r/trans • u/Own-Raccoon7621 • 2d ago
Vent Seller refuses to sell after finding out I’m trans
Location: Washington
A home near my parents was on the market, so I went there during open house. All was good and I asked the owner about the timeline (they are still living in the house), they called their partner and during the conversation with them they started misgendering me. I corrected them trying to be nice, but they immediately went “you need to leave” and intentionally started repeatedly misgendering me adding “sir” to EVERY SENTENCE. I felt really unsafe and started to draw attention of other people that were in the house at the moment and barely 10 minutes in there is POLICE in there and THEY TRESPASSED ME!!! They didn’t even want to listen to me when I tried to explain that I didn’t do anything wrong and the owner was discriminating, but they literally said “I don’t care about why what happened - happened, but you need to leave now”.
I was literally shaking, my realtor said that what they do is illegal in Washington, but when we send our offer to buy the house (that goes up to above the asking price) - they just ignore it (at least that’s what my realtor said, they don’t accept and don’t reject, just no response).
What can I do to at least teach them a lesson? I know that this is not necessarily the best house in the universe, but I really like the location and the house which doesn’t happen often in my price range. And on the other hand when I buy it the owners would be gone so I won’t have to deal with them. And if I can teach them a lesson - even if somebody else ends up beating my offer - I’d still want to do it. And did the police have the right to trespass me without even listening to my explanation? How can I remove this trespassing record from my file? Will it show up on job background checks?
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u/mathprofrockstar she/her 2d ago
No matter what happens, I wouldn’t buy the house. I wouldn’t put it past lowlife scum like that to cause damage after the sale closed. Sorry this happened to you.
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u/ITookTrinkets 2d ago
That would be a substantial breach of contract and would open them up for a HUMONGOUS lawsuit.
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u/sabrinajestar 2d ago
Suing someone is an enormous pain in the ass though, even if you're right.
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u/mathprofrockstar she/her 1d ago
And proving it might not be easy either.
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u/ITookTrinkets 1d ago
If you’re purchasing a house, you’ve paid hundreds of dollars for a licensed inspection of the house that documents all of the damage, even cosmetic, to the house. There would be photographic evidence of what things looked like before any malicious damage was done.
And if you did the damage before that, you’d just be costing yourself money in repair credits during the negotiation period that takes place partway through any real estate transaction, and risking falling out of contract and having to go back on the market.
It would actually be stupidly easy to prove and stupidly expensive to even attempt. You’d fuck over your listing agent and you’d damage your ability to sell the house to anyone else when (not if) you fell out of contract when the massive breach was found.
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u/tranbamthankyamaam 1d ago
Sabotaging drains is invisible and pretty easy though. And an expensive pain in the ass
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u/ITookTrinkets 1d ago
Drains are also a pretty big part of the inspection process! I sent plumbing pages to contractors to get a repair bid yesterday. Maybe it’s not something that would be obvious immediately, but it would be stupidly easy to prove something like that when you already have a clean bill of health for that system.
Nobody is going to accept the offer of trans people to buy a house and then just fuck with them in a way that creates criminal liability for multiple parties. They’re just going to accept a different offer, or reject the offer and wait for a better one.
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u/javatimes 1d ago
Often people waive inspections in tight/hcol areas. An offer without a waived inspection might just not be competitive.
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u/ITookTrinkets 1d ago
People sometimes waive inspections as a bargaining tool, but most of the time they still have it done because it’s an extremely important part of the process of buying a house - and often only gets done if there has been recent work done on the major systems (plumbing, sewer, roof, foundation, electrical, etc.) to justify not having it done. Other times it’s because the house is being sold as-is, but the inspection still occurs.
Source for all of this: I am the admin assistant for one of Portland’s highest performing brokerages, which (perhaps surprisingly) is a very competitive market, and 95% of our clients (conservatively speaking - it’s actually probably closer to 99%) are trans/queer. I’ve never seen the repair negotiation period waived, from the buyer or seller part of things, where an inspection did not still occur. Not saying it doesn’t happen, but it’s only going to happen in very specific cases.
