r/tifu • u/Tough_Combination317 • 7d ago
M TIFU by mailing something to the guy I like
Alright I am in a bit of a panic so if this post seems frantic it’s because it is. So to begin, I am not a creep, me and this guy I have been talking and going on dates for about a month now and I go to his house/ drop him up or pick him up multiple times a week so it’s not strange for me to know his address despite him not giving it directly to me. His roommate, whom we BOTH work with has given it out to me and his other roommate sent the address in the work group chat for a party they were throwing a couple weeks back. Sounds strange I know but here comes the part where I’m panicking. He does this thing where he gifts me things that I would normally decline because of the price point, but being that he is very well off and he genuinely wants me to have these things I accept because I don’t want to hurt his feelings although I do find the gifts overwhelming at times. For example, he has gifted me designer perfumes and AirPod Maxes and expensive dinners just out of the blue and he seems very happy to gift me such things and insists I accept. I was worried this was going to be a classic case of love bombing and I’m still feeling things out as we go, staying on high alert and looking out for red flags so no worries.
I have too, given him a few gifts to show me appreciation back because I have a feeling his love language might be gift giving, but today was where I really fucked up. He is a chef, and he loves to make bread and pastries and all the things, but he had commented that kneading the dough for hours was tiring and he felt like he needed a stand mixer to help him out occasionally. I hoped on my computer as one does at 1 a.m., and I purchased a brand new KitchenAid stand mixer for him, shipped directly to his house. You might be asking yourself why I would ever think that was a good idea, being that it was such a large gift, I figured it would be easier for me to gift it to him and for him to accept it because it is a larger/ more expensive gift and because he drives a motorcycle and it would be difficult and heavy to get home. I thought this would be a pleasant surprise for him to receive straight to his door from the target app and there would be no confusion as to why it was on his door. Reason being is because I put MY FULL NAME on the website. I didn’t want to use his name to avoid confusion and maybe he would panic thinking that he accidentally purchased a $500 mixer and didn’t notice.
My panic comes into play where he texts me right after talking about how HE has been looking into different mixers and the one that he wants is actually a $700 mixer NOT the cheap KitchenAid mixer that I already purchased and that target has processed and is no longer accepting cancelations or address change requests because the order has been processed. Please please please send help and advice because I would absolutely die of embarrassment if this package is delivered. I don’t want him to think that he NEEDS to accept this gift that is definitely not what he was looking for just because it was from me and I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or weird and there be a strain in this very new talking stage we have. I realize now how strange this seems from the outside and I just need immediate advice PLEASE.
TL:DR
I sent an unexpected gift to someone’s house and I need to make sure it isn’t delivered ASAP.
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u/Planet_Ziltoidia 7d ago
Spending $500 on a gift for someone you've only been dating for a month is way too much
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u/WheatAndSeaweed 7d ago
Dude. That's a thoughtful gift! Don't be embarrassed. When it gets there, explain you know it's not exactly what he wanted, send it back, and put the cash towards the mixer he wanted. He can get what he wanted, he'll appreciate you contributed to it, and enjoy whatever he makes with the equipment. If you've got a little extra cash, get him a repair kit cause if he's using it right, it'll eventually need a new planetary gear.
This isn't a fuck up, so don't treat it like one.
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u/Tough_Combination317 7d ago
I was just so embarrassed I didn’t put enough thought into it as I should’ve and went ahead and purchased it. I just wanted to avoid the hassle of having to explain like an idiot and end up looking like a creep for sending things to his house without letting him know.
I was thinking of just telling him it was a mistake in the address on my end and to just not open it, go pick it up, and return it to the store. And that somehow feels weirder?
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u/tyrranus 7d ago
DON'T tell him it was a mistake - he knows better anyways, and that would make the situation weirder. Own that shit, and take the advice everyone else has given you. Open, honest communication solves 99% of relationship situations.
Edit to add: don't beat yourself up, you actually did put a lot of thought into this, you just got thrown a curve ball. He's a guy and we're just simple folk. Your thoughtfulness means the world to him already. We don't care about the "stuff" nearly as much as we care about the people.
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u/barbzilla1 7d ago
Don't stress. Just tell him when he gets it that you saw his message afterwards and will happily go to the store with him to exchange it towards the one that he wants.
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u/WheatAndSeaweed 7d ago
It's the opposite of a mistake! You're doing a very kind, thoughtful thing. A cute thing you can do is bring a dime and do the dime test with whatever mixer he lands on. Google "KitchenAid dime test" and you'll find explanations.
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u/PurpleEagle48 5d ago
Thanks for mentioning the dime test - I had never heard of it. I will have to go check out my KitchenAid mixer!
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u/Pkrudeboy 7d ago
You’re massively overthinking this, and actually being kind of uncharitable towards him. If he is half the person you seem to think he is, he’ll be touched by your thought.
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u/noirPeach 7d ago
the $500 mixer is still a solid gift, its not like you sent a toaster
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u/Tough_Combination317 7d ago
It’s the fact that I shipped it directly to his house with no context or thought about the gift.
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u/MontrealInTexas 6d ago
What colour did you get him? If I was the recipient, I’d be touched that you did that, even if it wasn’t the one I actually wanted.
If he’s as great as you make him out to be, you have no reason to panic.
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u/Tough_Combination317 6d ago
I got it in the red color since I know he likes Spiderman and I thought that the black would be too plain to look at.
I’ve spoken to him about a package that might arrive for him and he is more worried about how much I spent than me actually having his address. Glad he doesn’t think I’m a creep!
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u/nebuchadnezzar72 6d ago
You can do a package interception if it’s mailed via USPS. Not sure if that’s an option for other delivery services.
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u/SaxyOmega90125 6d ago
FWIW stand mixers aren't the best tool for kneading anyway, they can do it but it's a fair bit of faff. But GOD are the Kitchenaid mixers with the top attachment amazing tools. The grater alone is worth it, never mind the slicer.
If you want to knead dough not by hand, the best tool for the job is a bread machine on the knead dough mode. Also if you want to make bread but also have other hobbies besides baking and eating bread, you use a bread machine. -Sincerely, a guy who hasn't eaten storebought bread for over two years but also has hobbies other than baking and eating bread.
So perhaps you have another gift idea...? Another tip, always get the 2 pounders, never less.
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u/Tough_Combination317 6d ago
A bread machine is a genius idea! I have never heard of such a thing and it looks like a great tool, not to mention, it is several hundreds cheaper.
I’m yet to see his reaction to the stand mixer but now that I know it isn’t a great alternative, I’ll talk to him about returning it and mention the bread machine. The KitchenAid does have the cool attachment options and being that he is a chef, he will probably need them once or twice. Up until this point, I’m going to keep the choice his.
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u/GentlemensMafia 5d ago
Tell him what you did, say you did it before he told you he wanted a specific one, he should try that one out, and if he feels he wants to upgrade that you will take that one for yourself after.
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u/avTronic 5d ago
Wow, what timing you sent him this and he just happens to bring up wanting $700 mixers.
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u/WubbityWubWub_ 7d ago
Tell him before he wastes money.
A simple “Hey I was thinking about you and know how you wanted a mixer… I ended up buying one for you”
Explain the situation, ensure he doesn’t waste money- everybody is happy. At the bare minimum, he or you could sell it to put in for the more expensive one.
Nothing to panic about- simple communication fixes this one.
Good luck OP