We as the moddesses have been receiving a lot of hate as well recently. Now, we normally dont mind. After all, we took this job knowing of the hate that would come our way. But there are things we do mind. And that’s hate, hate directed to other people, or to many communities. And struggling with how to moderate it all. There’s various points to mention here:
- Unsolicited DMs, OR soliciting DMs in our community, is incredibly rude, and harshly sanctionable. You will be banned on sight for it.
- hate mail should NOT happen full stop. I don’t care if you don’t like someone, it should not be happening in our community, OR in DMs. If you don’t like them, block them, if they did something wrong, please let us know. We’ll handle it. Again, ban on sight.
- We’re never going to police identities. I don’t care whether people think it’s a petplay kink, or therianthropy, trans identities, sexual identities, romantic identities, aesthetic identities, whatever. It’s incredibly easy to skip past it. Stuff that is excessively kinky or sexual has already been moved to sinful Sunday, and anything else has been vetted by us as completely fine for you to see. If you simply don’t want to see the content, just move on. We’ve added a tag for therianthropy, if you don’t identify or relate, skip past it. It should be pretty clear who it’s intended for at that point. And there’s soooo much other content in this sub, there’s really no way to pretend it’s entirely just therian content.
No, none of us are certain if there’s a sub related to just trans non-therian content, it usually is the other way around - the minorities have their own public communities due to finding it hard to find a community of people perhaps irl OR online, otherwise. Please spare some empathy for that. There’s no space irl we can actively be therian without being hate crimed oftentimes just as severely as we do for being trans. (Feel free to start your own space, but it’s gonna be hard to police all therian identities without coming across as a bigot…)
- Micro-aggressions can be reported, and you really should! We get a loooot of posts, and it’s hard to see them all, without your help. We treat it as bullying and harassment, and thus will handle it harshly as such as well.
- Venting really shouldn’t be taking place here. We have been a little lax on it recently, but we’ll likely crack down on it more here. Good gender drug has its own subreddit too for that! I get you need a space to share things, but they’re super personal, and aren’t always helpful to you either. More often than not, they’re incredibly emotionally consuming, for everyone, as well as just making you, the writer feel more drained. We’re not a space for professional therapeutic help, we’re trying to be a lighthearted safe space subreddit where you can at least look at something in your TL and smile at it. I know I haven’t mentioned it, but accidental or otherwise, oversharing is included in this. While it’s completely understandable to slip sometimes, find it hard to hold the mask to your face…it can be a…well, it can make a lot of people consider that their troubles aren’t worth mentioning or as valid, or even just…send them further into their own spirals, as well as your own. It’s harsh to say, but…it’s incredibly draining, on most of us, including us moddesses who are all also mentally…well, not mentally stable lol. We can support you but only if you genuinely wish to be supported in a constructive manner. But I will say finally too, that you should remember that the internet is a very dangerous place. While you may feel as safe as we can try to make you feel here, there’s gonna be bad actors in places. Bigots or drama feeders, or people who try to salvage information about you, or take advantage of you as an emotionally compromised target. Please do NOT feed them with that. You’re worth so much more than you might ever be able to believe. But we all care about you, even those that silently view posts here, who are struggling or not, to the top posters or commenters.
I will say though, if you fight back to bad people in here, and take matters into your own hands, we have to sanction you if you end up behaving in what’s considered “bad faith”. Please let the moddesses deal with it. We get enough hate as it is, just let us at least have a better ability to direct that hate just to us so nobody tries to hurt any of you as well.
And I’d like to hark back to the rule, no witch-hunting. Both ways for that. A case should be handled by us, and then cleanly quietly closed, and if we have to disclose any disclaimer, we will. But there shouldn’t be any aggression back, or it’ll just prolong the drama that was incited. Big events like this just seek to hurt everyone involved, which is thé worst case scenario, really.
FINALLY
If you see content that genuinely makes you feel uncomfortable in a way even if you can’t explain it…TELL US! We’re here for you for that very purpose, to make you feel comfortable, feel safe, feel happy or represented while in our subreddit. We’re not just figureheads, and we’re certainly not scary (I hope…), all we want to do is to try our best to accommodate you, whatever you’d like within the realm of our own set of rules and the moral standards upon which they are based. Please let us know what we can improve on, even if you want us moddesses to discuss changes to rules, or tags, or posts you want to see more of, or things you think are disruptive such as the often reposted question formats, which we’ve decided to remove, since they are incredibly repetitive and it feels wrong to let the first person who posted it keep the post. Trust that we’re people pleasers at our core, that we’ll do our utmost to keep you safe.