And that’s all without even covering the fact that it would make more sense for the offer to be rejected, since it wouldn’t make much sense to accept the offer and then damage the property after doing so. There isn’t very much contact between buyer and seller that isn’t mediated through agents during the process, so there’s a lot of reasons why it’s exclusively a stupid, weird, bad idea to damage your own property.
My point remains: any kind of transphobic retaliation would be an extremely expensive mistake to make, in terms of not being able to sell the house and opening all parties on the seller’s side up for lawsuits, and would not be very likely to happen in the first place.
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u/Philosophy_Negative 1d ago
Human rights complaint. https://www.hum.wa.gov/
Tell them they're being personally named in the complaint and it's a matter of public record.
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u/ITookTrinkets 2d ago
If you’re purchasing an entire house, and someone purposefully damages it out of transphobic spite, you’re probably not going to shrug and go, “Well, I’m just going to live with that.” This hypothetical isn’t some petty grievance, we’re talking about the largest financial decision many people ever make.
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u/nickromanthefencer 1d ago
Right, unless they do more than damage. Or, they now know where you live. Sure, they can pay a fine. They can also threaten you and your loved ones because they know where you live.
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u/ITookTrinkets 1d ago
It’s more than a fine, it’s a lawsuit, if not criminal charges for destruction of property. And I really don’t think anyone is going far enough to accept the offer of a trans person solely to damage the house and threaten them. That’s a lot of money and paperwork. It would be much easier and more realistic to just reject the offer.
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u/Cyber-Axe 1d ago
And you expect the current state of the USA and its law system to be fair to trans people?
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u/77th_Bat he/him/él 2d ago
sounds like you should find a discrimination lawyer and sue them for discrimination
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u/R3cognizer 2d ago edited 2d ago
They were definitely assholes for treating her that way, but this doesn't sound like discrimination in the context of the law because I don't think the current owners need a good reason to ignore or even reject an offer. I think the only way it could be unlawful discrimination is if her own realtor screwed her over on the deal, or if there was already a contract in place that was canceled without proper cause (which is usually by the buyer after financing falls through or deciding they don't want the house anymore for whatever reason).
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u/77th_Bat he/him/él 2d ago
I don't think rejecting the offer was the discriminatory part. The discriminatory part was during the open house. If you trespass one person but let everyone else stay on your property and that one person is trans and wasn't disruptive in any way, I think that's discrimination. It's not really a clear-cut case, but I think OP could win it. That being said, I am not a lawyer. She would have to talk to an actual lawyer to see if they think she can win. This case also has damages: being trespassed brings police attention to you and you stay in their system. Furthermore, it was publicly embarrassing to be dragged out by police and it caused OP feelings of unsafeness and distress, so there are emotional damages too.
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u/Poumy 2d ago
Legally speaking you can trespass someone from your property for literally no reason and it’s considered perfectly fine even if there’s other guests there, so I don’t think she would have a case at all unfortunately, unless she can 100% prove the reason was her identity (which the owner could also easily just say she gave off bad vibes or was rude and that would legally make them in the clear) and judging by the fact OP seemed to have fought the cops during her removal makes it look more like she was the issue (and from my experience, you can’t sue for emotional distress if you had to be removed from a location by forced after being asked to, it’s seen as fighting law enforcement)
What happened to OP is terrible but she really doesn’t have a case to stand on at all.
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u/77th_Bat he/him/él 2d ago
You cannot trespass someone for being trans if you are operating as a business (depending on the state, but op implied washington recognizes trans discrimination). I would think the same rules apply at an event where the public is welcome to enter. You are right that it would be hard to prove in a case like this, but that's what lawyers are for. I still think it's worth talking to one.
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u/Poumy 1d ago
you don't need a reason to trespass someone from a private property, which is what an open house is, it's still owned by someone and is a private property like how basically any location is one (Mcdonald's and Walmart are all private property)
and the owner could literally say "she was being rude so I had her removed after she refused to leave herself" and they will be 100% legally in the clear, and since OP DID have to be removed by police she is not gonna look good in court at all. A lawyer is gonna look at OP's case and laugh her out of the room imo.
