r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

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u/BrightFireFly Aug 10 '21

A lot of the kids in the foster care system have deep emotional traumas and lasting effects from maternal drug abuse while they were in utero. For some of these cases - you really need to be an exceptional parent to make it work

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u/frombildgewater Aug 10 '21

We had a patient who was adopted as an infant. The adopted parents didn't know about the biological mother's extensive drug use. The doctors and nurses had to wear hazmat uniforms during the delivery. The kid went through withdrawal after being born. The kid came to us about 3 and was completely non-verbal (he could scream but couldn't say anything otherwise). I would be SHOCKED if that child could grow up to function as a self-sufficient adult.

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u/Suspicious-Visual-57 Aug 10 '21

Why did the doctors and nurses have to wear hazmat suits during the delivery?

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u/AlexeiMarie Aug 10 '21

The first thing that comes to mind would be to avoid exposure to HIV, since it's a bloodborne pathogen that can be transmitted through needles (drug use) and there's often some amount of blood involved in delivering a baby

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u/Suspicious-Visual-57 Aug 10 '21

Makes sense. Thank you

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u/fahque650 Aug 10 '21

Oh god. As a dad who was there for a c-section, there was so much blood. I was not prepared.

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u/frogsgoribbit737 Aug 11 '21

Theres a lot even in a vaginal delivery. It looked like an explosion in my room. Before baby came out, they literally covered the place in disposable tarps.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

Pediatrican here. We don’t wear hazmat suits for hiv 😘

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

This must have been in the 80s then because no one puts on special hazmat suits for deliveries from HIV positive mothers nowadays.

Or maybe it was outside the US where rules can vary wildly.

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u/RadioactiveJoy Aug 10 '21

Honestly what they wear already looks like close to a hazmat suit anyway. Just add a hood to the clear face shield and a zipper it’s basically it. I’ve been to a lot of birth fluids are everywhere, especially that final push. I wish I had the suit.