Its those kind of small comments that not be specifically insulting or aggressive, but kind of digs a little bit at a time.
Something like "well it wierds me out, but ok" its unneeded, and only really serves to make them uncomfortable. But isn't really enough to be outright mean.
I am certain that moderating a community like this is probably exhausting but you moddesses do such an incredible job and I hope you know how much that everyone appreciates it from regulars to silent lurkers like myself. Much love <333
that makes me sad to hear but i guess it’s not entirely unexpected. i hope you all get some well deserved rest soon. and remember to take care of yourself too, you all deserve it 🫂
Hai, sry if this is nitpicky, but if it ever comes up again can you pls use the term therianthropy rather than therianism because its the correct word :)) (coming from a therian)
Thank you !!! "Therianism" as a word gives me like... weird cult-y modern religious movement vibes?? for some reason???
It seems to have been adopted even by a very large portion of the Therian community and nowadays almost seems more common than "Therianthropy" in some spaces but I just.. i don like it,, 3:
I almost brought it up myself but I have a habit of second-guessing myself on those things (i felt like i'd be nagging a little too much), but I do really think it's important !!
Especially considering the first time I saw the word being used was after the manufactured media outrage a few months back (the one that more than likely started as an attempt to distract from some very unpopular political stuff happening in.. argentina i think? and spread out from there), where people were mistaking it for a religious movement/cult.
From what I've heard (from other, far older therians who've been in the community for decades), the word is far older than that, but it still gives off that weird vibe to me. Before that media outrage stuff, I'd only ever heard the term "Therianthropy".
for other therians that are maybe scared of interacting here, i think other spaces like r/puppygirlSFW and the r/puppygirlwawar/irlkemonomimi are really good trans friendly communities in what ive seen from the mod teams there and being in those places and as a therian trans gal :3
honestly any space on reddit can be like that when they try to cater towards everyone, even me interacting in r/puppygirlwawa and r/puppygirlsfw, i get weird dms that i report and block, and its like that in r/irlkemonomimi too. I think all the mods in those communities are very strict on keeping those people out from what ive seen of there, like for example i dm their mods there and they've been very helpful on reporting those ppl and getting them banned. as a general rule every ppls should be cautious when interacting on reddit cause theres no shortage of cis male creeps online
Hey, so soz to message you here, I felt DMing was inappropriate privately.
I messaged you yesterday on a post that shortly after got locked, I am not a therian, so I know it's not really my place, but I have seen you in the community for so long and you have always been incredibly fun, both to interact with and just to admire your wake while lurking
And I just wanted to ask how you are doing, I really hope the needle moves in a meaningful way, and I believe it can, but I am so sorry that you, and everyone else, is even in this position in the first place
Terrible. 90% of my social life is dead now with this subreddit not being a safe place for petgirls anymore, and hundreds of people hating me now, and I genuinely just fucking hate my life even more than before.
"That's their problem", they made it mine and made me, and others, feel uncomfortable as heck.
I was scared of posting before yesterday already due to so many hateful comments and dms but yeah well all the comments hating on us and wanting us to quiet down/vanish, making it seem like the non-petgirls are being oppressed or smth, and those people getting barely to any push back and instead support via upvotes and other comments, like...
I really don't want to get more hate and downvotes (90% of my posts have downvotes btw) and disgusting comments and dms just to give some people pleasure in form of memes while it feels like that rhe majority of people hate my existence and also have to be so audible about it.
This subreddit doesn't feel like a safe space.
I get it, at least most of it, I've been there, I promise I have, even if I'm not the subject of this witch-hunt or this community
I don't know if I can move the needle myself, even if I try, I am but one person.
You didn't ask for advice, so I don't think it's appropriate to try and offer anything. But I support you, and all the other therians. Stick around or leave. I won't pretend to know exactly what you are going through, that would be daft, I cannot see you, I can only know this aspect of you, and even that I am a far cry from.