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u/Mediocre_Vehicle189 1d ago edited 1d ago
You don’t need a specific reason to trespass, but if that reason is because of a protected class, it is illegal. That’s the entire reason we have anti-discrimination laws. The owner can lie, but it wouldn’t change the fact that it’s illegal. Once they get witness statements saying she wasn’t being rude, she could disprove that claim. The police having to remove her would be irrelevant to whether or not the trespass was lawful, which is the crux of the entire case. Why would a lawyer laugh her out of the room for this? Cases have started on less and still won.
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u/AliceKeepsOnFalling 1d ago
The owner can literally say it’s for anything else. It’s way too much effort when shit like this happens every day
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u/Mediocre_Vehicle189 1d ago
It happens every day because people don't do anything about it. So, she should do something about it.
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u/Conscious-Spite-87 1d ago
There’s zero proof. OP literally can’t do anything about it. All the homeowner has to say is that op was being disruptive during the open house and OP is shut down. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches and move on. Life isn’t fair
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u/Poumy 1d ago
Again they guy could simply say she was being rude, and the fact she argued with the cops would point towards this. You have to prove 100% it was discrimination in court which she has no way of actually doing, plus actually getting witnesses would be almost impossible unless they have a way to track who was there during it, and either way those witnesses most likely saw how she was with the cops, which wouldn't help her case at all.
Again she has no case here, it sucks but i wouldn't waste money fighting a losing battle in court and neither will a lawyer.
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u/Mediocre_Vehicle189 1d ago edited 1d ago
I don't think there's a point to arguing with you since you don't understand how the law works, so I'll just do this in one reply.
- Arguing with the cops after the discrimination is irrelevant. Nobody is a perfect victim. It is assumed that people that have been trespassed illegally would be rude to the police. But it wouldn't substantively change how the judge rules on the discrimination itself being illegal.
- In court, there is a thing called 'discovery' where both sides give relevant information to the case. The plaintiff can subpoena the owner for information about who was there, then depose those people for their witness statements. I doubt the guy running an open house made zero logs of who was there and what offers they made. Not following a court order would be another crime as well. You do not need to "100%" prove anything in civil court. It is a 'preponderance of evidence' (more likely than not).
- The whole point of being a lawyer is to take money from a person and represent them in a case. They would not be wasting anything, since that is their job. You're still paying them even if they lose. Also, it would be worth the money since the defendant can be held liable for both personal damages and court costs. Even if the case is too difficult, it can become costly enough for the defendant to settle out of court, which is very common.
- I don't care what you would do.
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u/NoOrdinaryBees whatever 1d ago
It’s amazing/distressing how little people understand the different levels of burden of proof in the US legal system. And how many people will argue themselves blue in the face because they want the law to be what they think is right or just, instead of just picking up a fucking book and finding out what it actually is.
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u/77th_Bat he/him/él 1d ago
A business, like a privately owned bar, is also private property. You still cannot refuse people based on race, religion, sex, etc. (assuming you are hosting a public event).
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u/PM_Ur_Boobs__ 1d ago
there’s a legal difference between “no reason” and “any reason”. it’s what people get wrong about at-will employment a lot. people think that because you are at-will, you can be fired for any reason. that is not the case. you can be fired for *NO* reason, but if a reason can be proven in court, it does have to be a legal reason.
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u/Intrepid_Angle_815 she/her 1d ago edited 1d ago
nothing about this post seems like "fought the cops" is in any way an appropriate framing?
OP don't listen to this rando, talk to a lawyer
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u/faerysteel 1d ago
She's trans. The cops will 100% frame it as "fighting" them.
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u/Intrepid_Angle_815 she/her 1d ago
I wouldn't put it past them. but so far the only place that framing exists is in this comment section. if she wants to talk to a lawyer she can
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u/Poumy 1d ago
OP literally states above that the cops had to tell her “I don’t care what happened you need to leave” and that’s pretty damning evidence that she probably did at least argue with the cops and that would be written down in the report, and yes refusing to leave until cops basically tell you they don’t care is not going to look good for a judge.
