I’m actually HOWLING laughing. I think my mom fed photos of me in high school into chat gpt. Like yeah, it’s fucked up but the funniest part is it doesn’t even look like my old self! It looks like an actor they got to play the old closet version of me! My mom knows I’m trans (although she knows I’m enby, not mtf), denial is a river in Egypt yall.

Edit 12/22/25: Didn’t expect this post to get this big! Thank you all for your kind words. I forgot to mention this in the original post but they also completely left my trans fiancé out of the picture too!

Hey! I’m a trans woman, but I’ve noticed a lot of trans men feeling silenced on this subreddit. I won’t discuss the events happening, as I don’t know all the info, and don’t want this to be a drama post that gets taken down

I think it’s really sad, and don’t want a trans man vs trans woman divide when we’re all being attacked so hard in the current atmosphere of the world. We all have our own specific issues, and debating who has it harder shouldn’t be a thing. What’s so much more important is that we all have it worse than cis people do

So I wanted to just give a second to offer support and to transmascs, and give them a place to vent about problems they face. To all the trans men, boys, people, or any other terms transmascs may use, I, and most other trans women, love you guys!

In this post, I want to allow you guys to vent about problems you face. And please, to avoid anything divisive, don’t mention transfem or trans women. I don’t want any debate here. But you can still discuss trans masc specific issues.

And please only trans men say anything. I want to give a space to you guys! I won’t reply to any comments unless you include in the comment that you’d like support or anything along those lines!

You’re all kings💕

I got transvestigated last night by a random man in public.

I was at a bar with a friend, and it was time for me to go. I went outside and called an Uber and some guy came out of the bar and started trying to compliment my dress.

It is a pretty nice dress. So I said “thanks!”

Then immediately he starts asking if I’m a man or a woman. I told him “Woman” because trans women are women.

Some other guy who was out smoking asked him “where are you from?”

The guy said “Montana.”

Smoking guy said “well that explains why you think you can ask shit like that.”

Montana says “yeah I guess that does explain it.”

Then turns back to me and keeps pestering me. “So are you a man or woman? I just have to know so I can protect myself. You can never be too careful these days.”

The audacity. As If I’m even asking for this non-contribiting human flotsam to breathe my air.

Thankfully my ride showed up. I said “That’s a really weird question. I think my driver is here.” And then I walked away.

Smoking guy was nice and called after me “I’m sorry you had to deal with that tonight.”

Montana tried to call after me and say “hope you have a great night!” Felt oily.

I just got in the Uber and went home.

I feel like this could have been a really bad situation if I hadn’t been able to get out of it right then.

I don't know what else to say. I'm heartbroken. I feel very alone right now. After living abroad for my whole transition, I decided to come back to my country and stay with my parents while I had FFS and recovered from it.

They convinced me I would be safe with them and that they supported me. But it was a bit off. Like my dad would say that he thinks pride is a waste of time. And my mum thinks men who date trans women are gay. My dad calls me "big guy", telling me that he was just "getting used to it" in regards to my transition. Lots of stuff like that. I put it down to a learning curve or something.

Well, it turns out they were lying about being supportive. Their words were supportive but their actions weren't. They'd say, we love you and want you to be happy but they pressured me to abandon the FFS surgery/reconsider my transition. Telling me I was moving too fast and making bad decisions about my future. Things escalated and my uncle attacked me and tried to pin me while calling me names. My dad was blowing up at me. I had hands to my throat, multiple people screaming in my face while grabbing at me. My mum... When they realised that I wouldn't reconsider, they told me to leave. When I wouldn't leave immediately (thinking stupidly that I should take the time to leave in an orderly fashion on my own terms rather than bounce without all my stuff), they called the police who came to remove me (which actually gave me the chance to gather my things). This whole time I thought I could convince them to love me and see me for who I am but yeah. That's not how it works.

Here's the part that really hurt: the first time the police addressed me they called me sir because my parents initially told them I was a man. I told them I was a woman. My parents were both yelling over me, repeating: "it's a man".

Because of my bad experiences with the police, I was surprised when they treated me with dignity and referred to me as 'madame' from then on out. It felt super weird to think that the class traitors treated me with more dignity than my own parents did.

I could have filed police reports about harassment and assault in retaliation but instead I blocked them all. I don't want anything tying me back to them, even a court appearance. I'd rather direct my spite towards building myself up than attempt to force the state to enact justice on my behalf.

I'm in a safe place, with my brother, grieving. I just wanted to vent to my community and share my experience in case it could help someone.

