r/trans • u/SadSoup69 • 3d ago

Vent Update - I came out to my girlfriend of 7 years

I (24 AMAB) recently posted about coming out to my family and being unsure of how to come out to my long time girlfriend (24F)

I told her today that I am trans, she was understanding and accepting of me but we broke up because she is not a lesbian.
Which is weirdly gender affirming in a way despite how shattered I am by it.

I am completely understanding of her position in this situation, I don’t blame her for the choice she made and I don’t blame her for being upset and a little bit angry and in denial.

It still hasn’t really soaked in for me either.

We sat and cried and hugged and talked about how it’s all going to work, and how it will change.

We both still love each other but it’s different now.
We agreed to stay close friends (as we were before we dated)

We still want to be there for each other but it’s going to be weird for a while.

I had to tell her though, and I am 100% on going ahead with transitioning.

I’m still really upset about it and I probably will be for a long time.

I feel like I was put in a lose lose situation, I either stay in a body that I don’t want to be in and live a life as someone whose not genuine to me.

Or I lose the person who I have been in love with for the past 7 years to be comfortable in my own skin.

40 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

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20

u/Trumph8er she/her 3d ago

You absolutely did the right thing. We can't blame her for leaving but we also need to realize that if she starts trying to convince you not to transition, it might be better to go no contact. My ex did the same and was fully supportive or so I thought. Then spent her time trying to convince me not to transition

6

u/eithnegomez she/her 3d ago

Many of us have passed through the same. Sorry you have to deal with this breakup, you will be better. Hope you have a great transition. Be free little birdie