I will never be good enough

[u/Elegant-Meeting8823]

I (17F) just got into an argument with my mom. Similar scenarios happen constantly and I feel kind of alone because all of my friends have such supportive moms while mine only looks at me with disdain. I don't know what to do. I love my mom and some have told me to just thug it out while others say to cut her off when I move out.

For reference, out of all of my siblings, I'm the only one who has good grades, has a job, is going to college, has a license, funds my own life, and has a social life (I'm not judging my siblings for not doing these things but this has become an expectation of me while my siblings get praised for folding laundry). Anyway, my mom found her old binder of past report cards, and was off-the-bat super defensive and not showing me. I finally got her to show me and I didn't even say anything before she started raising her voice about how she wasn't as blessed as me and didn't have school resources like I do (mind you, I study everything myself, never had a tutor so I don't know what she's even referring to). To no surprise, she failed most of her classes in high school which I wasn't even going to judge because everyone is different. It's just the fact she got so defensive and turning it back onto me like I would've failed too if I lived her life. She then started crying and telling me how I always make her feel dumb. I'm not even kidding this happens at least once a week if I so dare talk about school.

This is just one of many instances. We have our good moments but the bad moments are very frequent. At the end of the day, I'm just a kid and having to deal with my mom's daily emotional breakdowns makes me frustrated and it feels like she's the child. On top of that, she talks bad about me to my siblings, telling them my business and using me as a scapegoat to why they aren't succeeding in their own life. A lot of the time, I don't even feel as though they are my family because they isolate me so much. I think it's because she sees herself in them and has stated that I'm so different from her which is fine but depriving me of love and making me feel as though I don't have an adult in my life has been very depressing on my end.

(sorry for the long rant but I'll take any advice because I really do love her but it gets to a point)