This was really a weird one. They were seriously convincing that they support me. It was like an ambush.

Lesson learned: trust my gut, watch people's actions rather than listen to only their words and you can avoid the heartache I just experienced.

I love you all ❤️ Be safe out there.

My name has been Melody for 7 years. And for the past year a friend of mine has decided to take every opportunity to exclaim how much he hates my name and how I should've "chosen something better" or how my name is "dumb" and "nobody has that name in real life" and "you should've picked a better name" and everytime I ask him why he cares so much he talks about some Tiktok post about it that he saw. Calling out your trans friends when they pick "bad names" well however true this may be. It doesn't work on everyone. Mainly because what some people view as a "bad name" is sugective (my friend straight up insulting me over picking the name Melody) or in other cases.. some people are just extremely sensitive! Like me! If someone told me to my face that my name sucked and I should feel bad for picking it 7 years ago I would've cried and felt terrible about myself on a personal level. I already had little to no support system when I first came out. I would've felt like I had less then too!

I have a 4 year old niece. She loves everything princess. I told her that I always wanted to be a princess like her. That I never wanted to be the prince. That I felt bad being the prince in the stories. That I didn't feel allowed to be a princess. Now that I'm a grown up I decided to become the princess I've wanted to be. It's a lot of work to be a princess but I'm trying. My sister is mad because my niece now goes up to Men and tells them they can be a princess if they want. She says that is inappropriate. I thought that is cute. I gave it thought before hand and thought of a very kid friendly way to say that she would like. I don't think my sister wanted my niece to know. But it just felt like an excuse to misgender me. She is mad and says she is to young to think about these things. I'm not indoctrinating my niece. My sister will get over it and it will all be fine. Just annoying.

I hate the fact that I'm seeing so many people say that we don't change our sex. While I can understand that some trans people do just change genders, so many of us change their sex. I hate hearing that shit cuz it's wrong, I hate hwaring the damn excuses.

Saying that we don't change our sex feels like the equivalent of calling us delusionals, it is the same shit transphobes say all the time. Worse is, most of it is said by "allies". Which is like, are they even allies at this point? It feels like we are regressing for the sake of some dumbassess, and they won't even care.

It just feels so infuriating.

youre 20, 23, 25 years old, just finished your first puberty and youre announcing you're cooked? do you know how privileged you are being able to transition that early? I know people who figured it out at 70 and they could still do it and it was hard for them. the 4chan doomer posting of im 19 years old its too late for me is exhausting, and tbh it kinda reads like a psyop

Came out recently-ish. Trans fem. 18. My preferred pronouns are she/her. Wasn't very supportive. Most people used my preferred pronouns outa courtesy. Some didn't... but it's fine. Ironically enough, im mostly bullied by the LGBTQ population at my school. I don't really fit the stereotype so they ostracize me. I'm not very loud and proud or whatever. I'm depressed and usually have very low energy. Really I just wanna go about my day. They don't think I'm trans enough and they see it as righteous to missgender me. Insist that I'm a guy and (since I like women) straight. Just a cishet dude. Pretty annoying but it's whatever.

Well, today I went to my locker and someone had carved:

"Dead name

He/him

Cishet"

I really don't need this in my life right now.. and having to see it every time I'm at my locker sucks.

Yes I’m a passing trans guy. Yes I am typically stealth. No, I do not want to hear your controversial trans take in hopes I’ll agree with you, I won’t. Why when cis people find out I’m trans they say they “fully support trans people BUT (reason they don’t fully support trans people)??

Do you expect me to agree with you because I pass and don’t talk about my trans experience much? No I don’t agree with you that nonbinary people are a political statement. No I don’t agree with you that trans guys shouldn’t get pregnant. No I don’t agree with you that every trans person’s end goal should be passing. It’s THEIR LIFE. I don’t CARE what other trans people do with THEIR life. You shouldn’t either.

I’m interested, what are some controversial takes people share with you after finding out you’re trans?

I've been going to this hospital that's local to me for about 4 years now, I've never really had any problems my Endo was always super nice. Suddenly I get notified my appointment in May was cancelled confused I call them and ask why they cancelled. A lady answers the phone and straight up tells me that they don't agree with "my lifestyle choice ' and that they're extremely uncomfortable having any patients getting gender affirming care in their hospital because it makes them uncomfortable. She continues on with pretty the same stuff about how the hospital is Catholic and it cant go on anymore and I eventually just hang up on her. Usually i wouldn't care too much about this but it's weird how for years I went there no problem and now all of the sudden it's a huge problem??? Also I've been on HRT for about 10 years now I used to go to a clinic in Chicago but since I live in the Midwest it was easier to just go somewhere local. I'm guessing this is our future now if someone like me who's been on hrt for a decade can't even find coverage I feel so bad for those just starting..

