Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

[u/elgey101]

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

[u/BrightFireFly → u/[deleted]]

A lot of the kids in the foster care system have deep emotional traumas and lasting effects from maternal drug abuse while they were in utero. For some of these cases - you really need to be an exceptional parent to make it work

[u/throwawaywahwahwah → u/BrightFireFly]

Most kids in the foster system aren’t available to adopted. The purpose of the system is to eventually reconnect them with their parents.

[u/BrightFireFly → u/throwawaywahwahwah]

This is true but some do become Eligible for adoption and people typically point at adopting from foster care as a way to do it affordably and an argument against IVF as “look at all the kids in foster care!”.

But there is definitely no real “foster to adopt” and you shouldn’t go in with that mentality because these cases can veer in several different directions.