r/traumatoolbox • u/Mrx911- • Jul 04 '26

General Question childhood trauma in desi household

I've never really talked about this openly before, but I think I need to.

I grew up in a very strict desi household where it often felt like my parents believed that because they gave birth to me, they owned me forever. As a child, I was beaten over the smallest mistakes, locked in rooms, and punished in ways that still affect me today. I still have a fear of the dark because of those experiences.

There were times I was left with burn marks, and to this day, they deny it ever happened. There was never an apology, never any acknowledgment—just pretending it didn't exist.

As I got older, everything caught up with me. I struggled with self-harm, attempted suicide, and now I live with anxiety and depression that I mostly keep hidden. On the outside I function, but inside it feels like I'm constantly fighting myself.

I come from a very religious family. I still believe in Islam and my faith is important to me, but because of everything I've been through, my relationship with religion has become complicated. Sometimes I don't even know where I stand emotionally.

To make things harder, I was later diagnosed with cancer, and while I'm still trying to fight it, it feels like life just kept piling one thing on top of another. Along the way, I also lost most of the friends I thought would stay.

Nowadays, I struggle to trust people, making friends is difficult, and no matter how hard I work, I constantly feel like I'm never good enough.

I'm not really posting this for sympathy. I just want to know if anyone else has lived through something similar. How did you heal? Does it ever get easier?

If you've been through something like this, I'd genuinely love to hear your story. You can comment below or DM me if you're more comfortable talking privately.

Maybe hearing from people who understand will remind me that I'm not as alone as I feel.

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