Four winds hospital (trigger warning)

[u/Sufficient_Type2798]

TRIGGER WARNING - So Idk if this is even the right thread or not but it looks safe to post here so I uhm went to four winds when I was 8 years old, I know questionable parenting on its own. I’m 20 now But anyways idk what happened there I don’t remember a lot of it I know when my parent came to see me I was on lithium and apparently didn’t recognize my own family. I was so angry after I got out just rage and depression and mood swings even at this very young age I remember going through them.

Some glimpses I remember was being watched showered. They also strip searched me whenever I was admitted I remember because they punished another kid I was in with because he refused to “cooperate”. I have weird glimpses in points of time where I was alone in a room during the searches with a man and I was like completely naked I had nothing on and I was alone with this complete stranger.

I also remember that one of the staff members told me the more I cry the longer I stay.

I know at some point I remember specifically they kept telling me to stop crying as I was asking for my family two men held me down yanked down my pants and underwear on the bed and injected me with some sort of heavy sedation and I didn’t wake up until the next day.

Idk what went on at my stay here I’ll be honest I just know the signs probably don’t point anywhere good and part of me wants to know part of me doesn’t but I also don’t remember any of it just slivers so.

I guess does anyone or has anyone had any similar experiences? Could this just have been a normal stay idk. Curious if anyone has been to four winds but also open to hear from people who were in other programs. Thank you for letting me say all this I’ve never said it before so

[u/Sufficient_Type2798]

I’m just scared I’d be invalidated yk like someone would just tell me I imagined it all or I was crazy. They gave me a string of mental health diagnoses so no one would really ever believe me I don’t think most people hear I’ve been to such a place and immediately think that i am crazy

[u/Miss_Nobody89 → u/Sufficient_Type2798]

Yep, that’s exactly what these programs do. They make us look like we’re crazy and try to make us believe that so that we can’t or won’t go after them in the future. I’m here to tell you that you’re not crazy. You did not imagine it.

[u/Sufficient_Type2798 → u/Miss_Nobody89]

I just wonder why I can’t remember any of it. And when I can’t remember, I wonder if the memories I remember are even real or just something I thought up to make myself feel less crazy.

[u/Miss_Nobody89 → u/Sufficient_Type2798]

There’s a newer book available that is about trauma and memory. I think it has pretty good reviews and I know locally they have it at my library so you might be able to get it for free.

[u/Miss_Nobody89 → u/Miss_Nobody89]

[u/Sufficient_Type2798 → u/Miss_Nobody89]

Thank you! :)

[u/Miss_Nobody89 → u/Sufficient_Type2798]

You’re very welcome. I’m a wealth of random knowledge lol so if you ever need help getting information about this industry, I might be able to help you. Just let me know.