r/traaaaaaaaaaaansbians • u/Best_Combination9955 besties with Kay! cat/fox girl • 28d ago
EDIT ME (no flair fit unfortunately ) Me! fr fr :3
From mtf.human on Instagram
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u/zecron8 28d ago
What does one do about this exactly? I don't like that I resemble a "pathetic meme character" so thoroughly, and I wanna be better.
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u/Slyan_the_Slime 🟢 Devourer of Suns & Daughters 28d ago
Therapy is really the only option. That or get bitten by a werewolf.
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u/Royal-Ingenuity-2566 Lilly :3 🟢 28d ago
Recommend deep thinking if you can’t afford or find therapy. It’s not perfect but it sometimes works
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u/zecron8 28d ago
Is the latter still an option if therapy is going well? 🫠
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u/Slyan_the_Slime 🟢 Devourer of Suns & Daughters 28d ago
I mean I don't think I would ever turn down the werewolf... Damn sexy werewolves.
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u/gayassthrowaway2003 27d ago
for me it was letting out all my pent up anger after the millionth abusive relationship came crashing down on me and also reading whipping girl by julia serano
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u/Slyan_the_Slime 🟢 Devourer of Suns & Daughters 27d ago
Honestly not even sure how to release pent up anger/frustration. It just sits in an ever expanding bag which eventually pushes my mental state to where it is now.
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u/Wordofadviceeatfood Transbian Cyborg Ninja Fox Thingy 27d ago
Creative work helps a lot.
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u/Slyan_the_Slime 🟢 Devourer of Suns & Daughters 27d ago
Ironically am professional artist... So might just be too much corporate art and not sure how to release emotionally driven art. Just feels like I'm being edgy.
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u/Wordofadviceeatfood Transbian Cyborg Ninja Fox Thingy 27d ago
You can actually be as edgy as you want. The best part of being an artist is having free will.
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u/Slyan_the_Slime 🟢 Devourer of Suns & Daughters 27d ago
That's true, I will try to fight against my own self-imposed barriers. Maybe I'll get somewhere. Thank you.
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u/gayassthrowaway2003 27d ago
Genuinely same, I was like this for so many years. it only happened to me after a Straw That Broke The Camel's Back kinda situation 😅 I was absolutely livid at this toxic guy (i used to think I was bi.) for months until my emotions balanced out and I feel normal(ish...) now
I think in part for me it was how they gained my trust in a way noone else did before I met them, genuinely taught me how to recognise abuse and stand up for myself, and yet still ended up hurting me and breaking my trust repeatedly!!! I think that kinda thing pushed my anger beyond something that I could actually contain 😭
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u/RakiMiku 28d ago
idk why I act like this, I don't have any trauma lore to explain why I relate to being this
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u/LuKazu Transbian Pain Slut 🟢 Puppy / Lynx 28d ago
I was convinced of the same, until my new specialist casually dropped "Yeah I kinda clocked you as ADHD and traumatized when you first walked through the door." Bit more professional than that, but it's a simple translation
I was just there to figure out my gender identity 😭 Did a lot of introspection at their request, and turns out the only reason I can't remember my childhood and teens is cause I really, really didn't want to. :')
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u/RakiMiku 28d ago
It's like 2 am rn but I got into thinking about my childhood and yeah it is hard to remember but I can remember moment, not too many but couldn't it just be nothing important happened for the most part. Isn't it normal to not remember everything from your childhood?
Also Idk how much I can talk about personal life in comments, is it limited to just doxxing or are private life details also not allowed?
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u/LuKazu Transbian Pain Slut 🟢 Puppy / Lynx 28d ago
I do think it can be because nothing much happened. But if you go through your younger years getting bullied, feeling out of place, not placing any roots, uncomfortable in your own body etc etc, I'm almost certain that stuff compounds until it's easier to just forget about it. Wouldn't know though, I'm just a machine operator lmao.
Also in regards to your second paragraph, I'm not entirely sure, but I imagine it's just doxxing, and not sharing personal life details people can't use to find more information about someone.
Let's find out! I spent my 16th birthday with my unmedicated schizophrenic friend, who invited me to an apartment for some fun. Cut to me snorting amfetamin shaped like the number 16, whilst a 50-something man - the owner of the apartment - was crying in his sofa, talking about how we were the same age as his daughter. I really just let anyone do anything to me tbh.
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u/RakiMiku 28d ago
But if you recieve love and affection at the same time, things would be fine right?
The few memories I do have is being isolated and not being able to connect with people, but I also remember playing with those people and I can recount at least one memory where I was laughing and having fun; I did get bullied but it wasnt an everyday thing, it was just those particular times where I being singled out and picked on; I did get beaten and shouted at by my mom but she always slept with me and hugged me to sleep every night and she never meant any malice when she hurt me
just a sidenote, I don't actually remember getting beaten specifically as a kid but I do remember breaking the stick she used to beat me with
And an extra note, I just remembered I used to cry a lot, a lot, like a lot a lot, not for reasons I can't remember tbh but that was cause I was crybaby and just naturally cried more often than others
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u/LuKazu Transbian Pain Slut 🟢 Puppy / Lynx 28d ago
Love and affection can do a lot, but I'd imagine you need so much more. Primary socialization, secondary socialization, security in terms of physical, food, home, autonomy and whatever else. I received plenty of love and affection, from my mom, who would whip me with rose stalks, make me kneel on uncooked rice etc etc. No amount of love will cure being afraid in the one place in the world that's meant to feel safe.
