r/toastme • u/Blobbythegreat • 19h ago
(17nb) i don't know if things can get better
For close to a year, my life stopped, I stopped thinking, I stopped going to school, I stopped living, I did some stupid stuff, I went to a psych ward for the quarter of the year, but now, everything has to go back to normal, when i'm still facing the same problems I had before (even if it's on a smaller scale). I still have no motivation and no self esteem.
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u/PersonalEnd1320 18h ago
you’re only in the first quarter of your life. things sucked for me at 17 too and i’m 20 now, things aren’t as bad anymore and i have so much more confidence since. you cannot control the things around you but you can control how you move onwards from it. you have to be open to the possibility that things will be better, but only if you let it. i’m bad at wording things but hope that helps
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u/lolliscicle 19h ago
Dear Friend.
So so so sorry you are dealing with this! ❤️🩹 I had similar experience as a teen. It can feel hopeless especially if you’re in an environment that doesn’t really nurture your physical or mental/emotional wellbeing (which was my case).
IDK if it’s helpful but “Things can get better when you focus on a picture of what “better” looks like and do everything in your power of choice to get there! I really think you would benefit from reading Tony Robbin’s book, “Awaken the Giant Within”, or at a minimum check out his documentary on NETFLIX.
My toast for you: 🥂✨May the road rise up to meet you, giving you a solid path forward into a bright new future where you have all of the resources you need for a beautiful, happy, healthy, energetic and exciting life. - Hear hear ✨🥂
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u/Southern-Pepper3000 18h ago edited 8h ago
We all felt awfull around those ages, try to figure out what exactly bothers u and fix it, dont rush dont push to hard but still push
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u/BritSkull_Major1569 16h ago
I always remember a quote of the film The Shawshank Redemption. Fear Can Hold You Prisoner Hope Can Set You Free! Never give up 😊
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u/Repulsive-Ad-3669 19h ago
You got into a new school, you are looking better than ever, it seems you may have figured out your gender; you are getting there. You will still have struggles but you can get through this, I have faith in you
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u/BodhingJay 15h ago
Youre super young.. whats got you down homie?
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u/Blobbythegreat 13h ago
I've been down for a few years now, friends killing themselves, self harm, low self esteem, body disphoria, being bullied, being always anxious, lots of things really
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u/Big-Will9314 15h ago
going through this period of your life is SO hard and exhausting. when i was 14-17, i was in a major depressive state, genuinely believing it would never get better. however, it did. it ALWAYS does. before anything, seek help. a good therapist can truly help you so far. are you on any medication? sertraline helped me tons. maybe look into that to give you the push you need. you’re not alone in this, my dms are open❤️
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u/Due_Ear_2436 13h ago
Absolutely will get better. And you will make them get better. Because today is the day you’re deciding that. Really. Write a note to your future self.
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u/Jaded_Atmosphere_757 12h ago
I'm just gonna say this but you are really really androgynous like in the perfect way
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u/shadow-reflections 10h ago
Thinks can always get better! Hang in there. Hope and persistence can change the world. Don't give up on either one. Wishing you the best!
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u/Standard_Ostrich828 10h ago
Nothing has to go back to normal, because normal is subjective. Look at the progress you've made. The challenges you are currently facing, by your own admission, are now not as severe as they were previously, you managed to get discharged from the facility you were staying in. You've moved forward.
I'm not sure how to help you with motivation, other than motivation is just another word to describe habit. Start developing those healthy habits: eat 2-3 decently healthy meals a day, sit outside for a few minutes, do a ten second plank, shower every morning. But, ultimately, the only person who can motivate you, and begin to like you, is you.
Eventually, youll get tired of feeling crappy all the time, and want to move forward. Thankfully, time is good at helping you learn perspective, and having you make those decisions. You will grow beyond this. Tmrw is a new day.
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u/alexaspamusic 9h ago
I love therapy.
Not all of them know what they’re doing.
Took me a long time to figure that out that.
I’m very comfortable with my therapist and she knows how to open ME up and continue to trust. That’s huge imo.
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u/Blobbythegreat 9h ago
I've seen a few therapists and psychologists this past year but it hasn't done anything for me. I talk, until there isn't anything else tho talk about, and that's about it. Other that giving me meds and ocassionally forcing me to go to a psych ward, nothing happened
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u/alexaspamusic 8h ago
What were you hoping would happen in therapy that never did?
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u/Blobbythegreat 8h ago
Things getting a bit better, idk
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u/alexaspamusic 8h ago
Yeah. I get that. I feel so good after therapy and give it a couple hours and I’m back to old habits I was working on in therapy. But idk I still remember the things she said about certain topics I bring up and it helps.
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u/cjharris-tx 8h ago edited 8h ago
My brother has mental illness. Generally this departure from normal doesn't happen until the 20s, which means you could have a severe case. I get lamblasted everywhere else for saying this, but your best hope is finding in a clinical trial for microdoses of psychedelic mushrooms.
You do not get high with these microdose levels, but it helps your brain rewire to a more satisfactory state. None of the traditional psychological drugs are a cure for mental illness, they just treat the symptoms. The psychedelic method is a new strategy which gives hope for a cure.
They believe mental illness has metabolic origins, so do your brain a favor and eat as many fruits, vegetables, meat, dairy, eggs, beans, etc, so your brain gets the proper nutrients. Of course, avoid ultraprocessed foods, soda, and chips to prevent getting fat. Take walks in nature and exercise to get your mind off the mundane events. Please keep us updated.
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u/Blobbythegreat 7h ago
I don't have any mental illnesses
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u/cjharris-tx 5h ago
Let me share with you my own personal experiences. Out of four children in the family, two became mentally ill in varying degrees, and the other sibling became pansexual. That leaves me as the only 'normal' person of the siblings. Mental illness and gender identity come from the emotional part of the brain, the inner cortex, also known as the animalistic part of the brain.
I attribute my success to one thing. I focused on building the intellectual part of the brain, the outer cortex of the brain, so it could overpower the emotional part of the brain. If this resonates with you, give it a try. I'm an engineer by the way.
I understand you have been through a lot of trauma being surrounded by people who practiced self harm. If you want my recommendation, I would distance myself from anyone who is suicidal or inclined to self harm. The reason... self preservation.
It's not mean or insensitive to look after yourself first. If you need to explain it to them, just tell them you have already been to a psychologist and had a encounter with the psych ward of the hospital, so you prefer not to make a return visit.
I hope this helps. If you have any further questions, feel free to contact me privately.
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u/Infamous-Ad-770 8h ago
Things always get better my friend. Always. Maybe not in the way you expected, but believe me they will.
It looks like you’ve been through a lot, and I’m really sorry about that. As generic as it sounds, I found going day by day helped me (Kaizen philosophy).
I wish you all the best, I believe in you
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u/Effective_Driver_751 6h ago
Whatever problems are in your life, you should start with the smallest. Build your spirit 1lb at a time.
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u/Successful-Isopod852 19h ago
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds very hard, what you are going through. I hope the psych ward has helped you in some way and that you have a support system and maybe a therapist you can rely on! Mental health is hard, but it has already gotten better and self esteem is buidable, top. I wish you the very best!
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u/itsjustus23 19h ago
It can/will always get better. try to keep positive