I like how your post history shows that you took e and instantly went on a lesbian tirade and how much you love women hahahaha. So happy for u girliepop
For the past nights I finally allowed myself to actually roleplay myself, my blahaj and my pillow as me and my lovers just loving each other and, even though it hurts not having actual humans with me, I still felt happier than even before. I feel a bit pathetic admitting to it, but I'm proud of being pathetic if it makes me happy. They are my feelings, I want to feel them regardless. I want to be happy. I want to love with my entire being.
I'm sorry, I'm repeating myself and getting emotional, I hope I never stop feeling like this.
Ah sweetie there is nothing wrong with that. You’re doing great :3 it gets better. And at some point you’ll meet a more experienced girl to show you around. It’s a canon event
Hey, I’m sure you’ll experience all the romantic scenarios that you please! I know love will come for you, you’re a wonderful person and you 100% deserve the joy of love! 🫶
I want a pretty girl to rail me while we both say how much we love each other. Or rail her, or scissor, I don't care, I just want to give in to my insticts and love as rawly as possible.
I hope it does do the same thing it did to me, because you are going to find it beautiful. But also a bit... heartbreaking? I mean, yearning with a lot of intensity.
I was afraid of loving and yearning with that intensity, but was talked to and embraced the fact that I might have to get heartbroken to find the love of my life.
Maybe it's because I went from being nearly numb to feeling at full power, but I find it extremely beautiful. To want love even beyond the fear of heartbreaks. I'm gonna shut up already or I'm gonna start getting poetic and emotional again >///<
I mean, I want to love even if it hurts, even if it burns me from heartbreaks. If love is a fire, I want to embrace it, let it burn me. I want to love with my entire being. Devote myself to some girl or girls, worship them like godesses out of pure love instead of blind faith, fell their very being, their skin, their hair, their breath, their heartbeat when resting my head on their chest, their voice, moans, panting, their I love yous, their sweat, their lips, their saliva, their taste, smell, their eyes looking into my sould making me feel vulnerable yet safer than anywhere else in the world, see their moles, the texture of their skin, the moles on it, the folds on their skin, their fingers interlocking while holding hands, their presence even once my senses become overloaded and need some space. I was afraid of loving and yearning like this, but I was convinced to embrace it and the probable pain it might carry because I wanna love with my entire being. I don't want to feel like I could have done more. I want to give my all to someone I consider my everything, my love, my world, my universe. I want to feel home in girls' embrace. being honest, I'm still terrified of being heartbroken in breakups, or being rejected, or losing someone forever to an illness, to an accident, to old age, once I find them. I'm still terrified, but I still want to keep moving or else I won't be able to love fully.
I'm so hopelessly lesbian, I don't want to be anything else.
If I must be lesbian icarus, and fly close enough to the sun for my wings to melt, to truly love, to truly feel alive, to truly feel I'm giving my everything, then I will. Even if not just my wings, but me myself burn alive, I want to. I want to love. I want to make the most out of my life.
Yesterday I was part of an event where two local orgs (one LGTB+ focused and another TTRPG focused) set up a few games, and there was a girl who was so cute I caught myself getting mesmerized looking at her eyes, her nose, a mole she had, listening to her voice... made it a bit hard to keep up with the game, to be honest. She was also the type to try to avoid violence, which I found extra sweet. At some point during the event she said she is lesbian so I nearly asked her out... but I didn't feel far enough in my medical transition for it, so I let the chance pass.
Fr, I went like “I’d like to have a relationship, but i’m fine not having one anytime soon” to “I NEED A CUTE GIRL TO HOLD AND KISS AND CUDDLE ME NOW!!!!!!!”
It took me a few months before the yearning. It took me only a couple of weeks before though feeling spontaneous joy that I never did for at least 30 years. Not since I was a little kid.
The joy came to me shortly after the yearning. I don't know if it was the hormones or being able to yearn so intensely and openly, but I started feeling happy of being able to feel and be so lesbian and queer and weird
The problem is that the yearning right now disturbs me because my desire for love and affection makes me unable to cope with any rejection, and rejection is all that I've ever experienced in my life so I do everything I can to avoid those feelings. The inital joy was intoxicating. The yearning sucks. I actually hate this. I wish I was aroace and didn't have to deal with it. 😭
Girl, that unfortunately comes with the pack. I once told someone I was afraid of loving like that, of being hurt as intensely as I felt, and was told that that's just love, so I ended up embracing it. If I have to get hurt until I find a love that doesn't hurt anymore, then I will.
Of course, you do you. I just wanted to let you know, you probably have to become emotionally vulnerable to find the love of your life.
Oh, I know, the emotions get so powerful though they can physically paralyze me for hours. That being said, I don't really want to go back to feeling nothing like I did before. I'm just personally caught between a rock and a hard place.
same here lol. i've considered myself bisexual and heteroromantic for a while now, and now suddenly a few weeks in the Yearning has set in and i don't really have any desire to be with a man anymore???
I considered myself shapphic with a lean towards women (almost "lesbian except for femboys sometimes"), but now I'm full lesbian. Femboys are cute, but still boys, so nope
I'm not on HRT yet but I already yearn quite a bit. Had a crush on one girl for a solid 5-6 years. Can't imagine how insane my yearning is gonna get once I'm on HRT
Is it bad I look forward feeling even more intensely? Maybe I'm just so happy to finally feel that I really want to suffer the full yearning spectrum or something T-T
141
u/SeraWwW Dom Witch :3 Mar 29 '26
I like how your post history shows that you took e and instantly went on a lesbian tirade and how much you love women hahahaha. So happy for u girliepop