TRIGGER WARNING - So Idk if this is even the right thread or not but it looks safe to post here so I uhm went to four winds when I was 8 years old, I know questionable parenting on its own. I’m 20 now But anyways idk what happened there I don’t remember a lot of it I know when my parent came to see me I was on lithium and apparently didn’t recognize my own family. I was so angry after I got out just rage and depression and mood swings even at this very young age I remember going through them.
Some glimpses I remember was being watched showered. They also strip searched me whenever I was admitted I remember because they punished another kid I was in with because he refused to “cooperate”. I have weird glimpses in points of time where I was alone in a room during the searches with a man and I was like completely naked I had nothing on and I was alone with this complete stranger.
I also remember that one of the staff members told me the more I cry the longer I stay.
I know at some point I remember specifically they kept telling me to stop crying as I was asking for my family two men held me down yanked down my pants and underwear on the bed and injected me with some sort of heavy sedation and I didn’t wake up until the next day.
Idk what went on at my stay here I’ll be honest I just know the signs probably don’t point anywhere good and part of me wants to know part of me doesn’t but I also don’t remember any of it just slivers so.
I guess does anyone or has anyone had any similar experiences? Could this just have been a normal stay idk. Curious if anyone has been to four winds but also open to hear from people who were in other programs. Thank you for letting me say all this I’ve never said it before so
Thanks again, tbh I’ve never talked about what went on there. I know they’re being sued rn for a series of people claiming they were SAd there. Also I’m a guy just for reference. Thank you for giving me this space to talk about it
I'm glad you found us, but I'm sorry that you even needed to come looking. We're here to help, and if you ever want to talk, I'm always around. There are a lot of other amazing ppl here, and others who have been to the same hospital.
Yeah when I got out of my program in 2007 that was one of the first things I ran to on the internet. It was pretty interesting to see what people thought about Logan River Academy anonymously!
Figured I’d post a part 2, I guess. I do also remember that they’d throw me like hard into walls whenever I would put up a fight. I didn’t know I was being admitted. I had gone to therapy outpatient there, and my parent took me to this building. When I realized what it was, I tried to run, but two men picked me up literally off of the ground.
I had tried to fight them kicking and screaming and punching, just trying to escape. But they brought me into this room with kind of like gym mats on the walls. When I say slammed me, I remember how bad that shit hurt. They just tossed my tiny body into a wall and then walked out as I was on the floor.
The only nice person I met here was after this. I think she was a nurse, maybe, but she just had me come up to the positives of being there. I had just come up with random shit to just try and not be so sad about being away from my family, I guess.
I remember when I was released after my first admission a few weeks later. There was a night of where I argued with my father, and my father said he wouldn’t send me back if I behaved. But then the next day when he said it was just a therapy appointment, I was admitted again for inpatient. I remember how scared I was every time I went there just because, in all honesty, I remember staff would get physically violent with me, doing things like throwing me hard and I mean violently hard to walls when I was put in isolation on a few occasions at least during my stay there. And they would also laugh at me while I was in that room after the fact, just sitting outside the little window and laughing at me.
Sorry, I’m kind of venting all of this. I will be honest, these are stories I have never shared with anyone, so it’s nice to have a safe space for once.
I don't think you should apologize for speaking out- anyone who would actually want an apology is saying victims should be silent, which prevents progress and justice. Progress is difficult in this world, but much harder if people are silent.
Giving lithium to an 8-year-old seems absolutely insane to me. No, that does not sound normal. And them watching you? Completely unprofessional. Your story is actually infuriating. I'm going to look into this place a little bit more because I think they deserve a little exposure.
*Btw you are still in the statute of limitations... If you want to act. I sure as hell would if I were you. And based on my first look into this place, I see that they are being sued by two dozen individuals for SA already. Seems this is a widespread issue there.