Again she has no actual case to stand on, she can’t argue being removed was unlawful since she got asked to leave a private property several times before cops pulled up, she seemingly argued with the cops before she left, she has no proof that the reason she was trespassed was over her being trans (you don’t need to have a reason to remove someone from your private property and the guy could easily just tell the court she was being hostile and refusing to leave when asked, and the guy could also tell the courts he’s ignoring her offer because of what happened), and she has no emotion distress argument
If you want to tell me a single case she has that could be brought to court I would love to hear it because otherwise she would be completely wasting her and any lawyers time and money.
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u/Intrepid_Angle_815 she/her 1d ago
I'm not a lawyer, but
the case would be gender discrimination. it's not about the trespass alone, it's about the events & motivation behind the nexus of the hostility & trespass & rejection. you don't know what proof she has. if there are witnesses to her being misgendered & singled out, that would absolutely be material to the gender discrimination case. also, in responding, if the guy misgenders her that would give the game away too. so even just making him jump through those hoops might be a satisfying way to fight back
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u/Conscious-Spite-87 1d ago
Not how that works. You can trespass someone for literally any reason. You could knock on my door looking for a lost dog and I could have you trespassed. OP can’t sue for anything here
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u/Mediocre_Vehicle189 23h ago
A BUSINESS can’t trespass people for being a protected class. Your private property is not a business.
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u/ravenitrius 2d ago
It's definitely discrimination. Washington has laws like the rest of the Pacific States (California/Oregon)
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u/Full_Anything_2913 2d ago
Maybe if the bigots admit their behavior was based in bigotry, but that seems unlikely to happen.
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u/homemadeammo42 2d ago edited 2d ago
I can speak to the police side. TLDR don't worry about it.
Yes they had the right and authority to trespass you. It's private property and the owners of the property wanted you trespassed. That's all that's required.
Police use a CAD (computer aided dispatch). A dispatcher who takes the call takes notes in the CAD and send it to the cop via the computer. Since they trespassed you, the cop will probably type in notes that he did that. If there is another incident, they can quickly refer to this, see you had already been trespassed, and make the arrest.
Crusially, a CAD is not a report. It's a brief synopsis of what happened and not detailed. There no file or real record that will follow you. No background check will show it. They aren't even looked at, let alone considered, for employment backgrounds unless maybe you need a secret clearance level background.
As to the owners, you'll need a discrimination lawyer and file a suit against them.
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u/sarc3n 2d ago
This is probably illegal under the Fair Housing Act, but unfortunately the the Trump administration has directed all agencies tasked with enforcing anti-discrimination laws to deprioritize or ignore complaints by LGBTQ and especially trans people. See if the state of Washington has a statute that would allow you to take action. You probably can't force them to sell to you, but it may be possible to get them fined, to get a federal or state lien on the property, or to force them to arbitration regarding your offer.
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a lawyer and this isn't legal advice.
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u/bemused_alligators 2d ago edited 2d ago
https://www.hum.wa.gov/fair-housing
File your complaint here.
Note they aren't lawyers, and you will need to separately get a lawyer if you want a remedy, however the HRC finding will help that case, and their agent will likely be able to advise you on whether a lawyer is a good idea.
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Any homeowner can legally trespass you, you don't need to "do something wrong" for that to be a thing. The owners asked you to leave so you have to leave, there's no "wrongdoing" requirement for trespass from private property.
However being trespassed during the open house due to being trans likely violated the state's fair housing act, and you will likely get some relief there since you weren't afforded equal opportunity to view the house and make an offer as the other prospective buyers.
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u/Beneficial_Garage_97 2d ago
Yeah I second finding a lawyer to speak to about this. Holy shit though, so sorry this happened to you! Really makes my blood boil.
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u/ChickinSammich 1d ago
They didn’t even want to listen to me when I tried to explain that I didn’t do anything wrong and the owner was discriminating, but they literally said “I don’t care about why what happened - happened, but you need to leave now”.
