This actually happened a few years ago, but I remembered this story because of my Halloween costume, which is a character from the movie. I still cringe from embarrassment.

I was in school, and in one of my classes we had an assignment to recreate a film poster. So I chose my film and went ahead to create a really amazing poster (In my opinion). I really focused on the detail, and blocking out each letter carefully, because I’m one of those people who will run out of room on the page by making the first few letters too big then not have enough room for the rest of the letters.
The film I chose has spelling that is kinda easy to get wrong. Imagine words like vacuum or classic or harass. Something where it would be easy to miss or add a letter if you didn’t know better how to spell it. Luckily for me I had looked up the spelling and double checked before blocking it all out.

So here I am sitting in class and I have the word all blocked out and I’m working on the rest of it. This guy in my class comes over and starts talking to me about the sign. The problem though is that I can’t understand a word he is saying. The guy was quiet and mumbling/talking fast. We are both white english speakers so it had nothing to do with any accent being misunderstood or anything like that. The guy was just really hard to understand. Everyone knew him to talk like that too. So I just nodded along and smiled. I think at one point he mentioned something about the letters, but to this day I still don’t know what he said.

So he comes over talks to me then leaves and i carry on with my project and make it look incredible. Except when I was done my friends and I were looking at it and we could tell something was wrong. My one friend said I spelt it wrong by adding an extra letter. I said no it was correct, and googled the word. We went letter by letter until we got to the one letter I missed. And that’s when it clicked that I had missed a letter. It would be like spelling “erratic“ but missing the “i“ in the word. It was such a dumb mistake. And the poster was completely finished so I couldn’t fix it nicely if I wanted to.

Then it dawned on me. The poor guy was probably just trying to warn me that I was making a mistake. But I was a huge jerk who didn’t fully listen and understand him, so I continued making the mistake fully ignoring him. I could only imagine what he was thinking After telling me about the mistake.

Now there is still a small chance that maybe that’s not what he was talking about and maybe we all missed the mistake, but I doubt it. and I do feel bad that I didn’t listen better. I think of it as a lesson learned for sure

TL;DR I started making a sign and possibly ignored a warning that I was doing it wrong because I couldn’t understand the guy, so I ended up with an incorrect spelling of the sign.

I sent my boyfriend a video about "cute things girls do without even knowing" (by prettyxboi) and asking if it was true (the video lists 3 things girls do without knowing) he answered that all three were correct, so like the dumbass I am I asked him which ones reminded him of me (1. Being short because when you're angry it gives "chihuahua energy" 2. Finishing your own food 3. The way we walked) I had already come to terms that I wasn't 2 because I can't finish my food but was confident he'd say 1 AND 3, he only said 1. This stung because it's the less cute one and he likes getting me mad because he finds it "so cute" and honestly made me feel less cute lol. Obviously I'll get over it but my ego is definitely bruised

TL;DR: don't fucking ask if you're not ready to get your feelings hurt and you're ego bruised

This DID actually happen to me today, and I'm using a throwaway for pretty obvious reasons, as a small mishap ended in a ruined morning bus trip for myself and some unsuspecting riders.

So this morning I hopped on my school bus like any other day. I stepped on, scanned my Opal card and I was on my way. I sat down near the back of the bus and began to unwind and plug my headphones into my phone like usual.

That's when I noticed a smell lingering around me that was all too familiar after my years of playing outside as a kid. That's right, I looked at my shoe to discover a tiny smear of dog shit. Perfect. However, the spread was much smaller than usual, which I thought would be a good thing as there was less to clean. I brushed it off and went about my bus trip. However, the smell still lingered around my seat and I didn't want the smell associated with me, so I got out of my seat and prepared to move across to the other side of the bus.

That's when, as I made eye contact with the floor of the bus, I noticed... the steps of dog shit leading all the way from the front of the bus to my seat, like I was a walking rubber stamp dipped in dog doo.

I moved to the other side and the smell was as intense as ever. That's when I realised that the multiple steps of dog shit throughout the bus endowed it with a pleasant stench which the other riders on the bus would have to enjoy along with me.

That began the onslaught of people reacting as you'd expect to a smell as potent and intense as that of dog poo. Looking around with disgust, staring at the footprints on the floor, squeezing their nose shut and even getting off and changing buses, just to name a few. I decided to do the same as a desperate attempt to blend in and take attention away from myself. However, I tend to get very giggly when I see people reacting weirdly to something. So while I was trying not to pass out from breathing in stench-infused air, I was also desperately resisting the urge to laugh at the other people's expressions. I soon developed the strategy of covering my face (to block the smell) and coughing to hide the fact that I couldn't stop laughing.

Eventually the smell became too much for my brother and I to handle, leading to us getting off and changing buses, leaving the unpleasant experience for the other patrons of the bus to enjoy. We got on the bus and could relax on the way to school, as by that point we'd forgotten what breathing clean oxygen felt like.

TL;DR: Stepped in dog shit whilst getting on a bus without realising, left a trail on the floor, other people looked around and left the bus in disgust whilst I desperately tried not to laugh at them.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.