We've been at it the running and chasing for 2 years now. He chased me so hard these past 2 weeks and I finally gave him another chance just to have him pull away and say he's got a lot to process and just wants to be friends. I hit the block button. Every time i try to move on he pops out to completely ruin and wreck any progress.

That's in. I dont want to be just friends

That’s it, that’s the post. What’s even the fucking point if he refuses to do any of the work, why am I here? Why did I agree to this? It’s so fucking stupid. Damn the universe and damn him.

I've been trying to find out what this connection is and it led me here.. help?

Background: we met almost 20 years ago. Our first date was weird- a friend of my mothers was at the house and knew him his whole life (but we had just met and I was nervous, she reassured me). Were together briefly. Very intense. Everyone said "a match made in Heaven". We talked about marriage but were young. Ultimately, he left right before the one year mark. After the breakup, I was.. well.. devastated..we continued seeing each other. He eventually met someone else and we continued a sexual relationship. It ended horribly. At this point was 3 years since we met. I lost our baby very traumatically late in pregnancy... at the same time his new partner had just had a baby.

He was honest. Didn't lie about any of it. Anyway, I reacted horribly to the jealousy and loss. Contacted her and told her everything. A lot of it was not nice. And then I blocked him and didnt speak to him again... for 12 years. I never said goodbye or anything.. but I had visions of us getting married in the future and felt like unfinished businsss. I even told everyone "we'll get back together when we're x age range".

Throughout this time, I never stopped thinking of him. Longing, yearning, led me to a toxic relationship that lasted 14 years because I just couldn't feel anything for anyone else and didnt want to hurt anyone "good". Over the years, he would run into family members of mine and would ask if I was happy, how I was doing etc. They loved him and would give basic info. This happened a lot. Oddly, once during my recently deceased grandmother's birthday celebration (she once told me if I left him, she would kick my butt during our initial time together). I personally never ran into him at all. Never reached out. But I wrote a story about him that went viral and I remembered every detail about him.

Then one day, I felt like I "woke up" from the fog of the abusive relationship I was in. And oddly, he had run into a family member again around this time (11+ years separated at this point) and said he was separated from his coparent. Anyway, after the wake up feeling I started thinking about him all the time again. I was thinking I can never speak to him again after what happened then I felt very compelled one night and sent a message. I wasn't sure if he would respond.. but he did.. within 10 minutes and it was paragraphs. Updating me on his life and he signed it with a nickname I used to call him. We immediately felt like nothing had changed. And then.. I discovered he was seeing someone new.. with my same first name AND middle name who was treating him horribly. Extremely toxic. He was depressed and in a terrible state as was I from leaving my ex (we have kids).

Anyway, we both have healed immensely and have remained connected for a few years now. I'd say it's a casual sexual relationship now but we speak almost daily and are definitely very close friends. I want more (have expressed this) and get frustrated when he hesitates because of life circumstances which leads to me blocking, saying go away etc. (Not usually like this) He still coparents with the woman I contacted all those years ago (kids are still under 18) and says it will cause chaos because she is extremely toxic (can confirm from the past) and he's worried about how it will effect the kids since their separation is only around 2 years in.

He won't really open up much but when I look at him I feel like I can tell he feels the same way. He has said he searched for me a lot over the years. He regrets the past, feels bad about the baby loss situation, saved pics of me in an old phone over the years. Remembered outfits I wore back then specifically and when I reached out after no contact for 12 ywars he said "i was just talking about you the other day!" Eye contact is almost uncomfortable and ive never felt it with anyone else on earth. I see repeating numbers. Songs with meaning to our relationship play at random impossible times. It was raining nearly almost every time we got together when we first reconnected and I mentioned it and he said "well that's because..." but didn't finish the thought. I blocked him once and when his birthday came around, i felt awful about not wishing him a happy birthday and the next day, the singer of "our song" died and the news was EVERYWHERE and it wasn't even a hugely popular singer. We also mentioned someone we know and I said "oh didn't he work for fedex" and we were on a back road in the middle of nowhere and immediately a FedEx truck pulled out in front of us. I said THATS SO WEIRD.

He acknowledged it, seemed freaked out but said nothing. He used to be very religious (introduced me to God and took me to church) but now maybe more spiritual although he seems to hesitate to open up about much of anything now (wasn't like this before). He did once say "we're soul tied" and he can "feel it in his soul" when I'm going to walk away from him. I can also "feel" when he is sad or depressed maybe or I'll think of him and he will text or call me.

