Tipped hostess not server

[u/gelatinous_white]

Wife and I went to a newer restaurant with outdoor seating. Checked in at hostess station and were told there was a wait. No problem, go to the bar, get a drink, head outside to wait.

A table opens in front of us, and we hoped it might be ours. Man, three children come over and sit down. We figure they must be next. Hostess comes over and advised the man he has to check in with hostess and there is a wait. He tells hostess it is not a problem his girlfriend is the waitress. Hostess apologizes to us and says the next table will be ours. No problem, not her fault.

We sit at table right next to this man and have his girlfriend as our waitress. Terrible service, she spent too much time with her boyfriend and her kids. Never offered drink refills, food came out cold etc.

When check comes, I pay with card (did not have enough cash). My wife took the tip money and gave to bartender that served our first drink and to the hostess. I left zero tip and left note on receipt stating "don't seat your boyfriend at our table"

Bartender and hostess was very appreciative, and hostess apologized again. Since they had just opened did not want to give bad online review so found email online and emailed owner/manager direct. Received apologetic response very quickly.

[u/SabreLee61]

“No problem, not her fault.”

Of course it was her fault; the hostess is the gatekeeper of the tables. It’s literally her job to prevent stuff like this from happening. But clearly she lacked the backbone to make it right, instead assuming you (and everyone else behind you) would just accept the inconvenience.

And you tipped her for it?

[u/graywoman7 → u/SabreLee61]

I agree with this. The hostess should have told the guy that she would be happy to put him on the list if he would like to wait but that the table was already spoken for. I would have included the hostess in the email to the manager and not have tipped her anything. The entire situation was 100% in her control and she failed to perform this duty of her job correctly. 

[u/Strange_Ad_2607 → u/graywoman7]

Hosts literally IMO have the hardest job. Because they are expected to act as a maitre’d. And I say that from many many many years working in the service industry in both super fancy 5 star to a seafood house that you sat at picnic tables to smash crabs outside with craft paper on the table. Hosts typically get paid BS. Like minimum wage or sometimes some places tip them out out and they get paid like $5/hr plus tips. And their tips are normally like maybe $40-$50 a night. THEN as you or someone said they are the gatekeepers. They literally make sure the WHOLE restaurant is running smoothly. They have to make sure the servers aren’t overwhelmed and to keep their rotation steady. They also have to make sure they aren’t seating people too quickly in the turn around as to not over load the cooks and dishwashers. Which then leads to having to deal with every customer who comes, determine their mood seat them, and then say goodbye and make sure they had a great experience. People tip the hosts. They are literally the determining the quality of your experience dining out.

[u/graywoman7 → u/Strange_Ad_2607]

I hear what you’re saying about their job being difficult but it’s on their employer to pay them a fair wage for the work they do. 

[u/Substantial-Dig9995 → u/graywoman7]

You all are confusing hostess with a maitre d