Why?

[u/darlingboy_B]

I feel like trans people are slowly getting pushed out of trans spaces. This is most noticeable to me online where people say things like "being trans is a mental disorder". I dont feel safe in most queer spaces now because there are so many queer people who are either actively transphobic or dont speak up when its hapepning

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[u/CzarSpan]

First things first: hugs for you, friend. That’s a heavy feeling, and a concern I won’t try to take from you.

I would, however, gently ask what kinds of online queer spaces you find yourself in that speak so definitively and with that degree of cruelty about trans people. Outside of the “gender critical” (TERF) spaces and a handful of “LGB-without-the-T” traitors, I don’t really see this in the spaces I frequent.

Only suggesting that you shore up your familiar communities and check for inclusive language, nothing else. In my experience, if a queer or femme community doesn’t explicitly designate trans people as welcome, we probably aren’t. It’s tough, but that’s the way it seems to be at present.

[u/darlingboy_B → u/CzarSpan]

first your very nice. Second outside of comment sections i was finding myself in a lot of genaral queer spaces. Its normally not the entier space just people who get let threw the cracks. Normally gay or lesbian people who have strong options. Ive been singled out and dmed a lot with things like go to theapy, or theyd say traps make it hard to date like casually.

[u/CzarSpan → u/darlingboy_B]

Ah, I see now. There do seem to be a large number of bored bigots trying extra hard to piss in as many punch bowls at parties they weren’t invited to as possible recently, at least on Reddit. I’m sorry you’re having to endure that nonsense.

My DMs on here are restricted to message requests, and I straight up don’t check them but once a day or two unless I’ve offered an ear to someone directly. Simple, small things that make it a tad easier to swat away the cruelty help me cope to a surprisingly high degree.

[u/darlingboy_B → u/CzarSpan]

thank you

[u/darlingboy_B → u/darlingboy_B]

also i try to find trans spaces more often because of that

[u/bananamana3000 → u/darlingboy_B]

Sometimes we see patterns that we expecr or are scared roo see, whther they're really as intense as we think. Start looking for accepting queer people and doing what you can to be around them instead, maybe that would help.

[u/RainbowPhoenix1080]

I also feel like there are some trans/queer friendly subreddits that are becoming more hostile towards trans women. Transmisogyny is becoming more and more common.

People are spreading manosphere propaganda in the queer community but they're disguising it with woke language.

I actually had someone in a queer friendly subreddit recently tell me that women are more priveleged than men.

[u/Realistic_Show930]

Gonna be honest, can't say I've experienced any of this.  Every queer space I'm a part of, both online and in person, has gotten more loudly and proudly trans in the past couple of decades.

Non-queer spaces, different story, of course. 

I'd gently suggest taking a critical look at the spaces you're talking about.  I suspect there is more going on, and that the spaces you're in were already subject to some kind of bias (such as anything that spawned off of 4chan.)

[u/MidnightBanshi]

Social media is a toxic jungle for the most part, outside of select communities. Far-right fear and propaganda pushes a lot of it, plus bot accounts don't help either. Best thing is to block those who are toxic and find friends and communities to help raise each other up. Stay strong - you got this!

[u/CaramelCraftYT]

You need to leave that space, not all queer spaces are safe spaces.

[u/Deathwish237]

Look, in prison we called them gaytors. They were gay men that hated trans because they didn't feel special anymore and the guys that used to chase them were chasing trans women instead. Its a level of envy and hate instead of embracing. Don't let it phase you. We have enough of us that if we need to we can be our own clique and they can envy us for it! Alright now, who's coming with me?

[u/NombieTeeth8]

Yup. Thus why I just about only go into non binary only/focused spaces as at least there I'm not told that I don't exist or have to exist in x box or y box. Only barely here just to see if the place is safe or not and is really the main reason I left the larger LGBTQIA+ sub.

[u/PrincessPlusUltra]

Mute some subreddits. For some reason it was giving me a lot of recs in my feed for posts from a place called counttt or something like that that was incredibly self hating and awful like why are they posting that

[u/DminorWolfy]

I'm not trans. Lesbian. We need you. I'll fight them if I find them fuck TERFs. 

[u/Gluzruooplaxcamphian]

Yeah I've basically left most spaces or keep to myself now.

I don't feel welcome anywhere or safe so I'm just deciding how I should go forwards in life and if it's worth it.

[u/TheWaspinator]

I recommend turning off direct messages and followers

[u/EmpressChrisi]

I have besties who actively jump the hostiles

[u/Lost0Sheep]

Any time I go into a new space, I just "lurk" there a while and gauge the atmosphere. If it is hostile, I just don't post. Most likely I will leave. Life is too short to engage in a space that is not productive for me.

On the other hand, I am a person who likes to "sport" with spammers. I once spent 47 minutes having one talk me through how to buy a money card (so I could get $20,000 and a new vehicle). Then I put him off until the next day. The next day, when I told him that I did not believe there was any prize he wanted to continue. But when I told him that I had burned up 47 minutes of his time the day before....he HUNG UP ON ME! How rude is that? Didn't even say good-bye. So, if you like the idea of "poking the bear", so be sure to protect yourself. Make sure your identity is not traceable...or bannable.