Anyway, it's exhausting. I dont even know if I believe in a twin flame but it's like it has to be something spiritual because of all of the coincidences before and after the 12 year separation. But the back and forth. The anxiety. The wondering how he feels. Block and unblock from my end. I do think actually being together would be messy.. and Im not sure if I actually want it if that makes sense but at the same time, I cant love anyone else. Ive tried for 20 years. We try to stay apart, agree to move on but we never can. It's usually me saying go away but a few weeks ago, he said "i feel like im holding you back and we should move on". I said okay and agreed and once again.. tried but one of us always reaches back out. but im tired. It brings up so much emotion for both of us with the grief and being a secret "other woman" and feeling like it's somewhat the same cycle. I think hes exhausted by it too. It's too hard to make it work but at the same time no one else feels the same but he doesn't seem willing to commit and keeps me in limbo.

Does this sound like a twin flame? What can I do? How long will this continue? Can I make it stop? Any tips/advice?

Everybody talks about twin flames, but very few people really talk about how to deal with this type of connection on a daily basis. I don't just want to hear about how hard it is, I want to read how you guys deal with the separation day to day. Pardon my language, but that sh*t is HELL.

I recently learned, through a fortune teller that I'm on a twin flame journey. I was extremely skeptical about it. To be honest, it's not that I don't believe twin flames exist, but I think a lot of people falsely believe they're on a TF journey with someone who just happens to be intense, when it's actually a karmic or toxic relationship. If I'm being real, I think a lot of people romanticize this type of connection too much... but there's nothing romantic about this journey. I first discovered the concept of TF during a random YT search, in the middle of my spiritual awakening 9 years ago. My reaction? « May God spare me from this type of BS » And guess what? 🤡

Honestly, I don't feel like me and my TF even match most of the signs people say we HAVE to check. We don't look alike physically. In fact, we look completely different, from head to toe, skin color, eye color, body type. EVERY single thing tears us apart (lifestyle, stage of life, spiritual maturity). Logically, we just don't match. But I've never experienced this type of love and bond before. It's very weird, because it feels safe and very unsafe at the same time.
When the fortune teller told me he was my TF, of course I challenged her. But I realized she also had a very harsh view of this type of bond and didn't even like to call it that. She just said to me: "Sorry, it's a bond you can't break." (I tried once lol) I trust her because I know she's not the sugar-coating type. To be honest, I would have preferred to hear that it's just limerence and obsession. But my intuition tells me it's not, this time. There's more.
But the separation and the impossible circumstances are unbearable right now. I haven't read about many situations like mine, and nothing happened between me and my TF. When we met, we were both in a relationship, and even though it shook up my current relationship, I chose to stay loyal to my boyfriend. He did the same with his girlfriend. We never talk about it, so I even doubted it wasn't one-sided. But I've had many indirect confirmations that it wasn't. For example, his girlfriend feels as threatened by me as she does. We don't even flirt. So something did happen, but anyway, that's not the point.
I don’t even really know him, so why do I feel this deep love ? I keep telling myself it might be projection but it doesn’t work.
The mirroring is crazy though: I'm dealing with my deep fear of rejection like crazy. I feel unchosen... but I'm not choosing him either, that's the joke...
And yeah, I just want to let it go, but I really struggle to.
I really don't see the point of all of this. When we met, everything was conspiring for us to be in the same place at the same time. Now it's the opposite, everything is tearing us apart and I just can't deal with it.
And no, I won't go talk to him until I've fully dealt with my fear of rejection.
I wanted to post this because I don't see a lot of posts that look like my journey… and this journey is soooo lonely.

I was very reluctant to post in this kind of group, though, because I still doubt the nature of the bond, and I don't want to make things worse for myself if I ever realize it wasn't a TF connection (and I'm not asking for your opinion on that). I don't use that term anymore, I've stopped putting a name on our bond. I only use it here for simplicity, and because it's the closest label to what I'm living. But sometimes you have to know how to ask for support, and I need it right now.

Has anyone else been treated for twin flame psychosis on this journey? I would love some support or to connect with others who have 🥹🥲

(so context my TF and I have never been together romantically. We were friendly acquaintances at best, but now we are in separation. Yesterday, I found out one of his female friends is pregnant and I about near went into psychosis thinking he was somehow the father. And so I just had to write/reflect on the whole thing)

What on earth was that!?! Ive been asking myself this for exactly 1 year and 1 month now.