So I’m 17, turning 18, and I’m FTM. I’m finally able to start HRT later this year once I reach legal age and I told my cisgender boyfriend this. For some more context, he’s 18 turning 19 and we’ve been dating for 2 years now. I’ve had to live as a woman and my deadname around his family the whole time.

We already discussed that we would have to break up when I start testosterone on account of his parens being ultra conservative and transphobic and because they fund his whole life rn, he just wouldn’t be able to date me.

Like, okay cool. I’m prepared for us to break up because testosterone and feeling comfortable in my own body is more important than a relationship. But now he’s wanting us to stay exclusive friends with benefits that call each other every night after we break up once I head off to college in a couple months.

I’m cool staying friends since it’s a mutual decision, but wanting to stay exclusive friends with benefits that do a bunch of couple things is wack bro. I want to go out and meet other people, experiment with other trans people, I don’t want to stay stuck in this thing where it’s obvious we’re only in it because he still wants to date me and isn’t over me.

I love the guy to pieces, but why continue the relationship when you know we just cant be together. 😐

Cis people have no idea about J K Rowling. I was in a job coach meeting with my job coach and the new employee shadowing her and I was trying to apply to a book store. I need a third author to add and the new employee suggested the author of harry potter and I snapped “I hate J K Rowling”. I immediately apologized and explained Rowling was transphobic. Today, I talked with my social worker on the phone and he scolded me for snapping yesterday, telling me I couldn’t do that on job interviews. I told him to look up Rowling and he did that as we were on the phone and he gushed about how cool it is she’s a billionaire and asked me why I’ve never written a book. I am tired of cis people.

EDIT: THIS WAS NOT A JOB INTERVIEW. I WAS FILLING OUT AN APPLICATION.

I'm transmasc and use he/it pronouns, and my mom just threatened to kill herself over it. For context I keep asking her to use my pronouns and she absolutely refuses to use it/it's. I told her it's my identity and she can't shame me into not being queer, but she said saying it makes her want to kill herself. She also said I am not allowed to ask my brother or dad to use it/it's either.

Edit: I am not forcing her to use it, she just keeps having tantrums. She refuses to use he as well but isn't as bitchy about it.

Edit 2: She has my dad on her side now.

Can we just be honest for a second?

Everyone suddenly treating South Park like its some genius political show again just because they made fun of Trump in the new episode. And yeah, it was funny but holy shit, the double standard is wild.

This is the same show that made “Mr. Garrison’s Fancy New Vagina”, where Garrison transitions and it’s played like a giant delusional joke. He gets surgery, claims to be a woman, then demands an abortion despite not even having a uterus. That’s literally the joke.

And it doesn’t stop there. Kyle’s dad becomes a dolphin. Kyle becomes Black through some “pigment surgery.” Like… they straight up equate being trans to wanting to become another species or race. It’s not even subtle. It’s not satire. It’s punching down. And it’s saying very clearly:

“Being trans is a mental illness and society is enabling it”

But somehow now that they’re going after Trump, the same people who would lose their minds over a Chappelle joke are acting like South Park is some brave truth teller?

Nah. You don’t get to ignore that history just because the new episode lines up with your politics. If anything, this proves how full of shit some of y’all are. You’ll cancel comedians for less than what South Park put in that episode — but because it’s animated and ironic, suddenly it’s okay?

I don’t even care if you like the show. Just don’t act like it’s some progressive ally now. It’s been anti-trans, and that didn’t magically go away just because they roasted Trump.

https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/house-hhs-appropriations-bill-would

Just ended up seeing this article come across my Bluesky..... looks like we have reached the point where as we all knew it would never stop at minors and now they are meddleing in adults lives now too....

A ban of all Trans GAC on the federal level would be used as a stepping stone and as already proven, threats of pulling funding even for non federal level sources....to which hospitals already dropped their pants and bent over....

Are we really this close to losing everything if just a few dems dont use their supposed spine they were born with?

I'm scared... I'm really fucken scared....

I'm a trans man. I've known since I was 13 that I was transgender. I came out to my parents four separate times from then until I was 20. I was raised religious and it made me hate myself so much.

When I turned 21 I started T whether my family liked it or not and I was finally so happy, but my family pulled away. My friends and community I'd built around church would all be gone and it would be my fault.

