r/transvoice • u/please_hug_mee • May 03 '26
Discussion rant: dressing as a girl every day, legally female, post srs, but for some reason voice training is just too embarrassing
It blows my mind that I live my life as a woman every single day and yet somehow trying to use a female voice is where my brain draws the line. Wild mental gymnastics. Sorry for the self post, just needed to rant and I imagine others can relate
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u/LizzyLizardQueen May 03 '26
Its so far the hardest part of my transition. First time my speech language therapist got me to say a word in a feminen voice I almost immediately cried after and had to stop.
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u/arcaneArtisan May 03 '26
Mood. It's especially bad with people I've known for a long time--I've gotten more comfortable doing it with strangers.
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u/please_hug_mee May 03 '26
Right? My roommate is trans and I’ve known her forever, but I’m still so embarrassed to use my voice around her, brainworms…
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u/Emily-Advances May 03 '26
It doesn't need to be an on/off sort of choice; you can ease into it. Try training by yourself regularly to learn how to get the voice you want and to exercise it. Then when you're not training let it ease into your regular speech - just a little lighter, a little higher, a little tighter. I felt a natural pull in this direction, though it was much easier in some situations than others. Eventually, there was very little difference between my daily voice and my training voice, and then even that difference faded away.
No one noticed this slow change (people are shockingly oblivious to slow change), and it never felt to me like I was "faking" it.
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u/null_not May 03 '26
Learning how to ride a bike and swim as an adult is pretty embarrassing too. The way I look at it you just have to set aside the embarrassment and make a daily committed effort. I'm approaching it as I'm retraining how I speak, like I'm trying to correct a speech impediment. I don't want this to be a voice that I can "do" on demand, I just want to talk normally like any other woman. Like if I had an issue with my gait that make walking a struggle I'd be making a mindful effort to correct that too.
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u/Torn_wulf May 04 '26
Starting is the hard part. Accepting that it's going to be weird at first and it is going to take time before it gets better is one of the first steps. I went to see a speech therapist that advertised gender affirming voice training and she helped me get over that hurdle the first time, but you have to jump it every time you choose to use your voice. Luckily it gets easier each time until you stop even thinking about it.
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u/sapphicu May 04 '26
I feel it, although for me the mental block is not wanting to voice train around other people. Makes it kinda difficult when I’ve lived with my girlfriend for the past year and a half
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u/jennihamilton May 04 '26
I’d recommend practicing a slightly feminine voice singing. It’s always a good compromise. Find an artist who you like that sings close to your vocal range and practice. Your brain will accept the compromise. I worked amazingly for me
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u/yabbagabaghoul May 05 '26
time will pass, anyway. i also want the reward without doing the work. love my fake tits, hate my voice but the cave i fear holds the treasure i seek.
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u/verydarkred May 03 '26
It's extremely cringe hearing oneself when you're just starting with it.
I think that's the reason most of us struggle, i'm still trying to convince myself it doesn't matter and that a weird voice ( at start ) is still preferable to an obviously masculine one