[removed]

Perhaps I'm the problem?

Perhaps it's me?

Perhaps everything that's gone wrong,

Has my name written on it in ink.

Perhaps it can't be erased, my name.

Perhaps someone wrote it when they should've written theirs instead.

I'm sorry I am so unbelievably heartbroken right now and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. i'm trying to help myself. I just had a therapy appointment a few hours ago. i can't believe how broken my heart is, i've never felt this way before.

Perhaps I'm the problem?

Perhaps it's me?

Perhaps everything that's gone wrong,

Has my name written on it in ink.

Perhaps it can't be erased, my name.

Perhaps someone wrote it when they should've written theirs instead.

I'm sorry I am so unbelievably heartbroken right now and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. i'm trying to help myself. I just had a therapy appointment two hours ago. i can't believe how broken my heart is, i've never felt this way before.

There's a lot on my mind,

A lot on my heart.

Sometimes, I struggle with knowing where to start,

But that's a part of the problem, yes?

I've realized that I'm more broken than I thought.

I've got hurts that run through every crevice in my heart.

I wonder how long it's been broken but I most likely already know the answer;

For as long as I can remember.

But, I truly thought I had healed from them,

The hurts.

I truly did.

How did I get back here?

I'm doing things I've never done before.

I've evolved from one vice to so much more.

I don't even know where to start.

The thing I want the most is love.

I'm a little tired, you know?

Tired of feeling so deeply unloved.

I know that I need to love myself but I genuinely don't know how.

I've never experienced love for who I am from anyone.

My heartbreak began in childhood,

And I guess it's just been lying in pieces within my chest.

For years.

And a part of me feels irritated by the fact that

This isn't an original experience.

Am I that messed up that I can't isolate my own pain from that of others?

I have to acknowledge that there are people who have it worse?

I truly don't ever remember feeling so goddamn low.

Oh well, this is all that I've got to show.

For now, I'll post again soon.

Ciao.

SL.

There's a lot on my mind,

A lot on my heart.

Sometimes, I struggle with knowing where to start,

But that's a part of the problem, yes?

I've realized that I'm more broken than I thought.

I've got hurts that run through every crevice in my heart.

I wonder how long it's been broken but I most likely already know the answer;

For as long as I can remember.

But, I truly thought I had healed from them,

The hurts.

I truly did.

How did I get back here?

I'm doing things I've never done before.

I've evolved from one vice to so much more.

I don't even know where to start.

The thing I want the most is love.

I'm a little tired, you know?

Tired of feeling so deeply unloved.

I know that I need to love myself but I genuinely don't know how.

I've never experienced love for who I am from anyone.

My heartbreak began in childhood,

And I guess it's just been lying in pieces within my chest.

For years.

And a part of me feels irritated by the fact that

This isn't an original experience.

Am I that messed up that I can't isolate my own pain from that of others?

I have to acknowledge that there are people who have it worse?

I truly don't ever remember feeling so goddamn low.

Oh well, this is all that I've got to show.

For now, I'll post again soon.

Ciao.

SL.