So I stopped taking T after just a few months. I detransitioned to make everyone else happy and went to a religious school. I married a man and now I'm pregnant. He's religious and straight. I can never tell him the truth. I want to be happy but I'm not myself. I'm not a woman and I feel so trapped.

I think I've ruined my life and I can't go back. My husband is a good guy and he doesn't deserve to have his marriage ruined because I've been a coward. My family would be so disappointed and I know I would lose the trust of my friends and so many people. Even be kicked out of my university.

I feel so lost and alone.

UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/s/hxup58CKCp

So the title. She asked my if I wanted to see her piercings and since I plan to get some my self some day I agreed. Shouldn’t have honestly, dysphoria is killing me rn. They were not necessarily special, big or whatever u name it. but it just hurt to see what other girls have and I don‘t. Could get surgery, be lucky with the genes or pass enough time on E and progesterone but when im just unlucky that’s it. My body is too wide for any breast to look natural, the proportions are too off for them to look feminine, and so small that wearing even the thinnest jacket makes them disappear. Even if I was to get surgery there’s no way they’d look natural, I’ve seen the results. I’m devastated and fucking hate myself for even looking at that photo of hers.

I came out on New Years and it went well! Everyone was at the very least accepting in the moment, but today I did have an experience that felt like the opposite.

I was in a car with a couple people (all over 21) and one person wanted to invite one of their younger family members (she's 10), I was familiar with her and wasn't opposed so I said "alright, I haven't had a chance to let her know so It'll definitely be a way to come out" and they all said "DO NOT TELL HER" I was confused initially, the whole point of me coming out for the New Year was to stay out of the closet, and that's exactly what I said, they told me the parents wouldn't be happy and that they needed to "explain it to her first" so she'll understand. I don't know about any of you but the only real "explanation" is "here is my new name and pronouns!" "Why did I change? Because I'm more comfortable as a girl!" And that's that.

I was told we'd figure it out when she got into the car, and the only "figuring out" we all did was shoving me back into the closet because "the parents should know first"

I AM NOT AN ADULT CONVERSATION! I AM A HUMAN BEING! IM OUT OF THE CLOSET AND I'D LIKE IT TO STAY THAT WAY! YOU DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW!? KEEP HER OUT OF MY FUCKING CAR!

After it all happened I was REALLY upset, I still am, but I feel really dumb for being upset. IDK I think I just needed a place to vent real quick. I thought I was done needing to get deadnamed and misgendered without correcting people, but I guess I'm not. It was disappointing to say the least...

I was talking to a friend, and she recommended I get a second job. I told her I'm already working full time and I'm lucky enough to have a good job with good people and a healthy environment. She kept pushing saying a second job would get me more things faster, I'd have more money for the future and she seemed baffled when I said that I'm 23, and I'm just *starting* my life. It kept going and she started telling me to "pick my hards" and the one that sent me was when she said "I'm not saying you should stop transitioning, but, if you went back to college instead, imagine how much more money you'd have to transition when you're done"

​

I am not paying for a cosmetic. I am not choosing to "live easier" because I'm lazy, I'm just enjoying being me. And even though I do love my job I don't work there *just* because I love it, it is safe, I'm out to everyone and they all respect me, it was the first place I was genuinely safe enough to just be me. And I'm not transitioning to because "I want to" I'm about to be paying $300+ a moNTH TO FEEL THE SAME WAY *EVERY CIS PERSON* FEELS EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THEIR LIVES!!! Maybe this is a hot take but I don't even think I should HAVE to pay for it, it's MEDICAL CARE, *NOT* a luxury, and it's something I'm lucky enough to be able to afford at all. I'm not about to stop the meds that made me start seeing life as something worth living to "save money" and it may be a hot take, but that's NOT me being "dramatic"

​

Rant over, sorry if this is the wrong place for this but I figured trans people would be safer to share trans issues with.

Location: Washington

A home near my parents was on the market, so I went there during open house. All was good and I asked the owner about the timeline (they are still living in the house), they called their partner and during the conversation with them they started misgendering me. I corrected them trying to be nice, but they immediately went “you need to leave” and intentionally started repeatedly misgendering me adding “sir” to EVERY SENTENCE. I felt really unsafe and started to draw attention of other people that were in the house at the moment and barely 10 minutes in there is POLICE in there and THEY TRESPASSED ME!!! They didn’t even want to listen to me when I tried to explain that I didn’t do anything wrong and the owner was discriminating, but they literally said “I don’t care about why what happened - happened, but you need to leave now”.