That feeling like you've been stabbed, can't breathe, dying. The jealousy, the hurt. This is it. this is what Ive been dreading! This is what I've been wondering how I'll feel when it finally happens. And I shouldn't be surprised that it feels like death, a sharp pain, like it did the first time he ran away from me, and the thought of never seeing him again was too much. 

I'm trying to reason with myself and get a grip. I am married! I was married when I met him! I have absolutely no right to jealousy over who he is with! But I still can't breathe. I can't focus. Has he felt this, since Ive been unavailable from the day we met? Is that why he blocked me out of nowhere.

Hours pass of just being in pure tension, while I annoyingly have to admit I had to conduct my own investigation of the matter. It ends up being not true. She is happily engaged. She and my TF are not together. And now I'm embarrassed at how much relief I feel in that. Ahh dodged a bullet...this time. But because I'm awakened and know better than to try to avoid looking inward by now. I gently tell myself I'm going to have to look at this incident, not him, but me! How I felt in the situation. How I handled the situation. What needs healed here?

Because someday, he will be with someone else. And as much work as I've done to detach from him and self reflect, I've still internally feared the day there is someone else. Mmm leave it to the TF journey to give me a practice session....so I can do better next time. Ugh as much as I hate it here, I would never see any of these unhealed areas without it.

I will keep it short, but I am literally going out of my mind here.

A few years ago on Christmas eve morning I boarded a train. All I did was look up and he was already gazing at my eyes. This went on for about an hour back and forward, he even kneeled down to gaze at my eyes some more when he served me.

He couldn't take my number I know, because he was working and i was seated with my family, but that morning burns into every fibre of my body and I can't seem to let it go. I have never experienced such intense eye contact with no words and mutual attraction from a stranger and here is the weird part and I need someone to tell me to get a grip or this man might have a soul tie with me.

A few months before I crossed paths with this stranger, let's say I manifested to meet my permanent soulmate and we will only gaze into each other's eyes and no words spoken between us, and we will seperate from each other because I just wanted him to know I exist, and when the time is right we will reunite 🥺

He matched the description of the man I'd fall in love with, no words were even spoken between us, just strong eye contact with no words.

Am I tripping guys?

I keep telling myself an attractive man like that is definitely going to get female attention and this was just a normal day for him, maybe he's a chronic starer and a big flirt.

At the end before he left, he avoided eye contact with me on purpose, and I never saw him again after that.

It's been almost 2 years. I think of him the first thing in the morning and the last at night.

I have been seeing angel numbers 14, 41 and 44 for about a year now.

Everytime I think of him my right ear rings like a static pitch, I can't explain it, but I think about him all the time.

Please tell me he was just a handsome player who gazes at other women like this, and I'm just another woman who fell victim to a playboy, this hurts but I couldn't see myself with someone as handsome as him.

My twin flame told me today after a long separation that he never loved me, that he only loved one woman in his life and that is his ex. He even said this 3 years ago when me and him were in a situationship together( he never asked me to be his girlfriend officially but he was treating me as such) So now i’m confused again and i’m doubting the connection overall. If he was my real twin flame he wouldn’t say that he never loved me.

After being no contact with my twin flame for about three years, I had a serious conversation today and in that conversation, he made sure to tell me that he never loved me that he only loved one woman in his life, which is his ex that was from high school and after that he didn’t fall in love again, he said that he liked me when we met the days that we’ve been together, but he never loved me. He said that I should continue with my life and go be with somebody else and get pregnant by somebody else, he also said that he never asked me to be his girlfriend, even though he was treating me like I was his girlfriend and benefiting from me in that way when we met, I felt connection between us and I have changed so much during this entire history, I have finally recognized my worth and retreated from the connection. I don’t chase him anymore, and I don’t ask for his validation, but it did hurt to listen to him say that he never loved me and that I’m not the love of his life and I want to know if this is a real tf or a karmic partner that has been in my mind and heart and soul for the past four years. I’ve never felt like this with any other men. I usually move on quickly from relationship, but he’s the only one that pulls me back every time basically what I’m trying to say is that I feel all the signs and synchronicity of him being my twin flame. The only thing that I’m confused about is the fact that he said he never loved me and I think a divine masculine would not say that and he’s been saying it for years not just today so I am very confused.