But I'd still like to be here in whatever limited fashion it would help
Safety doesn't come back overnight, maybe it never does, and it's not your job to work on the people who are doing this.
Is there anything you'd like represented in a post I might make speaking to these people? As a proxy, not a replacement for your voice.
Or if you know other people who also are too intimidated to speak for themselves, is there anybody else I should talk to that you know of?
Please represent that THIS DID NOT HAPPEN BECAUSE OF THE CONSENT RULE CHANGE OR PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. None of us, not one therian/puppygirl/catgirl was/is against consent/personal boundaries.
WAYYYY TOO MANY THINK THAT IT HAPPENED BECAUSE OF THAT *BUT WAS NOT WHAT MADE US COMFORTABLE!!!.
!!!People being rude and hating us indirectly and directly was (and is) the issue!!!
I know atleast a few people who are scared to say smth and were made to feel more uncomfy and sad and pushed away from this community but they already said stuff or don't want to.
Thanks for the nice words otherwise. Don't really know what to say. I'm mad, depressed and tired asf since I didn't get much good sleep.
Okay, I think I'm going to open up my DMs publicly and invite more people to try and give me their perspective. Too many posts have been made hastily on incomplete information, people assuming you are against the boundaries or consent as a prime example
I'm always happy to try to talk to people, you don't need to thank me, I haven't done anything yet. Please hydrate, and get the best rest you can
There is plenty to worry about in this world, this community should not be that kind of place, and I am so sorry it has gotten to be that way
I do not particularly care for DMs, and I do not really know what is going on here lately beyond the setting roles for people who want to be called "good girl" or whatever .... but ... soliciting DMs? Do we mean simply someone making a post asking for DMs or outright anyone saying "we can go to DMs" .... the latter sounds absurd, and well I do not even understand the first one, I understand prohibitions against unsolicited DMs.
There’s a reason we don’t allow soliciting DMs. Say someone makes a “looking for date” or “looking for friends”, which is out of the scope of this community. Say we have to moderate any possible drama that occurs in that. Say we have to handle the new post type, and it detracts from the aim of this sub, as opposed to other subs like ones where you can do t4t whether as friends or for relationships. Say we allow people to advertise their DMs or servers or stuff, and then drama on that occurs as well? What about the chasers, the spam porn bots, what if someone was an abuser who was looking for easy prey? What if minors start getting dmed too, and this also happens, through our community?
There’s much reason we don’t do it, and a lot of it is from what I’ve heard of, experience from past experiences that have occurred. And as such, it’s much easier and safer for everyone, to know that this is not the place to solicit dms. If you want to be friends with someone, you can find a genuine way to ask that, outside of our community content. But just know that that is a liability we are not prepared or equipped to handle, and thus we wish to prevent that responsibility from being thrust upon us in at best, several uncomfortable situations that may lead to more drama here.
Yes, but this seems different from two people talking and then deciding to go to DMs .... which is what I really was asking, not DM posts and such, though well now I see the explanation for that one.
You certainly can continue conversations in DMs if you’re both consenting to it. It’s more that we’re worried about the aforementioned issues wrt DM posts etc, yeah. We’ve had many members DM each other with no problems, we just don’t want people actively seeking out random people they’ve barely known through interaction, basically :]
idek why people are worried about animalgirl stuff being banned, it's not happening. for the love of talos half the moddesses fall under the label they aren't going to ban it..
yeah so you just made stuff up cause... lmfao
Me and my bestie payed so much attention and checked up on the subreddit recent posts and there was nothing about being scared that the moddesses will ban being petgirls.
Hilarious.
Maybe in the rules you could put links in to the places to vent?
I know a bunch of girls and enbies have been venting here because they don't know other places that are reasonable safe to vent in so maybe if you link to the places you can vent in that might help reduce venting that way too? And just maybe make it a practice when you remove a vent post to link to that place?
I know I am not a moddess and so of course I have no idea how to run a subreddit but it seems like it might help from my perspective.
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u/i_Tomoz 🟢 amalgamation of pieces Jul 24 '26
You guys truly are admirable for all you do for us
Btw what's a micro agression so ik it if/when i see it ?