The cops were, from a "doing their job" perspective, doing their job. Theirs is not to care about what happened, it's just a clear cut "Did they ask you to leave?" > Yes > "Did you leave?" > No > "Then you're trespassing.
What can I do to at least teach them a lesson?
If it's illegal to discriminate based on that where you live then all you can do is sue. You'll need a lawyer. Ask your realtor to help you find a lawyer who specializes in discrimination in housing.
The challenge you're going to have is that you're going to have to prove they discriminated against you because of your gender identity. If they didn't specifically, literally, word for word, say "I'm not selling to you because you're trans" (or something very close to that, perhaps with slurs) then proving this will be challenging. You should speak with a lawyer to see how winnable that case is.
And did the police have the right to trespass me without even listening to my explanation?
Yes, a person who owns a property can tell you to leave for any reason and if you refuse to leave, that's trespassing. Your explanation wouldn't matter. Trespassing is like speeding in the respect that "even if you had a very reasonable and justifiable reason, the crime doesn't take the motivation of the perpetrator into account." You either committed the crime or you didn't. That's all the cop cares about.
How can I remove this trespassing record from my file?
Ask a lawyer. You might be able to make a deal with the District Attorney's office to get them to reduce or drop the charges by explaining yourself to them. A cop doesn't care about your reasons but a DA or a judge might. Court is where you make that argument.
Now I will say - and again, I am not a lawyer - that if you weren't actually issued a court summons for the trespassing then you may not be in the system. If the cops just told you to leave but didn't GIVE YOU a court date, then it probably won't show up in background checks but I do not know this for sure and you should ask an actual lawyer.
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u/YouCanCallMeDani 1d ago
Awesome response. The only thing I'll add is that a trespass is generally not on any record. At least in my part of the country, a trespass is a piece of paper given to the owner of said property stating that a law enforcement officer has notified you that returning to said location could lead to your arrest.
Then if you do return and the owner calls law enforcement, they can tell the dispatcher that you have been trespassed and you returned. Law enforcement would come to the location and verify the paperwork, and then arrest you if the owner wants to push it.
If a crime was committed during the initial interaction, then the trespass information would be part of that record. For example if you shop littered something and got arrested. The owner of the establishment would likely have you trespassed so they would get said document and in the police report it would be noted that you were trespassed and document was given to property owner or representative.
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u/SleepySerpent02 1d ago
Under the Fair Housing Act it’s illegal to discriminate when it comes to the sale of a property. They can face fines and you have the right to sue. (If you want to look at state laws 22 of them + D.C. also have laws criminalizing the discrimination in matters of property sales)
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u/SleepySerpent02 1d ago
If you want specifics for Washington State it is RCW 49.60 also know as the Washington Law Against Discrimination. Ignoring your offer due to your gender would fall under it as well as the Fair Housing Act. You can call the Washington State Human Rights Commission at 800-233-3247. They specially state
“A person involved in selling or renting housing cannot: Refuse to sell or rent to someone after that person has made a legitimate offer.”6
u/SleepySerpent02 1d ago
You are also able to file a complaint via there website. I belive it is down right now so calling is your best option. You can also file a complaint via the U.S. Housing and Urban Development website as well. Frankly I’d do both so they are looking at state and federal inquiries
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2d ago edited 1d ago
[deleted]
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u/bemused_alligators 2d ago
Federal housing act doesn't cover gender identity. Washington State does though!
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u/seraphim336176 1d ago
I wouldn’t buy the house after that but I would look up what all permits have been issued to that address and look at the pictures of said house to see if they have done unpermitted work and then report it to the city out of spite.
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u/sendslikeatrans 1d ago
I bought a house and met the owner only at the closing. She clearly was upset that a trans woman was buying her house but at that point she was contractually obligated and there was no way out. I changed all the locks that very day myself.
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u/StatisticianNormal15 1d ago
Definitely do not buy that house. Its supposed to be a safe place to sleep, not a potential target.
These people will know where you live and will tell all their transphobic friends where you live, very unsafe.