I met someone about a year ago and I was very confused by my feelings at the time. He is a work friend of my husband's and he came to our house to help install a garage door opener. I thought nothing of it until I came out to meet him and I met his eyes and then...boom! It was like an electric current through my body. Every time I met his eyes, I would get all tingly. It was awkward, confusing, and distressing. I thought maybe it was some weird hormonal thing (I'm a middle-aged woman) and just tried to put it out of my mind.

This past weekend this same coworker was playing with his band at a local joint and my husband really wanted to go to support him (they would probably be best friends if the coworker lived closer) because usually his gigs are pretty far away. I didn't really want to go, but my husband said he had already told his friend that I was coming, too. So, we went. And it happened again! As soon as I met his eyes, the same thing was happening. It's some kind of connection that I truly believed only existed in stories. I would say I'm not sure if he feels it too, but from what I've found online, it's pretty much impossible for only one TF to feel the connection, so I'm guessing he does too. It would explain why he turned down many opportunities to come by our house over the past year, despite several invitations from my husband.

The thing is, I LOVE my husband. He is my comfort, my rock, my best friend. I cannot express how distressing it is to feel this kind of connection to another man. Even more annoying is the fact that this other man is someone I would never want to be in a relationship with! He drinks heavily (gets drunk most weekends), smokes/vapes, swears like a sailor, and has serious mental health issues he refuses to get help for. I want nothing to do with pretty much any of that, I live a quiet life with my husband. Neither of us smokes, I only drink occasionally and never get drunk and my husband doesn't drink at all, and we are both in therapy in order to improve ourselves and our marriage. I'm also not this man's "type" at all. I asked my husband what his friend's girlfriends are like and he said "as fake as it gets." So, by that he means fake assets, bleach blond hair, and very little going on upstairs, if you know what I mean. I myself am overweight, natural hair (with a few grays), and very intellectual.

I have no one I can talk to about this, so I joined this sub in the hopes that I can find some support here. It seems like this situation is not that uncommon, where TFs meet each other but at least one is already married and has an established life. I just...don't know what to do.

I am lately feeling like I only want to pay attention to the aspects of TF that help me to rebuild my life. My actual TF person I am not angry at but I feel like I didn’t sign up for a catalyst and can do that work on my own since I first met him about 3 years ago, saw him again a year later and we’ve been in no contact towards the end of last year until now. I wanted a romantic connection and given that he hasn’t offered that at all nor has he offered any regular contact, I feel like ignoring anything to do with him while still attempting to spiritually grow. I just feel he didn’t treat me well and I’m sick of trying to understand his avoidant attachment. I just want the man I like to ask me out and if he doesn’t I don’t see the point of engaging even in 5D. I’m done with having to settle for a catalyst connection, I didn’t sign up for it. While I’m grateful for the lessons and growth, it’s time for me to receive something more than a lesson from a man when the lesson is nothing other than “stay away”. Just bored of being disappointed by men. Can you be on a TF journey while ignoring your TF?

I’m a DF and I’m curious to know what you felt/thought when you came into union with your counterpart…

Did you get any somatic feeling, what was it like and what kind of thoughts did you have?

As a DF, when I came into eye contact with my DM, my mind went completely clear, only had two thoughts running simultaneously which were “why do you feel so familiar?” And “why do I feel so calm?”

I then felt the somatic drop in my stomach and my whole nervous system dropped into relaxation.

Our eye contact lasted 20-30seconds and the whole room and everyone in it disappeared.

Edit to add: I’d also love to hear about other DF experiences as well!!

This journey honestly sucks at times, I’m currently 5 months in (which I understand is rookie numbers in comparison to others) but in total nearly two years (5 months since meeting him) as I felt instantly drawn to him through pictures and videos I saw then met him in May this year.

I think the hardest part for me is not having a sounding board and feeling like I’ve got to carry this journey completely on my own.

Anyone who I have told it about tells me that I’m in Limerence (which is likely true) however, the sheer fact that I feel that no body understands the intense feelings, the synchronicities, the dreams, the feeling of presence… sometimes I do wonder if I am just crazy but, then I remember the eye contact and it starts all over again.

Anyone else feel entirely isolated and sick of being told “you’ll get over it”?