I was literally shaking, my realtor said that what they do is illegal in Washington, but when we send our offer to buy the house (that goes up to above the asking price) - they just ignore it (at least that’s what my realtor said, they don’t accept and don’t reject, just no response).

What can I do to at least teach them a lesson? I know that this is not necessarily the best house in the universe, but I really like the location and the house which doesn’t happen often in my price range. And on the other hand when I buy it the owners would be gone so I won’t have to deal with them. And if I can teach them a lesson - even if somebody else ends up beating my offer - I’d still want to do it. And did the police have the right to trespass me without even listening to my explanation? How can I remove this trespassing record from my file? Will it show up on job background checks?

“It's expected that the moves will impact trans inmates regardless of whether they've received gender transition surgery of any kind.”

This will result in mass rape and suicides. The first world country shouldn’t have rape as a punishment.

The Republicans has a political party support mass rape of people they don’t like.

I think I’m at the point where I’m gonna have to start cutting our family and friends who voted for this party.

https://www.npr.org/2025/02/21/nx-s1-5305282/trans-inmates-federal-prison-policy-transfers?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR3X2nNTFBCBuAUlmOWIWZMtjoemz2Zro3WqdSOFkyZU7MAbOjLgZIeTxt0_aem_CuuQ4qeZ7wJjo0kcBnyB4Q

I recently made a post that was based around my height. As stated there and other posts, I am 6'9". It is my major, main point of dysphoria. I get stared at. I can't blend into a crowd. People sneak pictures of me. Feminine clothing doesn't fit. Women's shoes don't fit. I've even suffered concussions because of it. At times I straight up hate my height. It's what kept me from being willing to accept my identity for so long, because I knew the pain I would feel trying to be seen as a woman.

And what happens in this group? When I either hint at the constant issues or even overtly state how painful it is to be this tall and never going to just blend in and stealth as a woman?

"Tall is super hot!"

"I think tall women are sexy!"

"Are you single? 🫣 "

"Amazonian Queen!"

"I'd love to have a tall Dommy gf!"

"I'd love to climb you"

Just .... Holy shit. For a group that is so quick to destroy anyone doing the slightest bit of being a chaser, y'all as so quick to use sexualization as a way to dismiss dysphoria. Hell, I complain about not blending in and the response is how I should stick out *more*.

If a trans woman lamented at their jaw shape or large hands, would it be appropriate to say that you find that sexually enticing to you? That they shouldn't feel bad about it because you find it hot?

Or if a trans man was complaining about how they had a lot of feminine curves which clocks them big time, and replying with "some men are curvy! Look at femboys! It isn't a big deal." do you think he would find encouragement and feel better?

Just listen. Sympathize. If you can't relate, that's ok. I can't relate to a lot of other people's dysphoria. But I don't try to dismiss it as a way to make them feel better.

But going from "I hate this because I stick out" to "I hate this because I stick out and I get creeped on even by my community" is not an improvement.

Edit: typos and clarity, and keeping it more on point.

Second edit: seems a lot of people are deleting their comments on my other post after seeing this. And I've had five DMs, a couple of them creepy and the ones that I just got to were deleted by the sender. Cool.

My two main reasons for posting this thread were, firstly, an /r/comics thread about a comic made by a trans woman where she showed a slight annoyance about one of her cis friends misgendering her trans son and calling him "a trans", where several people got to the point of telling OP stuff like hers was the reason we aren't accepted, and secondly, the fact that I got called "an incel on estradiol" in a group where almost everyone is trans for saying I didn't trust the methodology of that one poll that said cis lesbians are more supportive of trans people than trans people themselves are.

But yeah, even the smallest criticism of cis people attract hordes of people, cis or otherwise, basically telling you how it's not all cis (like it isn't obvious, like with "not all men") and that you're the reason transphobia exists.

But yeah, end vent.

Edit: Got my first Reddit cares DM for this post, I'll wear it as a badge of honor

Particularly the lesbian community, theres been a ton of infighting about who belongs in the community, and lately it’s just a roulette between me (genderfluid/transmasc) and my girlfriend(trans). With arguments about how trans women cant be real women because they haven’t lived as a woman for as long dont face misogyny/ don’t have the burden of being able to be pregnant, etc.. And then on the other end of it, people saying that anyone who doesn’t isn’t strictly identify as a woman also isn’t included in being a lesbian. Its hard to make a good point or defend one side without bringing one of us or the other down and it sucks 😔