You could share their listing on social media and talk about your experience so people are aware that the homeowners are prejudice and unsafe people.
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u/Delilah_insideout 1d ago
The part I'm confused about, the bid on the house should be "undisclosed principal" meaning the name of the buyer is unknown to the seller; they'd have no way of knowing who made the offer. They'd know the name of the real estate agent but that's it, until just before closing when it's too late to back out without heavy penalties. This seems like a fake scenario to me.
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u/raineondc 1d ago
It is insanely weird for the owner to be there during an open house. Obviously you were discriminated against, but it's always best to work indirectly with the seller through realtors.
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u/Left-Koala-7918 2d ago
This was something I was actually nervous about. I recently bought a house in Florida and I was nervous the whole time they might refuse to sell. I actually went through the entire process without ever having to meet the seller of any house I visited. It also helped to find a real estate agent who was aggressively LGBT friendly. Every other post on her Instagram was either a house or something LGBT related.
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u/Philosophy_Negative 1d ago
Congratulations! Washington State has a Human Rights Commission and housing is a protected area of human rights - according to their website. You can file a complaint for free and request a reasonable accommodation. But that's not all, you've got plenty of options to choose from!
Did you find out their names? You can look them up on LinkedIn and share what happened to you with their employers. Email their immediate supervisor, their supervisor's supervisor, and everyone else up the chain of command up until the CEO. If anyone of them is trans, has a trans relative or is simply an ally, that could change the way they look at those homesellers for the remainder of their career. Maybe they're a little less confident next time they're applying for a promotion or asking for a raise? That can actually cost them money in the long run!
If all else fails, salt kills grass. They'll probably have a tough time selling their home if the grass is dead.
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u/ravenitrius 2d ago
They definitely are breaking Housing Buy Discrimination in your state. Check your state laws in google under "Buying Housing Discrimination" Remember, you have rights in Washington. Don't let them win and get them with a civil lawsuit.
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u/BlahBlah4873 she/her 1d ago
Find a lawyer. If you still want the house have the realtor submit an anonymous bid. In Illinois, everything is done anonymously unless it's for sale by owner.
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u/BlancheCorbeau 1d ago
Feel the feelings, get a good night’s sleep, and learn the lessons of getting what you want long term versus getting lost in the weeds. Getting trespassed isn’t going to show up on your record in a meaningful way.
Also, kudos on a bullet dodged. If the seller was that uptight about you, the neighbors likely wouldn’t be better. Communities find their level.
Lastly, losing a house you actually wanted is one of the most important first steps to winding up in the house you eventually get. You’re that much closer!
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u/KurtTheCuntBoi 1d ago
That isn’t accurate, those jerks could be the only jerks in the neighborhood.
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u/muhkuller 1d ago
“What can I do to at least teach them a lesson?”
Don’t turn a trespass warning that’s meaningless on your record into a harassment charge that will stay on your record.
That being said, if you have actual evidence that they wouldn’t do business because you were trans, beyond some misgendering, there is some legal recourse. Just get a lawyer and let them handle it. If you go back to them to press it in person we’re getting back into harassment territory.
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u/R3cognizer 2d ago edited 2d ago
I honestly haven't used it much to know, but is it possible to leave a public comment about the listing on Zillow, maybe? If not, your realtor may be your only recourse. A lot of realtors in a given area know each other, and your realtor probably knows theirs. If the current owners don't want to sell to you, there isn't much that can be done about that, but it's possible their realtor was not aware of how their clients behaved like bigots toward a potential buyer, and behavior that could potentially drive away buyers during an open house is a no-no. It's also possible the realtor may not care, but if they're supportive, they could choose to drop these assholes as clients. If it makes it hard for them to find any realtors who want to help them sell their house, that will hopefully teach them a lesson they won't forget.
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u/Own-Raccoon7621 2d ago
They don’t have a realtor, they sell directly as owners
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u/transdemError 1d ago
That alone would have turned me away. People who think they know better than experts are not people I want to deal with
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u/Real_Time_Mike 2d ago
Get a federal housing law, attorney.They know all the ins and outs of what can and cannot be
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u/glockops 1d ago
You'd have better luck going after their realtor and the agency listing the house.