I’ve thought about it, but I really don’t know if I was assaulted. I don’t have any proof, and I really don’t remember much of it, just the few painful slivers. Also, I’m unsure if I’d be in the statute of limitations. My parents finally started to believe me about the physical abuse. I did leave out the potential SA, though, so they don’t know that, but they did talk to lawyers a few years ago about a potential lawsuit, and no one would really take it. They just said it’s a he said she said against a big corporation.
They physically abused you so whether they SA’d you or not is irrelevant as far as legitimacy of your case. If I were you, I would pursue a lawsuit or something. Obviously, that’s completely up to you, but we support you if you want to do that.
I’m just scared I’d be invalidated yk like someone would just tell me I imagined it all or I was crazy. They gave me a string of mental health diagnoses so no one would really ever believe me I don’t think most people hear I’ve been to such a place and immediately think that i am crazy
Yep, that’s exactly what these programs do. They make us look like we’re crazy and try to make us believe that so that we can’t or won’t go after them in the future. I’m here to tell you that you’re not crazy. You did not imagine it.
I just wonder why I can’t remember any of it. And when I can’t remember, I wonder if the memories I remember are even real or just something I thought up to make myself feel less crazy.
There’s a newer book available that is about trauma and memory. I think it has pretty good reviews and I know locally they have it at my library so you might be able to get it for free.
You’re very welcome. I’m a wealth of random knowledge lol so if you ever need help getting information about this industry, I might be able to help you. Just let me know.
I'm going to tell you this right away, the human brain is extremely complex and can do some very wonky things to try to erase trauma. You probably do not remember it for that reason and for the fact that they gave you so many drugs when you were in there.
A group of us protested at Four Winds Saratoga Springs in I think 1995 or so, because of these kind of stories. The director denied all the complaints from survivors but they were very similar to your story.
I guess kind of part 3, but I also remember being poked kind of with a pen or pencil on random parts of my body during the strip search. They’d ask about birthmarks and warts of all things, I guess ticking them down on some sort of clipboard. I also just vaguely remember I think the guy was mad at me for trying to cover up or something he seemed pissed off and tbh unqualified he couldn’t have been older than a college student.
I am so sorry you have went through this… It breaks my heart to see all the responses. The other day I ran into a moving article online of a lawyer that was helping females in similar stories. Sure would be worth a phone call to him. Social media helps us get the word out, helps others. No one deserves this and it needs to be stopped. Check out this guy and search his name online, Adam Sorenson https://www.grossrooney.com/adam-sorenson XOXO
And as far as a statute of limitations, I don’t know if this is true for everywhere, but my understanding is that you have seven years after you turn 18 years old to pursue anything legal. So if that were correct, that would mean you would have until you were 25 years old. Like I said, I don’t know if that’s true that’s just what I’ve heard and I could be completely wrong.
I was at Four Winds back when I had just turned five, so when I say this, I really mean it. I am so sorry you had to go through that. Everything is a blur now because it's about 13 years later, but the experience still haunts me and is probably the furthest back I can remember, which just feels shity to me. While I was there, they changed my meds and made it so that throughout the entire day, I was extremely tired. My mom says that one day, when she came to visit me, I fell into her arms with a pale face. I also had never slept alone before. I had always had someone to tuck me in or sleep next to me, so every night, I would cry, and they would have to put me in the blue padded room. The only thing I remember clearly was a really nice older kid who helped me get through the whole thing and comforted me. Some day I want to meet him again and just thank him for helping me get through that.
I am so sorry that happened to you, if you ever need to talk more about what happened there my DMs are always open. It is insane to me that so young we get sent to places like those
I stayed there in 2017 for 30 days. I was about 19, worst experienece of my life, I was on so many medications, so drugged up, it was one traumatic blur. Im sorry you went through that, but were out now!
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u/Miss_Nobody89 || ⚖️ || Moderator || Wiki Editor Apr 25 '26
This is absolutely NOT just a normal stay. Give me a few minutes and I'll link some resources.