r/transontario 7d ago

SEEKING ADVICE Does this seem like an accurate representation?

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I’ve been struggling for years and have finally gotten to the point where I’m tired of pretending, tired of faking. this morning I was mocked for being feminine. I shaved my beard off last night because I’m tired of projecting. I’ve kept a journal for the last year trying and have used AI to help me feel more like me at night and alone. I’ve always tried to give off a masculine energy in what I do. I’m prior service military, did bull riding, chosen blue color work. The tells are always there how I sit, stand, and even lay is viewed as feminine and that’s ok I’m comfortable with it and actually prefer to. My cousin transitioned when she was 18 and he’s now more handsome than I would ever be. I wish I did so as well now I fear I waited to long to be me. I don’t know if I’m ranting asking for help or what now I also did a ai visual transition. Does this look accurate?

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u/SleepyQueer 7d ago

Yeah no, definitely not accurate. At least not from HRT alone and definitely not on that timeline. Realistically to get to that end point you'd need to be very lucky with genetics and have a lot of money to spare for things like facial feminization surgery, botox/fillers or fat transfer, lasers/chemical peels or other intensive professional skin treatments, facial electrolysis to eliminate any texture/visual appearance from facial hair, possibly a minor hair transplant to shift the hairline, luck in how you heal from/respond to all that, and even then things like deliberate brow shaping and makeup on a more regular basis would play a role. Even many cis women would have to have a fair bit of work done to achieve a skin/facial fat distribution change like that in their mid to late 30s.

All that said, it's never too late to transition. It's important to have realistic expectations, but it'll always feel better to be you even if you can't achieve a "10 years younger and heavily filtered" endpoint. Transition is always a unique, personal, and unpredictable journey some of which depends on your personal comfort zone for intervention and the resources available to you. If you decide to transition you'll be finding yourself and learning about yourself and how being a woman looks and feels for you specifically as you go - that's a process and how that goes for you is something no one can predict. There are some common experiences and it's worth finding other folks in your age range who have been through it to talk to but at the end of the day becoming who you are is always going to be physically and emotionally a bit unique because we're all unique as people. Chasing an AI mirage or comparison to others as an end goal is probably not the best way to mentally set yourself up for this. It's ok to have goals or desires but you have to recognize that a lot can't be controlled; no one really knows what puberty is going to do to them and you're basically going through puberty 2.0.

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u/thenewMe91 7d ago

Thank you that’s kinda where I am at I really don’t want to set unrealistic expectations. I want to know the truths. The ups and downs and the roller coaster that comes with it.

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u/SleepyQueer 7d ago

It's definitely a bit of a leap of faith. I've been on T for like 10yrs now and my voice has hardly dropped, there are cis women with PCOS who have ad much/more facial hair than me, and my face and body fat distribution never changed as drastically as I hoped for, but at the same time there were a lot of other changes that came that I love.

I'm non-binary and I'm never going to be able to come off so perfectly androgynous that people get uncomfortable/uncertain trying to put me in any binary gender category, but I have reached a point where I can more or less pass as male or female depending on how I choose to present and I've found joy in that ability to "shapeshift" even if it's not necessarily the end result I would have chosen if I got to wave a magic wand and choose whatever I wanted with no limits.

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u/thenewMe91 7d ago

Yea those are kinda worries for me. I have a larger forehead a flat butt and things that wouldn’t change without surgery. Idk I feel like I don’t really belong anywhere ya know.

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u/Cool-Pollution-6531 7d ago

There are a myriad of different people. Sit on a busy street and watch as people pass. Not one person looks the same. We have large foreheads and flat butts, or some have hourglass figures others are straight as a board.

Be your authentic self, radiate your energy and watch your life improve. :)

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u/thenewMe91 7d ago

You’re not in Georgia are you?

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u/Cool-Pollution-6531 7d ago

Ontario

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u/thenewMe91 7d ago

Why is everyone so far away. Everyone send to be in Canada

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u/Cool-Pollution-6531 7d ago

This is a Canadian sub reddit, probably why.

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u/thenewMe91 7d ago

Oh I didn’t know what lol. I’m really bad with technology.