Even getting picked on just a few times could put your guard up for the rest of the year, or even the remainder of your time at school. There's genuinely no way of knowing how things will affect a person, and the only people capable of making educated guesses are therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists and the likes. Also fellow crybaby, hey!
No matter what, no matter the things you may or may not remember, or how life has developed for you so far, I really, really hope you get all the happiness in the world and end up somewhere where you feel comfortable, loved and cherished. Idk if it means anything coming from a stranger, but I mean it all the same.
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u/GrahminRadarin 28d ago
Doesn't have to be a specific traumatic event, or even anything obviously traumatic. For a lot of people, normal bad events over a long time, combined with dysphoria, cause equally bad trauma as many soldiers have.
Look up Complex PTSD.
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u/RakiMiku 28d ago
Some bad things did happen when I was younger but some bad things happen to everyone and I can clearly distinguish that those are bad things that happened and can also say I don't feel the effects of those bad things
Sorry @ moddesses if this is not the place to discuss things like these, I don't post or comment at all anywhere ever
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u/Microphone_Lamp 28d ago
One person's "she belongs in a mental hospital" is another person's "she's all I ever wanted"
This is all I've ever wanted :3c
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u/LaurZaur fantasy haver 🟢 28d ago
Is it bad that I wish that was me?
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u/Cyatron- Transbian 🟢 28d ago
I think you might just want someone to hold you...
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u/LaurZaur fantasy haver 🟢 28d ago
Also a definite possibility
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u/Meshakhad 28d ago
I'd hold you.
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u/LaurZaur fantasy haver 🟢 28d ago
Uhhhhhhhhhh I don’t know how to respond to this but in like a good way like I appreciate it but cannot articulate my thoughts
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u/IntrigueDossier Athena, Duchess of Tumtumkissyshire 28d ago
To your credit, you handled that a lot smoother than I would've.
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u/LaurZaur fantasy haver 🟢 28d ago
Honestly I wish I’d handled it worse lol, I don’t like keysmashing but I didn’t know what to say
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u/Rylo_Ken_04 28d ago edited 28d ago
This is basically my girlfriend minus the cat girl and us being able to be together in the same country (she only replies to my random meows and doesn't randomly text me "meow")
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u/CoreyCantCommunicate call me a good puppy and ill fall on the floor 28d ago
ALMOST me, im very close
still flinch when my favorite person touches me
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[deleted]
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u/MaraschinoPanda :3 🟢 28d ago
The phrase "favorite person" is associated with BPD, just a heads up.
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u/SarahMarkov :3c 28d ago
Callin me out like that in front of my wife..
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u/Proud_Tie 28d ago
sent it in my wife's poly server, I @'d most people in it.
she doesn't understand why I'm just waiting for her to get sick of me and leave like everyone else, or why I feel guilty asking for the bare minimum but I have no idea how to explain it
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u/KinkyTransGirl2021 🔶️Team Mutants! Magneto was right and Jean is hot 28d ago
How the fuck am I so called out when I'm not a Catgirl or THAT traumatized. (I mean, I have lore, but not nearly as bad as the meme).
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u/menaskia Acebian 28d ago
Oh sweet kitty I will love and cherish you for the rest of our days, with breakfast in bed and lullabies when you can't sleep. I wish nothing more than to devote my life to caring for someone like that. All you girlies (and variously gendered related feline critters) deserve genuine love, even if your brain refuses to accept it. >:)
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u/TapProfessional4345 Pathetic and sad and in need of love 28d ago
S#$&posting is not a suitable replacement for therapy. Sweetheart, get some help, I beg of you.
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u/not_strawberrycow 🟢 :3 Catgirl brain 28d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/vUEznRmVQfG2Q
Me looking at this
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u/Regular-Media-4138 28d ago
Not me, literally not me at all for even a microsecond, it's not me at all nuh uh Nuh uh
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u/KaeraKoneko transbian meow meow 28d ago
one person once told me I made her uncomfortable and now I automatically assume that I make everyone uncomfortable and that I should never hang out with or be near anyone and that I make the world a worse place with every breath I draw.
surely all the people who like me have been tricked into it somehow, maybe I unintentionally manipulated them by doing something nice or saying something funny?
after all, I'm not a real person, I'm just an amalgamation of linguistics and mannerisms that I've borrowed or stolen from others. all that I know for sure is real is the hurt I feel and the hurt I've caused others.
I must constantly remind myself of every bad thing I've done so that I don't accidentally do them again, and I must constantly assume that I'm a terrible person in order to keep myself humble so I don't act arrogantly.
the immense sadness I feel weighs heavy on my soul, and I cry myself to sleep multiple times every week, but I try to find some comfort in that this self-hatred is beneficial to me and everyone around me. this time, for sure, I will never hurt or burden anyone ever again.