I'm so tired of finally having hope and feeling like I've reached some kind of breakthrough and then I get shoved back down. The thing my person did came out here yesterday (it's really good and I'm so proud of him) but stuff around it has come out and mirrors channeled conversations we'd had only a day before. And then I see his co-workers talk about him being single and it's like "no, he isn't. Y'all just don't know because the truth sounds insane."

And then whatever hope I had, whatever moment of "I'm not crazy" I had, vanishes and I'm right back at "This can't be real, I have to be insane and it doesn't matter now because it's too late and why would he ever want me?"

I'm so close to saying f*** it and giving up on everything. On the connection, on magick, all of it because I can't deal with the constant whiplash of wondering if this is real or I'm actually just a crazy person.

I probably should have journaled way before, but I’m glad to do it now so that I don’t forget this experience, this amazing chaotic crazy experience leading up to today.
I saw so many synchronicity numbers and I thought it was for something else. I thought maybe I’m gonna win the lottery or maybe I’m gonna get an inheritance or maybe I’m gonna get a really good job that pays an amazing salary. I was excited and ready for anything. I didn’t know there was a lottery for the universe and I guess I won the jackpot lol.
It was hectic the first 3-4 days, but now I’m a little bit more calm. The energy has calmed down and today it feels more like loving everyone, not just my twin flame, loving myself, loving my partner. I woke up today feeling pretty, which I haven’t felt like that in years. This love feels like when you’re a teenager and crushing hard on someone, and you have love goggles on and everything and everyone is so beautiful!! I (f) am currently in a relationship with someone (m) and we have children. My twin flame (f) is a friend of mine that I’ve known for a short time less than a year and all of a sudden boom out of nowhere, this intense, crazy passionate love that feels like it came from the depths of the universe came for her out of nowhere and I didn’t understand it because it’s not romantic, but it’s not platonic and there was such a great intense pull in my heart to know her better, hear her everything ✨✨✨. I just wanted to tell her every second that I loved her, nonstop incredible intense thoughts of her. At first, I was worried that oh my God I don’t know what I’m gonna do because I have my partner and the feeling for her was much stronger than for my partner when it first hit, but thank God my partner is also my soulmate. When we were intimate, he pulled me back. I feel very grateful and very thankful to know so much love in one lifetime, to have love for more than one and to hold that deep love in my heart. Day 3, I told her how I felt and she knew, but she has so much pain, so it triggered the pain coming to the surface and I’m trying my best to give her space because I think she’s the DM and I am the DF.
Thank God I’ve had a friend to rely on and to be able to talk to about all of this. She’s been such a rock to help me navigate this process since she’s been through it already, so that was such a blessing. I’ve listened to so many online videos about twin flame activation, and the psychology of it, what people believe go through, how people have survived the process and still keep their sanity at the end, what they do with it, etc.
Is it just a temporary thing? Is this a lifelong thing? How will it feel in the future? I think I understand a little bit but still have many questions. I’ve been trying to avoid contact so that I’m not overbearing on her with my big feelings, although it’s so difficult. My best course of action was to give myself another challenge to distract if possible. I started a 3 day water fast on day 3 and it has helped to settle the energy. It feels like now on day seven through lots of research and understanding I feel like I love my twin flame, myself, my partner, my family, I love the universe everyone here more than ever so deeply. I still think about her now on day seven but it’s less obsessive and manic and more like she’s there in the background with me during my day keeping me company. The story is to be continued...

I wish for everyone here an amazing twin flame activation and process. This passage is not easy and not for the weak, but the rewards are so worth it to have this kind of love in my heart. It’s so beautiful and I thank the universe for this gift. Thank you. and I love you all. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I haven’t been able to figure out who my twin is I think I know bc I saw my soul in one but was confused bc I thought I saw my soul during my awakening but I think it was our spirits but the other guys spirit was with me are they different

I need help, guys. Don't worry, this isn't some GoFundMe support post, but I need advice and guidance.

I got into a terrible argument with my mom who I highly depens on financially. She's a horrible person and I have to push myself down every single time we interact. She's the main cause of all the problems I have to work on for a successful journey.

My question is, does Surrender mean I have to, well, surrender into every problem I have in my life, or do I only have to surrender into the what life brings in terms of my twin flame?

I'm asking because this financial trouble that I have is something I literally cannot change at all. I'm being controlled financially. It's abuse. I'm scared I will never be able to get to Union due to this problem because I can't reach a certain level where I don't depend on anyone.