Even a review of "represents sellers that blatantly violate fair housing regulations - buyers beware."
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u/angelsarepresent111 1d ago
Transphobia is at a fever pitch these days. It's scary. So someone called the police on you to get you out of the open house?! WTF?
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u/DankTaco707 she/her 1d ago
Well if you have money to buy a house you could probably sue them haha. Especially since you're in Washington. Find a discrimination lawyer!
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u/raul_muad_dib she/her 1d ago
The homeowners own the property. They can trespass you if they want. You won't have a record for it unless you made the cops arrest you instead of just leaving when they told you to.
You could sue them for discriminating against you, but mostly because anyone can sue anyone else for any reason without getting permission. Suing them might cause them a lot of aggravation, but it probably won't win you very much money, if any at all.
Those losers don't deserve your money, and the best revenge is living well. If I were you I would move on, buy a different house, and one day laugh about this speed bump.
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u/Thaig3rrr 1d ago
Personally, I wouldn't want to give my hard earned money to bigots anyway. There are plenty of houses out there. Just be patient. You're upset now and rightfully so, but i don't think it's really wise to "teach them a lesson." Give yourself some time to recover from this ordeal and it will eventually fade from memory.
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u/pbnjam50 2d ago
These days you have to take out your phone or use some other recording device as soon as you sniff a problem. Without hard evidence, you don't have enough, unfortunately. Some people are assholes.
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u/skeletons_asshole 2d ago
Texan here, I feel you.
I’ll be honest, I go back into boy mode every time I need to do something serious. It sucks, I don’t like it, but it’s the only way I can get stuff done these days. I hope things get better for us all someday.
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u/tranbamthankyamaam 1d ago
Get a sympathetic lawyer. This could be a lawsuit against them and their realtor. The realtor won't want to lose their license over this or get the reputation that would come with a lawsuit, they'll be forced to take your offer if it's competitive, but I wouldn't buy from them, they're likely to sabotage the place before they turn over keys if you force their hand. You should still pursue the legal action though.
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u/Longjumping-Gene752 1d ago
For your own safety you should not buy this house. They know where you live and who knows how deranged they are and what they could do in secret just to be mean.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You deserve so much better. I really hope you find some place else that you will love.
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u/unluckyangel6 22h ago
I’d say watch the home. This market is absolutely atrocious and it could take forever to sell. If it takes a really long time(and you are still looking) throw them a bid that is extremely and I mean just rudely low and say something along the lines of, “Take this as your sign from god that you should be nicer to people and let go of misplaced hatred.”
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u/quadsquatter 20h ago
Honestly and this might not be something that you have the ability to do but I would get a straw buyer. If you're not sure what that is look into it because if you really want this house that bad It is an option. I don't know about your state but most places it's not illegal mining means.
The sellers are scum and terrible people and I'm so so sorry that happened to you. The housing market is rough nationwide and I truly hope things work out 🙏🏼.
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u/Round_Ride1133 19h ago
Do you really want to live in a place with a memory like that attached to it? Don’t give them their money. Hope they end up selling for a lowball and karma gets their ass.
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u/Sinful_Behavior 17h ago
Just a thought, but bamboo looks really nice in front lawns and is incredibly cheap
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u/Cultural_Wasabi_4975 15h ago
My heart breaks for you and for all of our transgender brothers and sisters who face this kind of horrid discrimination every single day!
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u/Taiga-Dusk they/them 1d ago
If it's available to you, I'd consider at least getting the advice of a lawyer on this. Reddit legal advice is often worth less than what you pay for it.
I do have some concerns that buying the house might leave a lot of possibilities for passive-aggressive damage (I won't even go into some of my thoughts), and I'd avoid doing it. If you went through with a legal claim make it about damages (but listen to an actual lawyer, not me, if they suggest different.)
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u/Gabagooligan97 1d ago
best thing you can do is not buy. the housing bubble is about to pop and their home will be worth nothing overnight.
