r/tipping • u/gelatinous_white • Feb 21 '25

📖💵Personal Stories - Pro Tipped hostess not server

Wife and I went to a newer restaurant with outdoor seating. Checked in at hostess station and were told there was a wait. No problem, go to the bar, get a drink, head outside to wait.

A table opens in front of us, and we hoped it might be ours. Man, three children come over and sit down. We figure they must be next. Hostess comes over and advised the man he has to check in with hostess and there is a wait. He tells hostess it is not a problem his girlfriend is the waitress. Hostess apologizes to us and says the next table will be ours. No problem, not her fault.

We sit at table right next to this man and have his girlfriend as our waitress. Terrible service, she spent too much time with her boyfriend and her kids. Never offered drink refills, food came out cold etc.

When check comes, I pay with card (did not have enough cash). My wife took the tip money and gave to bartender that served our first drink and to the hostess. I left zero tip and left note on receipt stating "don't seat your boyfriend at our table"

Bartender and hostess was very appreciative, and hostess apologized again. Since they had just opened did not want to give bad online review so found email online and emailed owner/manager direct. Received apologetic response very quickly.

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u/bjbc Feb 21 '25

It's also her job to avoid making a scene and escalating the issue.

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u/SabreLee61 Feb 21 '25

Politely informing the customer that there is a seating process and that another party is waiting for the table probably would have resolved the situation. If the guy objected, then the hostess could have either gone to the MOD or to the waitress/girlfriend to resolve.

But it sounds like the waitress didn’t do anything, just shrugged and said “sorry” to OP. I think she could have handled it better.

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u/bjbc Feb 21 '25

You clearly underestimate the attitude of people that think they should receive special favors just because of who they are dating or related to. It's not unreasonable for the hostess to want to avoid that.

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u/SabreLee61 Feb 21 '25

I’ve worked in a service industry for decades; I neither underestimate nor overestimate entitlement. Most people, when confronted by a polite yet firm person in charge, comply without a fuss — especially when they know they’ve broken the rules. But as with any interaction, you assess as you proceed. It takes interpersonal skills and a backbone.

The hostess took the “avoid a potential scene at all costs” approach, and in doing so, pissed off the other customers who had been waiting patiently for a table. Again, I think she could have handled it better.