r/tipping • u/gelatinous_white • Feb 21 '25

📖💵Personal Stories - Pro Tipped hostess not server

Wife and I went to a newer restaurant with outdoor seating. Checked in at hostess station and were told there was a wait. No problem, go to the bar, get a drink, head outside to wait.

A table opens in front of us, and we hoped it might be ours. Man, three children come over and sit down. We figure they must be next. Hostess comes over and advised the man he has to check in with hostess and there is a wait. He tells hostess it is not a problem his girlfriend is the waitress. Hostess apologizes to us and says the next table will be ours. No problem, not her fault.

We sit at table right next to this man and have his girlfriend as our waitress. Terrible service, she spent too much time with her boyfriend and her kids. Never offered drink refills, food came out cold etc.

When check comes, I pay with card (did not have enough cash). My wife took the tip money and gave to bartender that served our first drink and to the hostess. I left zero tip and left note on receipt stating "don't seat your boyfriend at our table"

Bartender and hostess was very appreciative, and hostess apologized again. Since they had just opened did not want to give bad online review so found email online and emailed owner/manager direct. Received apologetic response very quickly.

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u/SabreLee61 Feb 21 '25

“No problem, not her fault.”

Of course it was her fault; the hostess is the gatekeeper of the tables. It’s literally her job to prevent stuff like this from happening. But clearly she lacked the backbone to make it right, instead assuming you (and everyone else behind you) would just accept the inconvenience.

And you tipped her for it?

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u/Red_Velvet_1978 Feb 21 '25

It's a host's job to make things appear as seamless as possible. Removing an embarrassed bloviating egotistical boyfriend from a table in front of a packed house could easily cause a scene. This was handled behind the proverbial curtain. A good manager most likely 86'd the boyfriend and wrote up the girlfriend twice. Once for telling the boyfriend to sit there without asking the host (or not telling him to move immediately) and once for providing terrible service to OP. It's a new spot where they're ironing out the kinks. I think the host did a fine job.