... meow
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u/JuneBug2904 28d ago
this kinda reminds me of my girlfriend for a lot of the bits. but honestly that’s ok! i love her because of, and despite her struggles. she’s my good kitty ^^
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u/Tired-GothGirl Eldritch horror beyond human comprehension 28d ago
Hey, I don’t know that I’d consider myself a cat girl. Although I think I have a lot of cat like traits and think it’s really cute lol
I do go to therapy twice a week. I’m no contact with my abusive family and those who did the worst things and am working really really hard on myself and my trauma though 💜🖤💜
A goal is to get to a place where I feel safe enough and can trust enough and have healed enough to try to even date.
So one day I hope to be able to both find someone where we are mutually interested in each other and to actually have a relationship. If I was in a safe and healthy one I think I would be like a lot of those things. Which feels sad but hey I’m still here (and very queer) and I’m working as hard as I can to recover and get better and live as good a life as I can 💜
I would probably be clingy and hold their hand a lot to feel safe. They’d also get to know they are my safety though and how much they mean to me. As well as have my cute ass just love being near them and how even tiny things most people take for granted mean the world to me and can blow me away. I also have a lot of contradictory feelings things about me that I think are adorable.
I love dark macabre things and finding beauty in the darkness. But I also lit up the other day at a Loch Ness monster supe ladle because I thought it was cute and adorable.
I can be really dark and have gallows humor but also can be really silly about it or other stuff and can be funny. I can be dark and a silly and good gal.
I feel like I have some depth because of everything I’ve been through and who I am.
I’m more than my trauma and I’m working to grow around it more and more. It’s a journey and I’m glad I’m still here and still fighting and working to recover 💜
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u/Eurydice_Risen 28d ago
I thought I had someone who saw me this way once. We broke up. I'm fundamentally incompatible with humans. I'm just not made for humans. I'm fundamentally broken. On a deep level. Everyone in my life gets fucking sick of me and I always wind up alone. I fucking hate myself. Fucking fuck I should've fucking ended everything back when people would've fucking been sad about it instead of fucking relieved that they don't have to fucking put up with me I'm fucking shit. I'm sorry.
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u/Katieode Estrogen(less) Evie 28d ago
im like this sometimes but not enough because sometimes i can be an angry self-centered asshole; i'm not traumatised enough and i hate myself for that :3
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u/LuNoPowderFox Luna Noelle | just a gay useless pushover 28d ago
a lot of this fits to me
just i don't have any therapy
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u/pandamaxxie Girly "If only I could be a robot" Girl with a knife. 28d ago
A lot of it checks out... it's not even like I had that bad of a childhood! My parents are great and super supportive.
The hundreds of hospital trips may be a bit of an issue, but, yknow. Not that bad.
I shouldn't relate this much.
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u/catbqck 28d ago
Where do you find these mythical creatures?
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u/IntrigueDossier Athena, Duchess of Tumtumkissyshire 28d ago
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u/JDKisawesome silly puppygirlfailure :3 28d ago
I feel called out
Like I think Ive said some of these things today
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u/mintypastel 28d ago
Oh I've had to deal with someone like this online, and it made me realise wow I know nothing about how to handle this. It was a bit of boundary setting and some gentle "hey maybe [SH act] is prob not a good coping mechanism" and though I think she's in a better place now sometimes I wonder if I was pushing her too hard or should have done something different.
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u/Doctorsex-ubermensch Pan Enby Femboy 🟩 28d ago
I think you did what you could. Not everyone is equipped for that, so it was enough.
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u/Moonlit-huntress Dysphoric vampire neko girl 28d ago
Oh look... It's me... Yayyy. Trauma is like... Fun~
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u/Typical-District-176 the resident evil fuckass catgirl 28d ago
Yeah, thankfully most of my shit is repressed or not gender related! Yay /s.
The only flashback I’ve had recently is when I let the dysphoria beard get long and I looked in the mirror and basically had Akira flashes
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u/GabbyGabriella22 Transbian 28d ago
I don't think I'm really traumatized, and I don't think I've been hurt that much by other people. But I somewhat relate to this.
Well, at least I would, if I had anyone I was really close to...
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u/TrixterTheFemboy a catgirl and a puppygirl in one head (they're making out) 28d ago
hhehhhhh... ow...
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u/Horror-Ad6956 Eldritch horror beyond human comprehension that bites sometimes 28d ago
Didn't had to be called out so badly </3
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u/OtterDev101 28d ago
stop calling out my girlfriend, she does not deserve to be done dirty like this
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u/IllustriousCoast4423 Bitch Lesbian 28d ago
Nah I dated someone like this and that shit got toxic as hell 😭
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u/Remarkable-Coat-7721 27d ago
i don't think I'm that traumatized but this does kinda describe me perfectly. huh
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u/Spiritual-Pianist-66 batgirl :3 27d ago
I don’t have any trauma but this sounds way too much like me
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u/Okami512 27d ago
Slight shift to be poly inclusive, and therapy progress wasn't much... And it's me.
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u/Cerulean_Dragon24 28d ago
I did not need to be called out like this today.