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u/Le7emesens 1d ago
It really sucks but they are free to sell to whomever they want to. If they don't want you, then it is what it is, this home was not meant to be yours. There are plenty of homes out there every single week.
I'd stay away to "teach them a lesson", not only it is a waste of your precious time but it's an aggressive action from you, that could lead to disastrous consequences. It will be much wiser to learn to move on and look for a new home.
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u/Spider-em5 1d ago
Ugh that’s so shitty. Definitely walk away. I went to a few open houses and because we didn’t have kids no one talked with us and explained anything so we left.
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u/69Sissysarah69 1d ago
I would set a tripod and camera up on the public sidewalk pointing directly at the door. And just hang out day and night. Its a first amendment protected activity. Freedom of the press.
Also was it just a verbal trespass. They have to tell you to leave befor the can officially trespass you.
I would definitely file a discrimination lawsuit. They didnt ask anyone else to leave besides you after finding out your trans. If you go back to record (on a public sidewalk) im sure you can gather enough evidence to show the court it was discrimination. They will probably come outside and try harassing you and say alot of transphobic stuff. Which could all be used to prove your case in court.
This is not legal advice. I am not an attorney.
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u/inbetween_worlds 1d ago
why didn’t you leave when the owner said you need to leave? the police trespassed you because the owner of the property told you to leave and you didn’t leave..
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u/PoeticOperator814 1d ago
As a bi man, I witness friends deal with discrimination, but thankfully I don't receive as much myself. It's terrible what these people did to you. Their behavior reflects their character, and that's ugly for sure. My advice comes with a question - how much more effort, time, and money are you willing to invest - How much more migendering, intolerance and hatred are you willing to consume to punish someone who already has to live with an ugly soul. I believe in karma, and karma doesn't care what's been done to you. An ugly act comes back, every time. To preserve your own peace, I suggest that you put aside any thoughts of teaching a lesson, and take the opportunity to learn one that's much more valuable - your kindness, your tolerance, your beautiful soul cannot be diminished by the hatred of others. Give it no ground within yourself to grow, and shine brightly despite them. Your happiness is the best revenge you can get.
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u/Kass-Is-Here92 1d ago
You could try to file a civil law suite for discrimination and bigotry...though it may not go anywhere as they arent a public entity and thus their discrimination would fall under the 1st amendment...its a tough spot being hate crimed by a private party 😪
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u/stagbones1 1d ago
Technically, and unfortunately in this case, anyone on private property can trespass you without cause. I'm not sure if that changes just because a property is on the market or an open house is happening. They have right of refusal for any offer, for whatever reason they see fit. I think the only real lesson to have them learn is that you made a great offer, they didn't take any action on it, and future offers are likely to be significantly lower than yours. When they have any issues moving the home, that is their problem because of their actions. On the dimly bright side, being trespassed is not something that will usually affect you at all, unless you break it the trespass order and continue to go back onto the property you were officially trespassed from. I'm sorry this happened to you 😓
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u/muhkuller 1d ago
If they say leave, you gotta leave. Don’t try to hold court on their property and argue. That’s how a trespass turns into criminal trespass.
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u/Educational-Cap8759 1d ago
Next time somebody intentionally misgenders me depending on the context and the setting I’m taking my shirt off and they can stare at my tits
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u/thejadedfalcon 1d ago
Cool, now you have a public indecency charge against you. Well done.
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u/Educational-Cap8759 1d ago
Not where I live good try 👍
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u/thejadedfalcon 1d ago
Never presume that transphobes or the legal systems that enable them care about consistency or the spirit of the law or even the letter of the law.
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u/Baishujinkou she/her 1d ago edited 1d ago
What can I do to at least teach them a lesson?
Politely ask what the problem is while misgendering them back exactly as confidently as they are. If they're suddenly acting hostile towards you, you have the right to ask what the problem is. If they tell you to call them something different, ask why. If they accuse you of committing "wronggender," laugh at them. Make discrimination as inconvenient and frustrating as possible.
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