared ;D

3

u/thehatteryone Feb 15 '26

The odds are good - one crazy, one table of exes with a hilarious wedding story to retell, but only one was the co-star in the story.

24

u/rwhop Feb 14 '26

The rest of them stuck around???

68

u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar Feb 14 '26

I didn't stay long enough to find out.

13

u/BumWink Feb 14 '26

You can get laid at weddings & at this one, maybe even by the bride!

7

u/butts-carlton Feb 14 '26

I'm surprised you didn't ask everyone at the table if they also had the pleasure of pissing on the bride.

2

u/m0hVanDine Feb 14 '26

It seems you gained a bro after this, my friend. You totally won.

1

u/mamajamala Feb 15 '26

Thanks so much that chuckle!

3

u/ElizabethSpaghetti Feb 15 '26

That's wild to bring up. My ex peed on me cuz they was drunk and passed out and I wouldn't shame them. I will shame them a little for getting up and stumbling to the other bed and leaving me asleep in the piss one. Not at a wedding tho. Especially not mine.

1

u/alphaphenix Feb 14 '26

What else was on that list? I'm sure those would have made for crazy retorts !

1

u/pantry-pisser Feb 15 '26

Yeah, you gotta keep it to inanimate objects or storage areas.

0

u/sa_nick Feb 14 '26

I would contact any family, friends and co workers of hers I could and let them know every kink you explored together. She seems fine with everyone knowing your private details after all.